How I got into self electric pain play

Sometimes you just have to do things yourself.

RE: How I got into self electric pain play

Unread postby voltsjolts » Sat Oct 15, 2005 10:34 pm

WARNING, do not repeat any of the acts I describe here. They were
stupid and dangerous and could have resulted in serious injury or
death.  This is a true personal account of how I got involved
with BDSM and electric play as an ignorant person blind to the
potential deadliness of my homemade toys.  This story is not
encouragement to try anything it describes and I discourage
anyone from starting down this path.

I am a grown adult now but got into BDSM, electric play, and self
bondage on my own early in life with absolutely no influence from
anyone else.  Until posting this story to the net it has been a
complete and dark secret of mine.  It is a bad idea to say at
what exact age it all started but let's just say it was the
beginning of puberty.

The Experiment:

While playing with an instructional electronics kit there was a
mistake involving a relay and an audio transformer that generated
a square-wave ac signal.  Touching the transformer output by
accident produced a shock to the fingers.  The feeling
immediately captured my interest so I explored further by
touching two wires to various parts of my body.  Fortunately,
safety was a concern and there was a clear knowledge not to not
do anything stupid like connect a circuit across the heart. After
playing with feet, legs and butt cheeks the next thing was to try
sticking one wire up my ass and touching the other one just on
the outside.  With the contact area of single bare wires being so
small the sensation was instant pinpoint burning pain. That was
not fun right away but the potential was obvious that there had
to be something worth further investigation.

The first step in my exploration was to go from a mistake to a
serious electro shock circuit.  Using a simple relay interrupter
hooked up to pulse into a transformer worked fine.  The frequency
was too high at first and produced a tickle buzzy kind of
feeling.  Adding a capacitor across the relay slowed it down
some.  Playing with different values got the frequency reduced to
about 50HZ which caused the most powerful muscle contractions.
The overall sensation wasn't strong enough yet so further
modifications were needed to produce more output. More batteries
helped and the audio transformer was very small so that was
replaced with a larger one from a broken radio.  That made it all
too strong so it had to have a variable resistor added to adjust
the output intensity.

Next, it was time to build and test various electrodes to see
what they felt like.  Larger surface area contacts produced less
burning and more of a deep shock than small contacts.  Also, if
one electrode was large and the other was small then all of the
sensation of shock would come from the smaller side.  It was fun
to place a large foil contact on each butt cheek and cause
powerful contractions.  From internal anal experimentation, the
greatest sensitivity and muscle response was produced with the
electrode placed 1/2 to 1 inch inside.  This was determined after
positioning electrodes at various depths up to about 10 inches.
Placing an electrode deeper inside thinking it would give more
powerful sensations is not correct.  It didn't do much even with
full power, it just produced a weird sick nauseous ache inside
that made me nearly throw up.  That wasn't very fun and the risk
of damaging an internal organ seemed real so the deep stuff was
abandoned and play was restricted to the outer regions of the
anus.  Two circular electrodes running around the probe produced
pain but not much in the way of contractions.  Side-by-side
contacts running front to back along the probe caused a powerful
response.  Using the large transformer and touching the battery
to it manually for just one single shock pulse caused a
contraction hard enough to jerk the whole lower body around.

Seeds of Addiction:

It is hard to remember or describe exactly what I first liked
about doing this. The sensations were just so addictive.  It was
unexplainable but I just liked this specific kind of pain from
electricity and liked it best in my anus and nowhere else.  I
wanted more of it and could not be stopped.  My ass kept getting
used to the shock level and whatever hurt for a while would
eventual fade and become uninteresting.  This started a never
ending desire for a more and more powerful sensation.  The way to
get it was adding more batteries and an even bigger transformer.
The circuit was finally capable of an output level so high I
could not work up the raw nerve to willingly turn the resistor
all the way down.

Again, that became easy and boring after a while and new
dimensions were needed.  I wanted to feel out of control and push
my limits of pain so an off switch was hooked up to a wind-up
mechanical timer to produce a timed shock.  I would try to just
lay still and take it until the timer ran out but any level of
shock tolerable for starting out would eventually become too
small after a while.  That meant repeatedly reaching over and
turning up the shock to get more effect and again it was still
limited by will power.  That was fixed by hooking up a second
timer to the variable resistor so the intensity would start out
very small and automatically build up to maximum.  It was
exciting because the resistor didn't always move smoothly and
sometimes there would be big sudden jumps in shock level.  Now
hands were no longer needed to adjust the device once started and
it was possible to tie myself up somewhat to pretend being stuck.
 At first it would always be tested briefly at maximum with the
electrode in my ass to know exactly how much it would be and to
make sure it was humanly possible to tolerate it full strength.
That was still too much predictability and no real surprise.  So,
an extra battery would be added and the timers started without
knowing how strong it was going to be when the resistor reached
zero.  Again it was not enough excitement because even with all
the timers there was still some level of control since it was
always possible to just untie the ropes and reach over to turn it
off any time.  The only possible escalation from here was true
total loss of control combined with helpless submission to an
unknown amount of pain.

