I need a little bit of help
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- Chair Bound
- Posts: 67
- Joined: 24 Oct 2005, 13:31
- Location: Ireland
RE: I need a little bit of help
This friday I am going to a masters "house" that lives 3 hours awayfrom my own house. I have been chatting with him via phone email textmessages ect and he is looking at aquiring me as a full time servant inhis home. He lives alone and is partly looking for a companion. Hewants to meet me for a few occasions before deciding on wether or nothe would like to collar me.He is looking for a "no limits person or someone who was very looselimits, open to try anything once" ... this kind of worries me but atthe same time im excited. He has also told me that he does not want anybullshit petty talk when we first meet at his home he wants to getstraight down to evaluating me. Again im worried and excited.I have been looking for a master for years and it finally seems like heis the one, I have no intrests in mistress's but I am bi. Mistress's donothing for me. Here is my question, should I follow my gut instinctand go check it out or do I just pretend like he does not exist?Thanks for any help
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- Tightly Hogtied
- Posts: 316
- Joined: 28 Oct 2005, 16:32
- Location: Belgium
RE: I need a little bit of help
I would be very careful since you don't know this man in person. Maybe you should go, but don't forget to tell at least one person were you will be.
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- Chair Bound
- Posts: 67
- Joined: 24 Oct 2005, 13:31
- Location: Ireland
RE: I need a little bit of help
but I have never told anyone about my fetishes...
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- Unfettered Newbie
- Posts: 31
- Joined: 14 Oct 2005, 06:56
RE: I need a little bit of help
You need a safety net, even if it's just in your head. Can you trust this person a) on a very basic level not to hurt you? b) on a fetish level, not to push your limits without consent? c) not to 'out' you as a kinky person to others? If you can honestly answer that you are 100% confident you will be perfectly safe, then meet him, but do it in a public place. I know, I've done this, and as a not very strong female meeting a much stronger man I really had to make sure I would be safe. Put all your desires aside and consider if this is a sensible thing to do. What are your misgivings, and why? You'll answer your own question.I would always encourage people to take a leap, but only with appropriate safety gear. I have to say, though, I am very suspicious of people who are prepared to make strangers their 24/7 no-limits slave. What have they done to put off previous partners? Do they even care about the other person at all? If they do, they'll want to get to know you properly, not dismiss 'bullshit petty talk'. Or is it all about their own needs, in which case, how will you fulfil your needs?Be confident about what you want and go and get it, but don't kid yourself or settle for anything that's not right. The sub has to be in control in these situations.
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- Chair Bound
- Posts: 67
- Joined: 24 Oct 2005, 13:31
- Location: Ireland
RE: I need a little bit of help
suppose...
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- Chair Bound
- Posts: 67
- Joined: 24 Oct 2005, 13:31
- Location: Ireland
RE: I need a little bit of help
Im gonna notify my best mate..but I believe I have to do this..just once...
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- Hopelessly Suspended
- Posts: 1188
- Joined: 13 Oct 2005, 02:11
RE: I need a little bit of help
My advice? Be very, very cautious around this guy. You can get to know someone pretty well online, but meeting them in person is a different experience alltogether.I would recommend doing some warm up meetings where you chitchat, go shopping, go to the movies, etc. to try and get to know the man. See what he's like. See how he acts in normal, everyday life. If he is open and supportive, then stick with it. If he's dominating and wants to control you, get out.Above all, don't rush this. Take your time. If he protests, say that you're warming up. If he insists on going full force right away, I would be exceptionally cautious.Be careful!
RE: I need a little bit of help
I was trying to post some really insightfull advice for you, but then DarkRaptor said absolutely everything I was thinking. That said, just careful.
RE: I need a little bit of help
'No limits' is always a tricky phrase.
Everybody (well, virtually) has some limits, even if it's "Don't stick a knife in my neck"
Everybody (well, virtually) has some limits, even if it's "Don't stick a knife in my neck"
Angel
https://fetlife.com/users/32029
http://www.flickr.com/photos/angieb_nu/
https://fetlife.com/users/32029
http://www.flickr.com/photos/angieb_nu/
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- Chair Bound
- Posts: 67
- Joined: 24 Oct 2005, 13:31
- Location: Ireland
RE: I need a little bit of help
angel made me laugh out loud even if it wasnt a joke....Damn why are you guys so friggin supportitive...
