Finding the Newbies Every Time?

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Finding the Newbies Every Time?

Unread postby napy666 » Fri Mar 17, 2017 6:34 pm

Have you ever found yourself, with someone that's new to the whole bondage thing, and you always have to teach them what you like and how to tie or gag you, the right way and what you want and like done to you? But having yourself always finding someone that's new and can never find someone that's just like you? This is what happened to me, with my bondage partners, in my past serious relationships, I would always get guys who were new to it, they liked it, but then got bored with it, after doing the same thing after a while. I don't want a repeat of that. I want to find someone that likes the same things as I do but it is hard. Esp. harder me being a virgin, saving myself for marriage and most bondage folk, wanting sex every second, minute, and hour of the day haha. Not sure what to do here, what would you do?
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Re: Finding the Newbies Every Time?

Unread postby RAE123 » Fri Mar 17, 2017 9:03 pm

I wish you where in Illinois; I would show you some real good
bondage, the type where there is no getting out of.
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Re: Finding the Newbies Every Time?

Unread postby napy666 » Fri Mar 24, 2017 5:54 pm

Haha you wish.
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Re: Finding the Newbies Every Time?

Unread postby Stahlketten » Wed Mar 29, 2017 2:25 am

Napy666, The bigger problem here is that among BDSM enthusiasts, the submissive male is by far the most common critter.
If you were a dominant female interested in restraining your partner for erotic games or even for simple bondage, you would have no lack of volunteers.

RAE123, Restraining someone in an escape proof way is really quite easy. Padlocks and chains are about as simple as it gets and $30 at the hardware store and dollar store are enough to do a pretty secure job.
Making it attractive and comfortable, artistic and interesting are a lot more difficult and I am still working on those aspects.
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Re: Finding the Newbies Every Time?

Unread postby napy666 » Wed Mar 29, 2017 6:21 pm

But I am not interested in being dom. I want to be sub and the partner whoever that may be to be dom.
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Re: Finding the Newbies Every Time?

Unread postby Franzia » Wed Mar 29, 2017 6:31 pm

napy666 wrote:Haha you wish.

Don't laugh. ;) Rae meant well but might not be ideal due to location or possibly age (same as me), but it is a start! If you've tried all other roads without success, you've nothing to lose by being more active and visible on this forum. There must be some other topics that perk your interest. While it's true there are mostly submissive males here, there are also some dominants, tops and switches. So there is a chance, even if remote, that there is a Californian here who meets your needs.

You seem to like roleplaying, but it's unfortunate there are no active roleplaying topics right now like years ago. They can be difficult to start though, as the best ones always seemed to spring up spontaneously.
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Re: Finding the Newbies Every Time?

Unread postby Stahlketten » Thu Mar 30, 2017 4:25 am

napy666 wrote:But I am not interested in being dom. I want to be sub and the partner whoever that may be to be dom.


The point I was trying to make was that the number of active users here is probably too low to find a good match especially since most of the people here are probably submissive males.
You MIGHT find a good discussion with like minded people though.
Geographically, we are all over the world so the likelihood of first finding a good match is pretty low if you are very particular about your wants but even IF you do find someone here, there is little chance they will be in a nearby location.
It is possible, but just not likely even for someone who has more mainstream interests. Who knows, you might get lucky.

Something in your past relationships is definitely not going right if your partner initially has some interest but gets bored and doesn't want to play any more. You might want to consider what is in it for them and what they would get out of the scene.

Be nice to RAE123. I believe his "wish" was driven by sympathy and wanting to help. He seems to be that kind of person.
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Re: Finding the Newbies Every Time?

Unread postby tiemeupalso » Thu Mar 30, 2017 5:17 pm

i would love to but you couldnt pay me to move to california
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Re: Finding the Newbies Every Time?

Unread postby napy666 » Mon Apr 03, 2017 8:18 pm

Stahlketten wrote:
napy666 wrote:But I am not interested in being dom. I want to be sub and the partner whoever that may be to be dom.


The point I was trying to make was that the number of active users here is probably too low to find a good match especially since most of the people here are probably submissive males.
You MIGHT find a good discussion with like minded people though.
Geographically, we are all over the world so the likelihood of first finding a good match is pretty low if you are very particular about your wants but even IF you do find someone here, there is little chance they will be in a nearby location.
It is possible, but just not likely even for someone who has more mainstream interests. Who knows, you might get lucky.

