An interesting post.
It would be interesting to know your approximate age as I think we
see life very differently when we are 25 to when we are 55.
*Three* men at one time (the same time?) you greedy little minx
And, yes, I bet it is fun. More seriously, tread carefully because
you now have a very complex dynamic involving four people and three
male egos. Reversing the situation, I find one woman at a time quite
enough to cope with!
I would not draw a significant distinction between a [female]
submissive and a sexual submissive. I suspect most (all?) submissives
would also like to be sexually submissive to the man of their choice.
Your desire to be punished is not unusual and may well have roots in
unresolved childhood stuff, you could probably sort it out in therapy
but is it worth it? If you enjoy being punished then go for it and
turn a hang-up into a positive and, I'm sure, in the fullness of time
you will work it out in your own way. We did manage to function as
individuals before psychiatrists were invented and when therapy was a
chat with your best mate.
>Is this what sexual exploration is all about? Finding out what you
>truly want and desire after the exploration, with future partners?
In order to have good BDSM sex we need to get to know our partner;
how to communicate with them and how to respond to them, this takes
time and effort.
From my perspective, as a male dominant, BDSM sex has been
significantly different with each woman I have known and each of
those women have brought out a slightly different aspect of my BDSM
needs and, indeed, helped me develop and extend those needs.
>I’ve been learning in my exploration a lot about myself.
Good. I consider BDSM is often therapy by another method.
>sometimes once I have a little kink, I just want more and more.
It is hard, perhaps impossible, to put the genie back into the
>is a good idea for someone such as me to be on fetlife?
>I also felt very persuaded, and pushed into the community.
I suggest you exercise considerable caution in regard to "the BDSM
community". I was a part of it 20 years ago and for some years
afterwards - I no longer am. Once the internet really took off, and
BDSM became a fashion statement for many, the "community" (a misnomer
if ever there was one) became a place to prey on others. In
particular many vanilla (and sometimes warped) men realised that if
they dressed up in black leather and strutted around with a riding
crop they could get kinky sex with naive women. Invariably it was the
women who were hurt often both physically and emotionally.
In a nutshell I suppose; you wouldn't let some stranger off the
pavement tie you to a post and whip you so why would you let some
stranger in a club do the same or, far worse, let him take you home
and do it? Common sense and maturity are essential if one is going to
play these games.
>I think perhaps it is not for women who are into light kink such as
I think you are correct. Tread carefully.
It takes time for people to discover and come to terms with their
BDSM needs. I met my current submissive three years ago when she had
no previous experience of anything but vanilla sex; it is only now
that her real desire (similar to yours as it happens) to be punished
is coming to the fore. It has taken her three years to acknowledge
this need within herself and to have the confidence in me needed for
her to make this exposure - that's no small thing.
A consequence of her need for punishment is that it has enabled me to
become more aggressive in out play. I tend to be a carer rather than
an aggressor but knowing her need has given me internal permission to
allow the bastard within to come closer to the surface - something I
actually enjoy I have discovered. Perhaps that "carer" thing was a
cover? We are complex creatures
To end: Do not less anyone push you around - it's your body, your
mind and your choice.