Fantasies of Pain Come to Life:

This was the point where it became a true twisted obsession even
at such a young age.  I was addicted to this exact type of anal
pain and nothing else would turn me on.  The sad thing is that I
didn't even learn how to masturbate prior to playing with
electricity and now I was so jaded there was no possibility of
pleasuring myself without it.  Looking back, there might even
have been a danger of creating some kind of split personality
with the sadistic inventor on one side developing ever more
sophisticated torture devices to punish the insatiable masochist
on the other side.  This is the kind of self-bondage scene I was
into less than one year after starting down this path:

The power source was highly refined now.  It had a delayed start,
measured shock duration and automatic power level increase
timers.  Rechargeable batteries were needed because there was no
way to explain such a continuous need for expensive disposables.
Rechargeables were not cheap either but it was easy to buy just a
few at a time and build up to the needed amount.  The charger
only held four at a time so it took three days to get them all
ready.  It was hard to wait that long but it was better to be
certain there was enough charge available to push the session
over the edge and not run out rather than going early and
suffering total disappointment.  Sometimes I would glance over at
it while doing my homework and think about all of that fantastic
power storing up to be released back out and delivered straight
into my rectum.  Extreme care had to be taken since that many
batteries short circuiting would easily start a fire leading to
either embarrassing discovery or embarrassing death.

When it was all finally ready, I would start by taking out my
homemade 1 1/2 inch diameter 6-inch long dual-contact electrode.
The contacts had to be well lubricated to work right and this was
done with just a bit of masturbation to produce the needed
wetness.  Sometimes I would pretend to be that other person, the
sadist, running the probe up and down against me picking up my
lubrication while ever so lightly patting my buttocks with desire
and whispering "oh, just you wait and see what we have in store
for you tonight".  This was an important beginning for the ritual
because having my own body fluids ensure good electrical contact
was a way of creating a full circle linking my sexual desire to
the pain that was about to be inflicted.  Just the thought of it
gave me chills.  The cold probe was then inserted slowly into my
anus leaving about an inch sticking out.  Hot-melt glue was
squirted around the exposed end and my cheeks were pressed firmly
together to make it stick good so it wouldn't fall out when the
thrashing began.  The burning of the melted glue against my skin
was just a small tease for all the glorious pain about to come.
It would not stick to the inside smooth skin of my rectum but it
stuck strongly to the outside.  There was no hair in that region
yet but if there had been it would have certainly been pulled off
by all the glue.  There was also a harness of metal cable
threaded through a hole in the end of the probe and wrapped
around my waist and secured with a lock.

One by one, batteries were taken from a pile on the floor and
placed into their holders.  It was a marvel that they looked so
innocent and yet so much potential pain lived inside of them if
you only knew how to set it free.  The electronics went into a
plastic box and sat 6 feet away from the bed locked into a desk
drawer.  The heavy power cable was taken from a thick outdoor
extension cord and ran out and over to the bed and around a bed
post several times to prevent any pulling from removing it from
the shock source.  From there it ran up onto the bed and into the
probe in my ass.  It was tied to the metal cable harness very
well to prevent being pulled out of the probe.  My feet were tied
spread eagle to the bed posts with just about a foot of slack.
There was another restraint tied to my wrist using a combination
lock and connected to a rope pulling my arm tight over my head to
just about a foot short of the headboard stretching my body out
tight in the center of the bed.  The other hand was left free to
masturbate but there was no way using all possible strength it
could ever remove the electrode or undo any restraints.  The room
was pitch dark but there was a light on a regular wall timer set
to turn on just after the session was completed.  Once that
combination lock on my hand was closed there was absolutely no
return because it was too dark to see the dial on the lock.
Sometimes there was a second or two of hesitation but I never
failed to click that lock shut and seal my fate for the next

