Who knows about your fetishes?

Dom/me, sub, swtich or undecided? Bring your kinky ideas in here!
Imhotep
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Who knows about your fetishes?

Unread post by Imhotep »

I'm getting quite bored of playing alone, and absolutely desperate to experience my fetishes(latex, total enclosure, mummification) with someone else. So I'm thinking of telling a female friend whom I know has some sexual feelings for me.

Has anyone here ever done this, and how did it go?

My main concern is the trust involved. I've never told anyone about my desires, having never been in a committed relationship, so this would be a big thing for me. I live in a small town and if she happened to tell anyone, it would make things....uncomfortable.

I may have just answered my own question, but I'm curious about who knows about your fetishes and if anyone else has ever told someone(who you may not have complete trust in) about their fetishes, and how did it go?

tiemeupalso
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Re: Who knows about your fetishes?

Unread post by tiemeupalso »

i know the feeling.i live outside a small town,and i dont have anyone local i can talk about these things to.
sometimes i think i am the only kinky one in the county.

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stephanie_cd
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Re: Who knows about your fetishes?

Unread post by stephanie_cd »

Years ago, I had a very close (but completely platonic) relationship with a female friend, after we were introduced by a mutual friend. We had a few interests in common, but it didn't look like we had much in common when it came to the bedroom -- she liked big, burly, hirsute guys (which I'm not) AND girls, for one thing. We ended up hanging out a lot together because of our other hobbies, and we both seemed satisfied with that for a few years.

One day, in casual conversation, I think she was trying to shock me when she mentioned her interest in bondage. I think I shocked HER with my minimal surprise, my "me too!" and my intelligent, knowledgeable, "I'm in the same club" questions like "which parts? Bondage or self-bondage? S or M? Sub or Domme? Rope, metal, or leather restraints?"

After we both got done talking about our particular bondage interests, I decided that I could trust her with my OTHER kinky hobby -- crossdressing.

The look on her face and her laughter made my heart sink for just a few seconds, until she exclaimed "okay, NOW a few things make a LOT more sense, like why you would sometimes be REALLY slow opening the door when I just dropped by unannounced!"

"'Hang on, I just got out of the shower!' only works so many times, huh?"


Then she surprised ME with some of HER intelligent counter-questions, and it turned out that one of her other friends worked at a large local "drag show bar" and knew many local drag queens.

That short conversation led to a lot of interesting things in both of our lives, like "Stephanie's" first venturing out in public at that CD-friendly bar, a mutually interesting and kinky relationship, my discovery that I was somewhat of a "switch" and not just a "sub," our incredibly amicable breakup before discovering that we actually made great "bondage buddies with benefits," and her discovery that there were a LOT of guys on the internet who loved the idea of a no-strings-attached female switch for kinky play!

Sadly, those results are probably not typical, your mileage may vary, and I'm still hoping for another, similar experience.

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LockedInALocker
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Re: Who knows about your fetishes?

Unread post by LockedInALocker »

Imhotep wrote:[...] I'm curious about who knows about your fetishes and if anyone else has ever told someone(who you may not have complete trust in) about their fetishes, and how did it go?
     No, I haven't directly told anyone at all. Having strong autistic/Asperger's tendencies, and quite likely having the actual condition, it is not easy for me to make friends and socialize, so I have very few friends anyway.
     But I have one male friend I had from my teens, around 1970, and I suspect that he suspects something of my interests. As my user-name indicates, and as anyone who's read previous posts of mine from more active years on this forum will know, being locked in a locker is one of my main interests in this sort of thing - one of the big two or three things for me.
     It stemmed from when I was locked in lockers at school as a prank, and discovered, quite suddenly, how intensely I enjoyed it.
     Many years later, I told the friend, by e-mail (since he lived at a distance) about those locker episodes, although without mentioning any kind of fetishistic interest, and he laughed his head off about it, found it just hilarious.
     Since we were so distant, we kept in touch mainly by e-mail for some years, and I occasionally happened to mention something or other about the lockers in e-mail. Although I thought I mentioned it in a natural-sounding way, perhaps this gave it away, and was more obvious than I thought at the time; but, some time later, he would occasionally make sly, joking references to lockers in a way that seemed to show he was onto me, "nudge, wink", although he never said so explicitly. For example, one recent e-mail made a puzzling reference to "tight, tasty lockers". I wrote back, all innocent, saying I was puzzled by why he said that, and really didn't know what he meant - just to see if he would play his hand a bit more and give me clues as to how much he was aware of; but he said nothing more about it.
     So indirect things like this make me think he does suspect, although, to this day, neither of us has ever referred to it explicitly. Although we are not direct about it, I am inclined to think he is quite accepting of it, and doesn't judge me for it.
     If he still lived nearby, whether I'd be inclined to ever ask him to lock me up, I don't know - neither of us is gay, so I don't know how he (or I) would regard doing a thing like that together. But, since he has lived in France for over two decades now, it doesn't arise....

