Overhyped the First Session?

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Cptblands
Unfettered Newbie
Posts: 3
Joined: 26 Jul 2016, 20:21

Overhyped the First Session?

Unread post by Cptblands »

I told my girlfriend about my interest in light bondage back in July, and we both agreed to try it out after STD testing. We didn't get tested until late September, but when we both came up clean I wrote an idea for the first scene. She's shy, so it was going to be mostly vanilla with a few one column ties to keep her spread (along with minor roleplay). Now it's mid October, and the first weekend I picked coincided with her period. We moved it to this weekend but she cancelled due to college midterms. We're both booked until early November, and I'm worried my scene is too simple now that we've had so much time to get familiar with doing this. On the other hand it would feel irresponsible as a dom to dive her into anything more right off the bat.

Do I need to ramp up the first session now that we've anticipated it for months? I'd hate for it to be underwhelming.

One Pivot
Chair Bound
Posts: 67
Joined: 31 Aug 2016, 01:05

Re: Overhyped the First Session?

Unread post by One Pivot »

I think you both need to reset expectations.

It's not going to be the best scene of your life. It's not supposed to be though.

Be ready to accept if she doesn't like it before the first tie even happens. Be ready to go if she loves it and wants much more than planned. The first few goes are all about sorting out what you both want.

Start slow and just roll with it.
See my handmade leather bondage gear here! https://www.etsy.com/shop/leatherbyonepivot

One Pivot
Chair Bound
Posts: 67
Joined: 31 Aug 2016, 01:05

Re: Overhyped the First Session?

Unread post by One Pivot »

Also, as a Dom as well, try not to worry about your performance. We're all human and I've blown my own scene too! But once it starts, take your roll as the dominant. What you say goes, how it goes is as you direct it! It is fundamentally all roll playing, with safe words in place. Negotiation should occur before hand to establish limits, but it's in your hands once you start. This is part of the beauty of dominance and submission.

Afterwards, you can talk over the scene and discuss what worked, and what didn't and adjust for next time. Her suggestions become your commands, etc.


Have fun! She'll vibe off your vibe, and playing the role makes it enjoyable for everyone.
See my handmade leather bondage gear here! https://www.etsy.com/shop/leatherbyonepivot

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