It was an unbelievable feeling just waiting there in the dark
anticipating what was about to happen.  Adrenaline pumping in my
veins and my heart beating fast.  Counting out the seconds and
listening to the muffled sound of timers ticking away in the
drawer wondering when it would start.  Questions dancing in my
mind like how long until the power level built up to causing
serious pain and exactly how much pain was going to result this
time when the resistor reached zero and let the full unrestricted
shock flood into my soon-to-be-tortured anus?  Did the timers get
set right and what if the off switch didn't work this time?  Did
all of the wires get connected properly or was I going to just
sit there like a complete fool while absolutely nothing happened
for an hour? When the shock started it was always just a small
tickle at first but the sexual excitement was undeniable.  After
about 6 minutes it went from tickle to slight pain and it was
time to masturbate.  The charge slowly increased and the feeling
was pure pleasure so strong there was a ringing in my ears.  It
was a precisely timed sort of masturbation.  If the orgasm came
too fast then the full effect of the shock would be wasted but if
it took too long then the pain level would get so high it would
stop the pleasure seeking dead in its tracks.  After the orgasm
hit me and started to fade, the shock-induced pleasure that was
my friend would turn against me and become all pain without
pleasure.  Still, the timer on the resistor ticked down, slowly
but monotonously turning up the voltage bit by bit with the
occasional small jump as the resistor stuck a bit as it rotated.
Just a few minutes more and it hurt so bad my body twisted around
in bed straining at the restraints in vain.  It was no fun now,
why did I do this to myself? ... and it was too late to ask.

My mind raced over escape plans but there was nothing possible.
Sometimes I would claw at the electrode and try to pull it loose.
 It was no use, the restraints were just too strong but that was
the whole idea.  Struggling wasn't meant to gain freedom, it was
just a way of fully acting out the part of a helpless torture
victim. There wouldn't be much need for play acting in a few
minutes because it was all about to get very real.  There was no
way to stop this inevitable process of pain.  My whole ass was on
fire now, muscles clenching, agony ripping through my rectum.  A
homemade gag made out of a t-shirt and locked into my mouth with
a metal cable prevented screaming out loud.  It was possible to
breath through the gag a bit but it was not enough. I would end
up panting through my nostrils as fast as possible because of the
pain.  Still, the level of shock increased and now the pain
seemed to extend out from my rectum into my whole pelvis.  Maybe
it took my breath away so much it would not have been possible to
scream even without the gag because I was truly gasping for air
as quickly as possible just to survive.  This could not be
attempted with any sinus congestion or I would suffocate.  There
wasn't even a stray thought to any further masturbation at this
point.  It was just about the pain and survival now.  In the heat
of the moment there was always a sick fear that this was the one
time I had finally pushed it all too far and the current was
surely permanently searing through my rectum leaving a charred
mess of tissue burned onto the probe.  That's what it felt like
every time and even if it was true it couldn't be stopped.  There
was intentionally no clock visible from my position on the bed to
enhance the feeling of uncertainty and it wasn't possible to keep
mental track of time while crazed senseless with so much pain.
As a result, there was no way of knowing how much time was left
or if the power was even all the way up yet.  It felt like the
shock was always getting stronger the whole time without limit
even though that wasn't possible.  The goal was to place myself
into a universe made up entirely of pain. Time, space, desire and
even fear eventually disappeared.  It just went on and on like
that for about 40 more minutes while I cried continuous silent
tears, arching my back, rolling my eyes into my head and
sometimes convulsing helplessly all the while knowing there was
absolutely no escape.

That was the exact mental feeling I grew addicted to, being
helpless in pain from my own actions.  My fiendish inventiveness
had perfected a way of achieving it all by myself at any time.
When the shock timer finally finished ticking down it would turn
off the shock and my straining muscles gave up instantly and let
my body collapse like a rag doll.  Maybe a minute or two later
the light timer activated and lit the room.  I was not able to
move right away.  The weakness was so deep it was only possible
to just lay there shivering for a short while trying to slow down
my breathing and heart rate.  The mental screaming of pain faded
a bit and reality crept back in.  It was hard to open the lock
with my fingers shaking and making mistakes while trying to dial
the combination.  Looking down, my whole body was dripping with
sweat so much it had soaked an outline of itself into the sheet.
It was important to keep water handy and not get dehydrated
before starting the next round of pain.  A long electro session
was kind of like running a marathon; you have to eat well to have
enough calories to get through it but not too heavy and not too
soon before starting.  The gag scared me, it was obvious that
throwing up while bound and gagged would have likely been fatal.
In a weird way I was proud of being able to do this awful thing
to my body like it was some achievement worthy of praise but also
so embarrassing it was impossible to share with any other person.
That fear of having damaged myself internally was always there
but it was too much work to bother with removing the probe
between sessions and checking the skin for blisters.  If wiggling
the end of the probe back and forth didn't cause too much pain
inside then it was good to go for the next round.