     Other than him, no-one has even the slightest clue about my interests, at least so far as I've noticed, and I am keen that that remain so, since most of the people I know do seem to be very conservative about things like that, and I don't think many of them would approve.

Regards, Michael.

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Tied85
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Re: Who knows about your fetishes?

Unread post by Tied85 »

A friend of mine from college knows but I rarely speak to him anymore. My ex knew after I tied her up once which she seemed to enjoy. My wife knows because, well, she's my wife. The only other person who knows is a girl I did a photo shoot for a few years ago, I initially went to do a fetish themed shoot but we ended up doing a bondage one too. One thing lead to another and I mummified her using 2 rolls of bondage tape before photographing her laying on the bed. She enjoyed it and we got some great photos from it. She also tied me up briefly but nothing else happened and I lost touch with her after I met my wife.

the_bondage_guy
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Re: Who knows about your fetishes?

Unread post by the_bondage_guy »

The first time I opened up about my fetishes was to a former girlfriend I know longer stay in contact with. Most recently I had told a woman about my age of all my fetish fantasies. She pretty much accepted everything and didn't question any of it.


Hogtying and gagging the girlfriend was probably one of my best experiences in bed. After I released her from the hogtie she wanted to take control of the situation so she tied me up pretty tight, then had her way with me. Sigh... Hopefully my next gf won't mind about my fetish fantasies.

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kinkstuff
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Re: Who knows about your fetishes?

Unread post by kinkstuff »

LockedInALocker wrote: Having strong autistic/Asperger's tendencies,
     It stemmed from when I was locked in lockers at school as a prank, and discovered, quite suddenly, how intensely I enjoyed it.
You are frigging awesome!!!

RAE123
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Re: Who knows about your fetishes?

Unread post by RAE123 »

My wife knew about my wishes to be in a strait jacket; And she liked
strapping me up real tight.
Rae

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kinkstuff
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Re: Who knows about your fetishes?

Unread post by kinkstuff »

Ive had this fetish since I was around 12 yrs old. I used to wrap my doll up in tape, and hid it.... I dont think anyone saw it except my dad but I dont think he thought anything of it. I used to look at heaps of things as a way to be tied in, for example, one was a wicker clothes basket, the height of my chest, i put myself in it and closed the lid feeling trapped. I looked at a reclining sun chair, and imagned being strapped to it with tape and rope. When I was 16 I imagined stories, id make up stories in my mind every night about stuff that was happening to my made up characters. Sometimes (not all the time) i still make up stories in my mind before i go to sleep.

Noone knew of my fetishes, my ex in 2006 caught me looking at pics of men with hoods and gags, posture collars and things like that, i had no idea he was watching, and when he caught me I quickly shut it off, then later on told his mates that i was into bondage. I tried lieing and said it was a pop up but im sure he did not believe me.

2 years into my relationship with my hub I told him. He got on the subject about how he knew someone who wanted to feel like she was raped, and for a guy to run in the room wearing a mask and jump her. So it was easier for me then to ask him if he'd wear a mask for me and he said "yes, probably" and then it went from there. Im so glad I did coz I enjoy my sex life so much more now :-)

Im sure I got my genes from my dad, because I saw him draw women wearing catsuits, and I know that was his thing. I still never told my dad, I mean, why tell him anyway, right?

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kinkstuff
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Re: Who knows about your fetishes?

Unread post by kinkstuff »

Ive started to put up pics of me in a corset and whip on instagram . I don't have many followers at all so i thought I'd have that as my raunchy account. One guy i go to the gym there saw my pics and he likes them. I dont like the idea of that but oh well. Then i put a pic of me with a collar and chain, and i commented on some random mens photos saying fetishplay stuff when they are clean as lmao.

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atryingpet
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Re: Who knows about your fetishes?

Unread post by atryingpet »

Probably more people than I'd like xD
A couple of exes, most thought I was crazy, but I still blabbed.
My ex-Domme (obviously), my partner and funny enough our roommate. She's more Dominate, where my partner and myself are more submissive. I've talked with her about teaching her what I know (as far as rope, and tape techniques). But for as exciting as the conversations are, it's been too awkward to try anything.. Although maybe that will be a new years resolution?

Very interesting topic btw :)
I caved, I'm back on FetLife:
https://fetlife.com/users/6006690

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kinkstuff
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Re: Who knows about your fetishes?

Unread post by kinkstuff »

Imhotep wrote:So I'm thinking of telling a female friend whom I know has some sexual feelings for me.

Has anyone here ever done this, and how did it go?

My main concern is the trust involved. I've never told anyone about my desires, having never been in a committed relationship, so this would be a big thing for me. I live in a small town and if she happened to tell anyone, it would make things....uncomfortable.
Ive just had a good chat about this to my hub after I drank a few drinks tonight, and he knows I'm into kinky fetish, yeah but after speaking with him, I know what he definately does NOT want to try but then again he might like to try what I have in mind, which he has no idea about, and I still dont know how to put it to him either, without him thinking I am grose.