Something in your past relationships is definitely not going right if your partner initially has some interest but gets bored and doesn't want to play any more. You might want to consider what is in it for them and what they would get out of the scene.

Be nice to RAE123. I believe his "wish" was driven by sympathy and wanting to help. He seems to be that kind of person.


Because all the guys I did do bondage with, they wanted more they wanted sexual intercourse and since I didn't give in to them and won;t until I am married, they got mad or upset so yeah.
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Re: Finding the Newbies Every Time?

Unread postby Cd Tammy » Mon Apr 17, 2017 4:23 pm

For me, it's not about sex. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy sex but the bondage experience is control, trust, denial, helplessness. One of the best bondage weekends that I ever had, I never got to orgasm! Not the whole weekend. She controlled me, kept me dressed and secured the whole time. My ass got paddled, I was forced to do chores. I had to pleasure her orally. There was more punishment. I spent the nights in uncomfortable positions.

Another time, I was a dominate with a younger girl. A hard limit was no sexual intercourse. She was getting married in a couple months, and like you wanted to remain a virgin. It was actually more intense bondage not having sex involved. I only wished that I had met her earlier because that time before her wedding went by way too fast. The night before her wedding, I met her in her hotel room. She was in her white stockings, and teddy that I can only assume she planned to wear on her honeymoon. She didn't sleep a wink that night. Spent the whole time secured in uncomfortable positions and had a vibrator rubbing certain places. She also had a few bright red spots from my paddle on that ass.
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Re: Finding the Newbies Every Time?

Unread postby napy666 » Tue Apr 18, 2017 1:41 am

Uh okay. Well that sounded interesting I guess. Too bad nothing like that happens on my end but maybe soon. I don't know.
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Re: Finding the Newbies Every Time?

Unread postby NYdamsellover » Wed Apr 26, 2017 1:50 pm

Mostly new but two experienced...
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Re: Finding the Newbies Every Time?

Unread postby napy666 » Thu Apr 27, 2017 3:28 am

Uh okay then.
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Re: Finding the Newbies Every Time?

Unread postby saltypepper128 » Fri Sep 01, 2017 11:31 pm

Apologies in advance, its going to get a little mathy in here for a bit

napy666 wrote:Have you ever found yourself, with someone that's new to the whole bondage thing, and you always have to teach them what you like and how to tie or gag you, the right way and what you want and like done to you? But having yourself always finding someone that's new and can never find someone that's just like you?


I'm not trying to assume anything here but If you're like me or most of the other people on this forum, its easy to forget that this is a fetish, or niche if you will. Granted, since the 50 shades series came out, its become much more mainstream, but its still a niche. From what you've said, what you want is very specific. Knows how to tie you up very well AND does it for the love of tying you up, not just doing it for you or for sex. The experienced rope player pool, as you're already aware could hardly be considered large. Now we have to venn diagram that with the dudes that are attractive to you AND you have to are attracted to. I'm not sure where you were at with the SM part of BDSM but a big portion of players consider that important to their play so if not, your pool shrinks even more. I don't know what your dating pool is like but that first one will signficantly shrink your pool. Then you have the obvious one of clicking, chemistry, job, blah blah blah. Your pool is seriously hamstrung by this point.

napy666 wrote:Esp. harder me being a virgin, saving myself for marriage and most bondage folk, wanting sex every second, minute, and hour of the day haha


Lol, you realllyyyy want to make this hard for yourself don't you

napy666 wrote:This is what happened to me, with my bondage partners, in my past serious relationships, I would always get guys who were new to it, they liked it, but then got bored with it, after doing the same thing after a while.


Maybe start looking outside of the relationship for your bondage fix and consider it more of a hobby. You get your jollies from being tied up, not the sexy time while tied up so why categorize it into a sexual practice and make it harder for yourself. I don't know what you look like but I would imagine people are more willing to play tie up games with no sexual context if there's no big commitment involved. Just make it into something that you do with your friends. If you don't have friends who want to tie you up, go make some

napy666 wrote:I don't want a repeat of that. I want to find someone that likes the same things as I do but it is hard.


Finding love ain't easy dude. Play the game the way it is, figure out a way to reinvent it, or die alone. Sorry bud

napy666 wrote:Not sure what to do here, what would you do?


Obviously send nudes to this handsome young fellow who just dropped some 3000th level knowledge on your ass
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Re: Finding the Newbies Every Time?

Unread postby napy666 » Sun Sep 10, 2017 5:53 pm

I am just looking for online bondage friends, to role play with online. Nothing in person.
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