The very first time performing a session like this was all so new
and scary and filled with unknown risk and adventure.  Just like
every thrill before it though, enough repetition and it became
old and easy.  Sleep never mattered to me when the craving kicked
in so adding a second round was inevitable and so was the third.
Each session required a fresh set of charged batteries.  My
insides started out more raw with each successive treatment since
they never had time to fully recover from the last round.  That
made the physical response increase each time even though it was
the exact same level of stimulation.  The last round was always
the hardest in terms of mental motivation due to a buildup of
both pain and exhaustion.  This was the very limit of my body's
physical resources.  Everything would be setup again and my shaky
hand touching the combination lock while conflicting thoughts
battled each other in my head.  "Don't do it, you've proved your
point twice and had enough", "No, there is no such thing as
enough, just do it", "Please, no more, I can't take it again",
"Ha, you know it has to be done" and click went the lock as I
trembled in fear.

The first two times were done laying on my back to allow easier
movement for self pleasuring but that was not on the agenda for
the last round.  That would be done on the stomach offering
myself up as sacrifice to the probe; just laying there letting it
have its wicked way with me injecting a continuous stream of
undiluted evil directly into my bowels for another hour.  The
world of pain came quickly this time and my mind traveled to some
pretty strange places.  It must have been the endorphins rushing
through my veins.  Right up until then you could call it all some
extreme form of pleasure/pain play.  That final scene, on the
other hand, had no pretense at reward of any kind.  It was a
search for a new level of self abuse in its most raw form.  It
truly scared me what lurked inside that could possibly want such
a thing.  The limits of my desire may not have been found but the
edge of my physical abilities and willingness to take risk was.

It is a good thing I never got around to buying a fourth set of
batteries because three took its toll plenty.  Once I had my fill
there was a temptation to just fall asleep right there still tied
up with the probe in my ass.  That could never happen because
risking discovery by my parents was more frightening than a
million volts.  All of the restraints had to be undone and the
electrode carefully removed. The glue stuck to the probe more
firmly than my butt so it would sometimes tear off a bit of skin
and form a wrinkly ring around the base of the probe.  I was
afraid to look but it was always a big sigh of relief to see that
my rectum was intact and not blistered with oozing burns. Despite
my unquenchable appetite, there never was any real permanent
damage done beyond minor first degree burns. The internal part of
the probe was always hot to the touch and shining with my sweat
and other fluids.  Having penetrated my most personal intimate
space and taken full control of my body for hours on end it
emerged victoriously smelling of musk, ozone and electrical tape.
 God, I loved that damned evil thing and what it did to me.  Even
after a full night of agony and bone-deep exhaustion just the
mere sight of that electrode, my chosen master, still turned me
on and set my blood racing with desires my tired body couldn't
deliver.  One last step, everything had to be wiped off,
disconnected, disassembled and hidden in various places around
the room to prevent my parents from discovering my implements of
pain.  That was it before drifting off to sleep with strangely
tranquil dreams.


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RE: How I got into self electric pain play

Unread postby Carumbad » Sun Oct 16, 2005 2:52 pm

And for some info on safe electric play, you may wish to try:

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RE: How I got into self electric pain play

Unread postby voltsjolts » Sun Oct 16, 2005 5:45 pm

I am familiar with smartstim but there was no web at the time of that story.
Even today, there are no other options for such an extreme need for pain.
The device as it exists today is more evolved and computerized but itstill uses a sharp DC pulse into a transformer to make brief bursts of120v AC.  The device i use now produces uncontrolled screaming at25% power output

definitely not the safest thing in the world but as safe as can be while still getting the job done.

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RE: How I got into self electric pain play

Unread postby maunalani » Mon Oct 17, 2005 5:29 pm

I'm wondering if voltsjolts can help me understand how I got unexpectedly shocked with my ErosTek.

Sometimes for relaxation--rather than erotic stimulation--I use thevaginal dildo in addition to a butt plug electrode. I set the machineto a low level of a not-too-stimulating program. I'm often soothed tosleep this way.

One night I was shocked awake and couldn't get the electrodes out fastenough, locate the machine and turn it off. I might have enjoyed thatsort of shock in another sort of play, but this was unexpected.

What could have happened? These were wooden plugs, each with two metal strips running the length of them.

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RE: How I got into self electric pain play

Unread postby voltsjolts » Mon Oct 24, 2005 2:18 pm


i'm not sure what it could have been.  has anyone ever reportedthe ErosTek to be unreliable?  The only other thing i can imagineis that one of the metal strips had a jagged edge that cut intoyou.  this would result in a very high current density at thatlocation resulting in an extreme pinpoint burning sensation.

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Re: How I got into self electric pain play

Unread postby lanad » Tue Dec 01, 2015 7:24 pm

god this is so interesting, I don't have time at the moment but I have travelled down roughly the same path as you. must be 20 years ago and have perfected my system.
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