Dangerous fantasies

[buildingmaint]

I found this on a BDSM personals site. I think this sounds dangerous .unexpected 'napping within an agreed window of opportunity (you will have my daily schedule) followed by incarceration of up to nine days during which I am at your complete disposal and forced into whatever activities you can devise. There are to be NO LIMITS on my part and for that reason I have not completed the checklists here. My likes and dislikes do not count. I say that on the understanding death or permanent maiming as not on your list.Overlaying this is strong documented protection for you (details to be provided) including a series of photographs which will indicate my "consent". All expenses will be met.This at first sounds very exciting,but if you think about it a while , you are leaving yourself very vulnerable to the whims of someone you don't really know.    

[Darkraptor1]

Indeed.  I wouldn't put up such an offer, nor would I accept it.

[roboman]

Just from being alive, there is the danger that you will die. Most of the time crossing the street involves more danger then staying on the side walk. You have to balance what you want in life with the risks. I've met a number of people who feel submitting is submitting and putting restrictions on the submission is not submitting. That's what does it for them.

[RGbargy]

One way trip to the cemetry or at best the hospital - there are enough kooks out there who'd eat you for breakfast given half a chance - and an invite?.........Keep it safe - stick to the rules. Without rues you have anarchyR G Bargy 

[tiedrubberdoll]

Sounds dangerous to me, but some people get their kicks from that.  I'm not gonna stop him. But I wouldn't do something like that myself.I guess this person hasn't really thought about the risk he puts himself into. An add like that is just like a magnet for people with bad intentions.  [quote]Just from being alive, there is the danger that you will die. Most of the time crossing the street involves more danger then staying on the side walk. You have to balance what you want in life with the risks. [/quote]
Sorry to say so Roboman, but that doesn't sound like a valid argument. I've heard it dozens of times. Indeed, crossing the street is always more risky than staying on the side walk, but when you cross the street, you take a calculated risk. You look to your left and to your right, and when you estimate that it is safe to cross, you cross the street. Almost all adult human beings can make a pretty accurate risk estimate when crossing a street. The person who placed that add, pretty much gives a complete carte blanche to anyone who responds to the add. How the hell can you estimate what risk you are into when you do a thing like that.

[pleasewrap]

[quote="roboman"]Just from being alive, there is the danger that you will die. Most of the time crossing the street involves more danger then staying on the side walk.[/quote]This is direct, but not intended offensively - Where did you get this particular piece of information?  It's horridly, horridly inaccurate and downplays the importance in understanding risk and how it arises in our daily lives.  This is similar to saying "You've more risk in breathing than holding your breath since the former could expose you to pollution."  But it's not really true.[quote]You have to balance what you want in life with the risks. I've met a number of people who feel submitting is submitting and putting restrictions on the submission is not submitting. That's what does it for them. [/quote]And if that works for them, then that's fine.  That does not minimize the fact that it can be very, very dangerous from both a physical and emotional perspective.This will again sound judgemental, but is not intended to be so.  I usually worry a great deal about people I encounter who enjoy this type of "total submission."  That degree of giving up control concerns me, similar to the way that I was/am concerned about friends who have been/are involved in abusive relationships and couldn't/can't get out of them for one reason or another.  It is healthy to have wants and desires.  It is healthy to exert control over your situation and environment.  I don't think it is healthy to be completely submissive all the time.Now, that's the opinion of someone that has never been involved with such a relationship or actually personally known anyone that was in one.  I will grant that given the right bond between partners, it could absolutely be a healthy expression of their love.  But very frequently, the stores I hear about these relationships tend to involve more than one partner, or a partner that "passes around" the submissive, or other behavior that strikes me as more abusive than loving.  And that's when I get concerned.  Our fetishes should not drive us into situations where we cannot say "no" or into relationships where saying "no" will not be respected.  Regardless of the desires that caused the relationship to form, the sub is still a human and should be respected and treated as such at any moment that they decide to demand it.

