My wife and I have been into the local scene for over 8 years and we usually play 1-2 times a months at dungeons, mostly in queer play spaces or an private dungeon we belong too with a small number of member. We also play with certain people and my wife isn't into rope or fireplay. Being in the NYC area, we have a lot of options.
We used to go to hotel events (like Black Rose, Winter Fire, Floating World, etc) but we just haven't had the time for those several day long events and we know a lot of the classes that are taught, but it's still great to meet up with friend and play in some really nice play spaces. I miss those, but right now we are saving money for other things I need next fall. (GCS Surgery, or at least what insurance isn't covering.)
Just a Geeky Kinky Girl