I want to enter the BDSM lifestyle with my lover

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I want to enter the BDSM lifestyle with my lover

Unread postby Alice1994 » Thu Nov 19, 2015 5:29 pm

Hello, my name is Ana and I'm looking for some help to know better and explore the BDSM lifestyle. I always had a lot of curiosity about it, I use to read educative blogs about bdsm and erotic stories and now I'm thinking about starting to fulfill my fetish of being submissive during sex. I'm divorced atm and I'm a little afraid of what my current lover might think about me since he is a little conservative regarding to sex, I've been thinking of using dating sites like this, but honestly I don't know if thats the way of starting because I don't really want to cheat on my man :| , but I need something more! I'm all open to suggestions.
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Re: I want to enter the BDSM lifestyle with my lover

Unread postby stephanie_cd » Sat Nov 21, 2015 2:16 am

Hi, and welcome to the Bound Forum!

There are a LOT of threads around here asking "how do I bring up BDSM to my" significant other, and the good news that these days it SHOULD be easier than ever! Unless your new boyfriend was living in cave for the past couple of years, he MUST have heard something about "50 Shades of Grey." :D Assuming that he has, be honest but try to start him off easy with things like your wearing blindfolds and being tied up -- don't jump right into the deep end of the kinky pool to start off!

It really might help to know what you ARE looking for before we start suggesting websites like that one -- are you looking for ideas, or discussions, or actual participation?

When it comes to websites like those, a very popular one is Fetlife.com, which isn't a "singles site" so much as it is a "networking site" like Facebook, designed for kinky people like us. :D Unlike many singles sites, there are no membership costs unless you want to watch videos, which is "only" $5 a month.

The site that you linked above has been around forever, but it's also part of a huge network of Adult Friend Finder's OTHER sites, and they apparently all share the same "instant messenger" system, which means more people are online, but it also means that people are looking for VASTLY different things! Their "free" membership used to be severely limited -- free members couldn't send an e-mail to most other members unless a paying member contacted them first. As of 10/24/15, though, free members can't even READ an e-mail that was sent to them and are "encouraged" to "upgrade to gold membership" for $29.95 a month or $161.10 a year. They have also been plagued by FTC charges involving spyware, problems with billing fraud, and hackers. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adult_FriendFinder

I've been a member there for many years, but I'm not sure how much longer that will last.
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Re: I want to enter the BDSM lifestyle with my lover

Unread postby FritzLimbaugh » Thu Nov 26, 2015 6:02 pm

I wanted to do this but if surely backfired. It was kind of my mistake because I didn't introduced her to this life I just tried to have a live show with oher on latestrip and she freak out and we abbandoned that show. I never mentioned it again but seeing this I might have a new way to make her understand.
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Re: I want to enter the BDSM lifestyle with my lover

Unread postby FatherOfFour » Sat Nov 28, 2015 1:06 am

I have to state it at start, I'm happily (vanilla) married, never tried kink with another, and I'm only "testing" people for fun (mine!):
- I play with small pieces of rope (I always pop-up some ropes...) - key-chain, braid, lanyard, etc.
Sometimes people ask for it to play themselves, sometimes I give them to keep. It's the way they treat or braid it thru fingers...
- I play innocent "what if" games:
When the conversation languishes, I pop some question: What if Your hubby/wifey slaps Your behind while making love?
- Sometimes I tell jokes, or newspaper stories on the subject, or the famous line: "The British researchers have found that..."
Off course, while flirting or small talking You could play a plethora of other mind-games, from sadistic-testosterone-filled-dom to let-me-kiss-your-footsteps-sub.

I have to admit I've never proved my findings (I'm also deep in the closet myself), but it's a good training ground:
Also, Their reaction is absolutely adorable!

Good Luck, Have Fun,
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Re: I want to enter the BDSM lifestyle with my lover

Unread postby enigmaPOJ » Sat Nov 28, 2015 7:49 am

I would suggest Fetlife. It's like Facebook for the Kink Community and isn't really a dating site. There you can find a local munch. (A munch is a group of like minded kinky folk getting together for dinner at a restaurant usually in a private area.) Then you can meet people and find out about learning about local events to explore and learn about the lifestyle. There are also hotel events like Dark Odyssey in February in DC where there are classes from BDSM presenter all across the globe. (There are many events all over the place.)
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Re: I want to enter the BDSM lifestyle with my lover

Unread postby Servillo » Sat Feb 06, 2016 11:20 am

Hello Ana, sorry for late reply to your post, but i found it just for case and i wanna share with you my private and really personal experience ! Some years ago i never tought i like BDSM life style and never tought i could like in the future. One day just for case when my wife was out for a only girls night with her friends i was alone and i started to spending my time on AmaPorn and PornoAmatoriali , and i found there one video BDSM video that catch my attention !

After that night i start to dream every night to try this with my wife till one day simply i spoke directly with her and she understood my dream and she told ok will do the same ! Some time i wanna tell is better to be direct with your partner is strongly possible that if he/she loves you she/he will understand your desires and will do because of love ! ;)
Last edited by Servillo on Thu Oct 13, 2016 10:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: I want to enter the BDSM lifestyle with my lover

Unread postby ducttapelover » Mon Feb 08, 2016 1:17 am

Funnily enough for the first time last night I introduced bondage to my gf

I'd been thinking about it for a while but wasn't sure how to go about it with her but after having sent her a few videos of soft and playful bondage which she enjoyed watching we gave it a go tonight.

I taped her mouth with just a couple of narrow strips of tape and over her eyes and lightly bound her hands and legs with tape too. She found it really relaxing and I kept her like that for about 1/2 hour whilst I basically groped and felt her up.

Afterwards she gave my dick a good suck as well as she's lately started getting in blowjobs as well again after i sent her a few videos

So all around it was a good success for both of us
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Re: I want to enter the BDSM lifestyle with my lover

Unread postby KoreyDunworth » Wed Jun 29, 2016 1:24 pm

I remember when I first introduced my wife to BDSM lifestyle. We were alone in the house one night and I started to show her some bondage videos from Pornhub.com, after two more I showed her a live bdsm show from Fapshows.com and then I slowly begun to tie her and tease in the same time. I got to say it was one of the best night of my life!
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Re: I want to enter the BDSM lifestyle with my lover

Unread postby RAE123 » Thu Jun 30, 2016 1:54 am

With my Wife, I started slowly, I tied her hands spread eagle to the bed; Than
I put some whipping cream on her boobs and proceeded to lick it off.
She loved it; wanted more and more.
We played at least once a week like that; no to over do the bondage thing.
She started to look at magazines to get more ideas. We did have fun.
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Re: I want to enter the BDSM lifestyle with my lover

Unread postby mike16 » Mon Oct 03, 2016 2:23 pm

I exactly know what you are talking baout. I had a fetish for years and couldn't tell or speak with my girl about it because i've known that she is not into it.
I watched a lot of porn and red a lot of educational blogs about BDSM. Then I bought a VR device to show my girl how it would be togehter and showed her more and more about BDSM and all my fetish. VR porn and this website http://www.virtualporn360.com/ really helped me or us to take her the fear of trying it for the first time.
My sex life is better then it ever has been! :)
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Re: I want to enter the BDSM lifestyle with my lover

Unread postby Ricky » Wed Jun 06, 2018 4:28 pm

Hello Ana,
I think all major dating sites can help you in your case. The site does not have to be BDSM specialized There are so many members in the major sex dating sites like these, that you can always find the person with whom you can satisfy all your sexual fantasies.
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