Bdsm tips for a submissive woman

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Bdsm tips for a submissive woman

Unread postby DianeGrichtol » Thu Jul 02, 2020 3:15 pm

I am a beginner Submissive woman. I am curious to receive a reply from experienced in BDSM culture.

Before the session, how to determine for Submissive the permissible degree of blows? Is it acceptable that the Dominant is tried the bondage kits on himself - this will give him minimal knowledge about the strength of the effect of this device on the skin?
I heard the opinion that the status of the Dominant does not allow him to try devices on himself, along with the belief that such testing automatically puts a masochist label.
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Re: Bdsm tips for a submissive woman

Unread postby Stahlketten » Fri Jul 03, 2020 2:13 am

My opinion is that any time someone uses a toy that will cause pain to the sub, they need to have an idea of how much it will hurt. It doesn't have to be a test in the context of a scene, but to not know is pretty negligent.
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Re: Bdsm tips for a submissive woman

Unread postby passioncraftstore » Fri Oct 02, 2020 5:56 pm

The dominant is obliged to test all devices and devices on himself so as not to injure the submissive. This is the law.
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Re: Bdsm tips for a submissive woman

Unread postby Tesgri » Fri Oct 02, 2020 7:22 pm

To echo previous posts, and to agree with them, any time I've been called to top someone (the problem with being a sub but also being the only one who knows rope in my circle of friends) I try to make sure I use ties I've been in before. My wife/domme is the same, anything from floggers or paddles to clamps or gags she's used on herself as well.

Furthermore, to help address your other questions, how much you want to be flogged/paddled/spanked/etc is up to how you feel that day or that scene. There is no set amount and there should be no expectation between partners that "you took 10 last time you can take 10 today". Yes there are dynamics that can work like that, those that set up a scale for punishments or some such and it could be argued that in those cases it's irrelevant if the sub feels up to that much because they knew the punishment and broke the rules regardless. But for me, and those I know, comfort fluctuates and what may be enjoyable now may be real torture later if they're already dealing with a tough day/time.

Is it acceptable for a dom to try bondage on themselves? Yes, rather encouraged as stated above. Now this is not to say that they can't or shouldn't experiment with their sub first such as more complete forms of restraint/bondage. But first they should know what the cuffs feel like, or the rope, so that if in a more complicated configuration the sub genuinely complains (cause some of us like to be brats) they'll be able to understand that much better why it hurt and avoid it in the future.

Lastly masochism is a desire, from my knowledge and opinion, and to me that means that testing a flogger etc on yourself does not make you a masochist any more so than hurting someone makes you sadist. Both titles predicate desire and choices to adopt them. Only you, or your dom/me, can label yourselves.
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Re: Bdsm tips for a submissive woman

Unread postby dsteve » Fri Oct 09, 2020 5:05 pm

Best way to learn to top is to try out the bottom role.
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