[roboman]

[quote="tiedrubberdoll"]
The person who placed that add, pretty much gives a complete carte blanche to anyone who responds to the add. How the hell can you estimate what risk you are into when you do a thing like that.[/quote] The person who placed the ad did exclude "death or permanent maiming". How the hell can you estimate what risks you are getting into the first time you are in private with some one and let them gag and cuff you? (answer you talk with them and hope you know them enough to trust them) From the little bit of the ad posted here, it looks like the person at least knows what they think they want. They are willing to risk 9 days of their life, and the hope that the other person sticks with the agreed on no death or permanent maiming, to find out. It does sound less safe then crossing the street, getting in a "normal" relationship, going to a kinky club or placing a less open sort of ad, but it also seems clear that it's the fantasy this person is seeking out and the risk is part of that sort of fantasy. Not my cup of tea and it's not that safe, but diving with sharks or driving a race car aren't either (for those who don't like the crossing the side walk bit

[jackstrapped]

I personally think anyone who anonymously 'fishes' in this manner is just looking for replies such as the ones here...

[feline]

in one sense this is just the familiar "i have no limits" discussion all over again it is easy to claim that you have "no limits", but in reality i suspect that you would have very serious mental health issues if this was really true.pleasewrap the comment about crossing the road vs staying on the sidewalk is probably full of those famous "implicit assumptions".  i remember doing a software design course that started by explianing that "implicit assumptions" were the ones you make without realising you were making them, e.g. "the computer has a keyboard".people make them, rarely question them, and often they are correct, so you can get away with them, but they are still assumptions, and as such can be wrong.going back to the origional request to be kidnapped, personally i would RUN, not walk, away from anyone who seriously posed such an offer, and on reflection from anyone who would take them up on it.according to the terms you could argue that all over body tattooing was allowed, even the face.  that is just one example of a probable limit they did not realise they had.

[tiemeupalso]

there is one probability that no one has mentioned yet.this persom may have been diagnosed with a fatal illness that has gone past any treatment stage thus his death is soon coming and he knows it.i myself might want to do something in that situation that i wouldnt normally do.taking the last days of your life,and living out your most unrealistic fantisy isnt a bad way to spend the last few days of your life.

[RGbargy]

[quote="tiemeupalso"]there is one probability that no one has mentioned yet.this persom may have been diagnosed with a fatal illness that has gone past any treatment stage thus his death is soon coming and he knows it.i myself might want to do something in that situation that i wouldnt normally do.taking the last days of your life,and living out your most unrealistic fantisy isnt a bad way to spend the last few days of your life.[/quote] clutching at straws!You can justify anything if you try hard enough.Limits are for the dom as well as the sub - you need to know how far you can go - to use the crossing the street analogy - you would not want to be the driver who hits the jay walker - not your fault? - you still have to live with killing someone! - similarly no dom wants to live with the thought that they went too far. (Unless they are a real sadist)R G Bargy

[feline]

terminal illness, certainly this is clutching at straws, butit is *just* possible.  still, even if it was true, this would not removeresponsibility from the dom's shoulders for their actions, or the consequencesof those actions.plus, what are the odds?  i dont know, but my gut instinct is that thepeople behind most such requests are quite healthy, and are just consumed withtheir fantasy, and have not really thought through the possible consequences oftheir request.never underestimate the powers of human stupidity, or a refusal to listen tosensible advice *shrug*

[buildingmaint]

Not that it matters but this person was female, and said nothing about having a life threatening illness.

[tiemeupalso]

[quote="feline"] terminal illness, certainly this is clutching at straws, but it is *just* possible.  still, even if it was true, this would not remove responsibility from the dom's shoulders for their actions, or the consequences of those actions.plus, what are the odds?  i dont know, but my gut instinct is that the people behind most such requests are quite healthy, and are just consumed with their fantasy, and have not really thought through the possible consequences of their request.never underestimate the powers of human stupidity, or a refusal to listen to sensible advice *shrug*[/quote] i agree with you feline,i just threw that out.whoever put that up has no idea about what some people are capable of and thus i suspect it was a young person(before i get slammed here im not saying all young people are stupid) and yes the Dom is going to have to live with whatever he has done.i just hope if someone does answer that ad that it is someone that will not abuse the situation but just go far enough to teach her a lesson in reality.