How to deal with frustration?

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Andino
Unfettered Newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: 15 Jan 2021, 03:09

How to deal with frustration?

Unread post by Andino »

Sorry my bad english, it's not my fisrt language.
I'm married, and my wife doesn't like bondage. I've tried, she smiles, she bounds me one or two times (very badly!), and she

doesn't like to make me suffer.
I love her, and I think that I will never taste the feelings that i dream all my life.
How to deal with this situation? Any thinkings, sugestions?
Thanks for sharing ideas!

lotharj
Chair Bound
Posts: 85
Joined: 03 Jul 2009, 14:21

Re: How to deal with frustration?

Unread post by lotharj »

This happened in my first relationship and thought a long time about my mistakes there.

My advice:
You need to have a good talk with your partner. Ask them about the most exciting thing they like to do and tell them it is the same excitement for you to be tied. Help them do their exciting things and in turn hopefully they will do yours as well.

If not then there are two options. 1) get medical help. From my experience SSRI pills can help relieve anxiety associated with compulsiveness from fetish. 2) Find a new partner.

I choose option 2 but believe option 1 would have worked as well if I wasn't so stubborn to see a doctor back then.

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dsteve
Tightly Hogtied
Posts: 116
Joined: 27 May 2016, 20:50
Location: Colorado, USA

Re: How to deal with frustration?

Unread post by dsteve »

hello Andino,
First, don't worry about language. I personally know how hard it is to work in a second language. I envy those who learn languages easily.
Second, I don't have any perfect solution. I can only tell you that you are not alone. I would love to have a relationship with a serious Domme. Several of my girl friends have been "playful" at tying and dominating, but, like your wife, expressed an unwillingness to hurt me. Also, none of them could be (or were willing to be) seriously dominant.
I wish I had an answer for you.
dSteve

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Natyropes
Tightly Hogtied
Posts: 136
Joined: 19 Jun 2020, 20:43
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Re: How to deal with frustration?

Unread post by Natyropes »

Andino wrote:Sorry my bad english, it's not my fisrt language.
I'm married, and my wife doesn't like bondage. I've tried, she smiles, she bounds me one or two times (very badly!), and she

doesn't like to make me suffer.
I love her, and I think that I will never taste the feelings that i dream all my life.
How to deal with this situation? Any thinkings, sugestions?
Thanks for sharing ideas!
I think we've all been through a similar situation for one reason or another. It's too bad you had to go through this too, but if you look at it from her point of view, you'll come to the conclusion that it's okay. She also has her tastes and her wishes must also be taken into account. If you explain to her patiently and without being annoying about it, you will surely come to some kind of negotiation about it. If you speak Spanish and want to talk about it you can write me a message. ;)

Andino
Unfettered Newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: 15 Jan 2021, 03:09

Re: How to deal with frustration?

Unread post by Andino »

Hello, friends,
sorry for the delay to response.
For some reason, I was crazy with desires last month ( - and it was also very difficult to write here!).
I would like to thank you VERY VERY MUCH for the words. Really, something has changed.
After read your responses, I take a long breath, and talked again with my wife.
I also read a lot of posts here, and have a few ideas.
I bought some ropes and duct tape, and said to her that will prepare a surprise.
I wrote a very hot text (a text that I probably never had courage to say directly to her), gagged, blinded, and self-tied to bed (with help of two padlocks). I depended on her will to be free.
The text said also that she could make anything she wants.
When she leaves the bath, she finds me and assumes the play, and it was better than the other times in the past. Not really my dreams, but it's a start.
(I wrote to her that she could force me to make she cum how many times she wants, or that she could have a drink, or to leave me bounded for a long time).
She was a good girl, and tried to make me suffer, but for short times.
Thanks lotharj, dsteve and Natyropes!
(Natyropes, my first language is portuguese, thank you, we can share messages if where appropriate. I can write badly in german, italian and more badly in french, but spanish is very difficult although the similarity with portuguese, but I can try)
I hope you are well!
Regards
Andino

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Natyropes
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Posts: 136
Joined: 19 Jun 2020, 20:43
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Re: How to deal with frustration?

Unread post by Natyropes »

O meu português também é mau. Que pena. Mas fiquei muito feliz por saber que encontrou uma solução para a sua situação. Espero que tudo corra bem para si e para a sua esposa. :D

Lembrese de não abusar da bondage com ela. ;)

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