>it could be a set up for a rape charge.
[The quote above comes from another thread I initiated but I've moved
it to this new thread as it is a different topic which deserves its
That is a very pertinent comment.
In this case I have absolute confidence that is not the situation but
you raise the valid point that much of what we do is an anathema to
the majority of society and if things go wrong could see we Dominant
people in prison!
Our first safeguard must be SSC.
I don't know if this abbreviation is still in common use in the BDSM
scene (because I have nothing to do with "The Scene" these days) but
it means "Safe, Sane and Consensual" and we should *always* ensure
what we do meets those criteria otherwise your partner has a valid
reason to complain and *you* shouldn't be doing BDSM at all.
Let's not beat around the bush:
The problem of contested BDSM "abuse" and consent will generally
arise at the time of a marriage (relationship) breakup and will be an
accusation from the female that her (Dominant) male partner abused
her. Such tactics are usually used in an attempt to gain financial or
child care advantage or simply as vengeance - maybe all three - anger
can be a terrifyingly powerful emotion.
In the event she has evidence of BDSM activity it is an *extremely*
persuasive argument and only marginally less so if she does not have
evidence, a tearful woman relating how he chained her up naked and
whipped her is an emotive sight.
As a counter to this Dominants should ensure they obtain usable
evidence of consent. Exactly what nature this may be depends upon
many factors but e-mails, recorded phone calls and video spring to
mind. I can hear the gasps from here
I suggest Dominants gather appropriate evidence and if it is never
needed so much the better and they may destroy it at an appropriate
time and no one is the wiser.
Deceit Yes, it is. But it is a benign deceit. We must protect
ourselves from an event which, if it happens, we will have no defence
I am old. I have witnessed much in my life. I have seen people do
things I *never* thought they could... let alone would. I now
believe, irrespective of kith and kin, we are alone in this world and
must protect ourselves as best we can. An interesting philosophical
discussion, for another time perhaps.
A quotation which has stood the test of over 300 years:
"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like
a woman scorned".
William Congreve (1670 – 1729). From his play - The Mourning Bride