Nervous about bondage with someone

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Nervous about bondage with someone

Unread postby therealme28 » Sun Dec 18, 2016 11:12 pm

OK, so I am going to get spanked by a man that I've been with a few times. We have known each other for a year and a couple of months. I would really prefer him to tie my hands while spanking me. I'm still a little nervous!

When do you know it is too soon to try bondage with someone? Is a nervous feeling normal usually?
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Re: Nervous about bondage with someone

Unread postby Franzia » Mon Dec 19, 2016 4:23 pm

Obviously it could be a mistake to allow a stranger to tie you. It's normal to be a little nervous and cautious, but since you've known him for over a year now, it should be ok. Hopefully he will understand your nervousness and not attempt anything more strict than a loose wrist tie.
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Re: Nervous about bondage with someone

Unread postby Hertoy » Mon Dec 19, 2016 11:14 pm

Trust is an important element of BD/SM, it takes time to build trust in a partner and fully understand each other. I've been with my current partner for 22 years and she reads me like a book. Sexually oriented, erotic pain has been a good part of our relationship and she had to gentle me along for a bit when we first met and now I know she will never injure me intentionally.

There's a big difference between erotic pain play and actually injuring someone.
Mistress ! No ! Please ! Don't ! Stop !
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Re: Nervous about bondage with someone

Unread postby Stahlketten » Tue Dec 20, 2016 6:36 pm

You need to figure out why you are nervous.

Is it because you wonder how he will react to you wanting to be tied?
Is it because you don't trust him to tie you up?

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Re: Nervous about bondage with someone

Unread postby Cd Tammy » Wed Dec 21, 2016 4:52 pm

Is there a place where you can have a bondage spanking experience but not be alone? In Atlanta we have a place called Club 1763. There are monitors that keep scenes from going beyond the limits.
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Re: Nervous about bondage with someone

Unread postby pamelacd » Thu Dec 22, 2016 7:11 am

See my comment on your posting re types of paddles.
Trust is the ultimate thing. Once you are tied up, you are easily gagged and therefore silenced and you LOSE ANY CONTROL OVER YOUR DESTINY.

Be careful, there are too many sick wierdos out there that appear to be pillars of virtue.

We all know what Priests and Nuns do with little girls and boys !
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Re: Nervous about bondage with someone

Unread postby SergioUK » Sat Dec 24, 2016 2:05 pm

Leave the details like time, place and name with a trusted friend with instructions to call police if you don't get in touch by a certain time. You don't have to explain why - maybe say it's a date with someone you met online. Put the details in a sealed envelope if you prefer. Tell him that you're expected to check in afterwards, and if you're concerned that he might force you to make that call then pre-arrange to meet the friend for a drink after on the grounds that you want to make sure you don't stay the night on a first date.

Discuss a safeword with him obviously but perhaps show some pictures online of what you think you can handle and what's going too far.
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Re: Nervous about bondage with someone

Unread postby therealme28 » Sat Dec 24, 2016 8:00 pm

Just to let everyone know, I didn't go through with this. Thanks for the advice.
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