I like alot of things I mean I REALLY have fetishes for just about anything really, and I knew he wouldnt like being bed bound for a long period of time - he will try that, he is scared of it still, but after reading Rae123's post in "Any other AB/Diaper lovers out there?" he'd need something to keep him going to the toilet while being bed bound (my mind wonders about this stuff a lot) - so he joked about me saying this by saying "just give me a catheter and a bag hahaha", and I thought I'd laugh to go along with it (he doesnt know what my mind gets up to, nor has he ever) and laugh with him aswell..... I then suggested to him (pretended jokingly like he had laughed at it), and I laughed and said "or a diaper hahahah" and he just said "thats just grose" then I pretended to agree with him and tried smiling, but I kinda felt let down, but didnt let onto it.....

My moral of the story is:
There are ways to bring something up like this but not let on that you have ideas that you want to go ahead with it. It is worth a try without making it seem like that is your thing..... does that make sense?
I sure hope so coz I had a tad to drink.....

Happy new year all xx

Stahlketten
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Re: Who knows about your fetishes?

Unread post by Stahlketten »

Hi Kinkstuff.

I wish my wife would think more on the kinky side.
If your prisoner is a male, the solution to the bathroom breaks is actually pretty simple. Look for a small plastic urinal. They usually come with a screw on or snap on cap. You don't even need to release most kinds of bondage to use it.

Happy New Year!
- Stahlketten

flover
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Re: Who knows about your fetishes?

Unread post by flover »

No one knows and it is driving me crazy. My wife has no intrest in aney fun. It has ben 8 years of no sex at all.

Hertoy
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Re: Who knows about your fetishes?

Unread post by Hertoy »

Couple of months before I proposed to my current wife I had a good long conversation with her and talked about my interests. She exhibited some dominant traits but had never gone "all in". Fortunately she was willing to experiment along with me. Her biggest concern was more about causing injury to me than anything else. There was a B&D / S&M support group in our area at the time and after attending a couple of meetings she was fine with pretty much everything. The only thing she wasn't comfortable with was me going out in public crossdressed.

Hey, we all make compromises so that was something I could live with. :)
Mistress ! No ! Please ! Don't ! Stop !

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boundBinder
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Re: Who knows about your fetishes?

Unread post by boundBinder »

tiemeupalso wrote:i know the feeling.i live outside a small town,and i dont have anyone local i can talk about these things to.
sometimes i think i am the only kinky one in the county.

Living in "small town Texas", myself, I'm RIGHT there, with you. :( It feels that way, sometimes.

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Ass_Whiplash
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Re: Who knows about your fetishes?

Unread post by Ass_Whiplash »

A lot of people know, a lot of people don't.

My Wife (/Mistress) knows, we met in pretty much the kinkiest way possible. Almost all of our friends know, since we met most of them through the local kink community.

My few vanilla friends don't know, nor do my co-workers, my boss, and my family. It wouldn't be the end of the world if people found out, and I like to think I stronger a good balance between not actively trying to expose my kink and not going to excessive lengths to hide it.
Male slave in Victoria, BC - collared, in chastity, and married to my Magnificent Mistress.

Adsterrr
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Re: Who knows about your fetishes?

Unread post by Adsterrr »

I'm very open about my fetishes to close friends, I don't see it as anything to be ashamed of.
It's only when I start dating someone I find it hard to tell them as I'm scared about how they'll react. Some guys are really in to it, and others run the other way!

tiemeupalso
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Re: Who knows about your fetishes?

Unread post by tiemeupalso »

if someone i was dating told me about a fetish my instinct would be to run toward them and help anyway i could.

MelbourneDom
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Re: Who knows about your fetishes?

Unread post by MelbourneDom »

Only one person outside my past/present partners or the local BDSM scene knows of my kink and he is a *very* good friend in who I place enormous trust in other areas too.

I suggest people be very careful who they take into their confidence and, personally, I would *never* publish anything on the internet which identified me with BDSM. Once it's on the net it is there forever and can *never* be taken back and what may seem OK to you now may not seem the same in 10 or 20 years time.

I have a female Dominant friend who is a lawyer; she use to be with a high power multi national company until they discovered her BDSM penchant. They fired her. Yes, she could have gone legal with them, may even have won but it's damn sure she would never have worked in Australia again.

Friends and lovers can, and often do, turn against us and can be vengeful. I have known a number of divorces where marital BDSM practices have been used as evidence of abuse in legal proceedings. Consensually tying someone up and beating them with a whip may seem normal to you and me but to the majority it's abuse. Even if we have evidence it was consensual the presumption will be that we "talked them into it". A few sobs, a few tears, a paper tissue and suddenly you're a perverted, sadistic, sick bastard - especially if it's male on female.

Have a care before you reveal things to others.

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