Nervous about bondage with someone

Dom/me, sub, swtich or undecided? Bring your kinky ideas in here!
therealme28
Unfettered Newbie
Posts: 14
Joined: 16 Dec 2016, 18:40

Nervous about bondage with someone

Unread post by therealme28 »

OK, so I am going to get spanked by a man that I've been with a few times. We have known each other for a year and a couple of months. I would really prefer him to tie my hands while spanking me. I'm still a little nervous!

When do you know it is too soon to try bondage with someone? Is a nervous feeling normal usually?

User avatar
Franzia
Hopelessly Suspended
Posts: 1337
Joined: 28 Oct 2005, 17:21
Location: United States

Re: Nervous about bondage with someone

Unread post by Franzia »

Obviously it could be a mistake to allow a stranger to tie you. It's normal to be a little nervous and cautious, but since you've known him for over a year now, it should be ok. Hopefully he will understand your nervousness and not attempt anything more strict than a loose wrist tie.

Hertoy
Chair Bound
Posts: 51
Joined: 03 Dec 2015, 19:11
Location: Keeling in front of Her

Re: Nervous about bondage with someone

Unread post by Hertoy »

Trust is an important element of BD/SM, it takes time to build trust in a partner and fully understand each other. I've been with my current partner for 22 years and she reads me like a book. Sexually oriented, erotic pain has been a good part of our relationship and she had to gentle me along for a bit when we first met and now I know she will never injure me intentionally.

There's a big difference between erotic pain play and actually injuring someone.
Mistress ! No ! Please ! Don't ! Stop !

Stahlketten
Strict Strappado
Posts: 672
Joined: 19 Jun 2012, 04:12

Re: Nervous about bondage with someone

Unread post by Stahlketten »

You need to figure out why you are nervous.

Is it because you wonder how he will react to you wanting to be tied?
Is it because you don't trust him to tie you up?

- Stahlketten

User avatar
Cd Tammy
Tightly Hogtied
Posts: 173
Joined: 31 May 2007, 11:57

Re: Nervous about bondage with someone

Unread post by Cd Tammy »

Is there a place where you can have a bondage spanking experience but not be alone? In Atlanta we have a place called Club 1763. There are monitors that keep scenes from going beyond the limits.

pamelacd
Unfettered Newbie
Posts: 35
Joined: 31 Oct 2011, 07:47
Location: New Zealand

Re: Nervous about bondage with someone

Unread post by pamelacd »

See my comment on your posting re types of paddles.
Trust is the ultimate thing. Once you are tied up, you are easily gagged and therefore silenced and you LOSE ANY CONTROL OVER YOUR DESTINY.

Be careful, there are too many sick wierdos out there that appear to be pillars of virtue.

We all know what Priests and Nuns do with little girls and boys !

SergioUK
Tightly Hogtied
Posts: 124
Joined: 04 Mar 2014, 19:03
Location: London, UK

Re: Nervous about bondage with someone

Unread post by SergioUK »

Leave the details like time, place and name with a trusted friend with instructions to call police if you don't get in touch by a certain time. You don't have to explain why - maybe say it's a date with someone you met online. Put the details in a sealed envelope if you prefer. Tell him that you're expected to check in afterwards, and if you're concerned that he might force you to make that call then pre-arrange to meet the friend for a drink after on the grounds that you want to make sure you don't stay the night on a first date.

Discuss a safeword with him obviously but perhaps show some pictures online of what you think you can handle and what's going too far.

therealme28
Unfettered Newbie
Posts: 14
Joined: 16 Dec 2016, 18:40

Re: Nervous about bondage with someone

Unread post by therealme28 »

Just to let everyone know, I didn't go through with this. Thanks for the advice.

Post Reply