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- Hopelessly Suspended
- Posts: 1333
- Joined: 13 Oct 2005, 15:24
- Location: Texas
- Contact:
RE: I need a little bit of help
if you have never met this guy in person DO NOT GO TO HIS HOUSE for the first meeting.that put you on his turf,gives him the home field advantage,and you with no place to run if something dont feel right.the phrase"no limits" and "wants to get right down to evaluating you"tells me this guy is trouble.he doesnt want to talk with you,get to know you,or (just my opinion here)even care what you need or want out of this relationship.i would say RUN unless hes willint to meet someplace else so you can evaluate him in a place where you can get up,walk away and not have to worry about him stabbing you in the back or being held against your will.
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- Hopelessly Suspended
- Posts: 1333
- Joined: 13 Oct 2005, 15:24
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RE: I need a little bit of help
P.S. think about it.......you must be having second thoughts about it or you wouldnt be in here asking us for our opinion.so listen to that little voice inside of you,pay attention to your gut instincts and everything i think will work out.
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- Chair Bound
- Posts: 74
- Joined: 18 Oct 2005, 16:47
- Location: United States
RE: I need a little bit of help
I agree with all the above. His desire to dispense with "any bullshit petty talk" and "get straight down to evaluating" sounds ominous to me. Petty bullshit is a good way to get to know someone. Getting straight to evaluating sounds like he wants to do a heavy scene straight away. We all take scary leaps sometimes but we do it with a safety net. This guy might be who he says he is, a very forceful dominant OR he might be an asshole looking for a piece of meat. Go with the advice above - meet in a public place first, take your time and walk away if it doesn't feel right. Believe it or not, there will be other opportunities. Good luck.
RE: I need a little bit of help
Meet in a public place first for chrissake! No limits? Yeah right....There are always limits.You've got to be in control, always. The fantasy of such a relationship could be way different to the reality. To me, either the sub is in control, or laws are being broken & lives put at risk.Just stand in front of the mirror, & ask yourself this- 'what's more important, my life & well-being, or my possible sexual satisfaction?'If this guy is genuine, & worth knowing, he'll respect your limits. Otherwise you might as well hogtie yourself naked in a back alley, in the seediest part of town, & wait for someone to find you!Incidentally, top marks for asking us 'intelligent/thoughtful/EXPERIENCED people!tojo- the worried.
RE: I need a little bit of help
This guy might be really inexperienced too. Putting forward a face that seems very dominant but not really knowing anything of the life. Just get him in a public place for a meeting a few times, If he wont meet you there, then you have your answer.
- gaggedutopia
- Site Admin
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- Location: New Hampshire, USA
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RE: I need a little bit of help
I think you will find a consensus among most members here that a publicplace meeting needs to happen and to have pre-established limits. Even if you assume he will have no intention of hurting you, thedefinition can change from person to person. You may think thathurting is when the pain is more then you can handle. He maythink that as long as you don't die, he's not hurting you.Assuming the worse case, don't forget the Jeffery Dalmeressentially lured young men to his apartment and once restrained with asimple pair of handcuffs, he took their life. Is this likely, no,not at all, but it makes you realize the trust you must have for thisperson before putting yourself in a compromising situation. Ifsomeone really thinks they are going to find an "out of the box slave"off the internet and "dispense with the BS" they either don't know whatthey are doing or hiding something. If he truly wants you as his submissive, what's the rush?
RE: I need a little bit of help
Yes- what's the rush indeed? Let us know how it goes, if you decide to do anything please? Don't just leave us hanging...tojo
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- Unfettered Newbie
- Posts: 7
- Joined: 20 Oct 2005, 08:56
- Location: United States
RE: I need a little bit of help
Let's see now. The largest erogenous zone is the mind and this guy seems to not be interested inthat. Hmmmmm.
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- Chair Bound
- Posts: 67
- Joined: 24 Oct 2005, 13:31
- Location: Ireland
RE: I need a little bit of help
I sorted it out and I did go meet with him ...worked some stuff out between us, and im staying in his house right now.But yeah, I was nervous but im pretty ok now...ill post more when I get home. Thanks for your help.