How I got into self electric pain play

Sometimes you just have to do things yourself.
voltsjolts
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Joined: 16 Oct 2005, 04:31
Location: United States

RE: How I got into self electric pain play

Unread post by voltsjolts »

WARNING, do not repeat any of the acts I describe here. They werestupid and dangerous and could have resulted in serious injury ordeath.  This is a true personal account of how I got involvedwith BDSM and electric play as an ignorant person blind to thepotential deadliness of my homemade toys.  This story is notencouragement to try anything it describes and I discourageanyone from starting down this path.I am a grown adult now but got into BDSM, electric play, and selfbondage on my own early in life with absolutely no influence fromanyone else.  Until posting this story to the net it has been acomplete and dark secret of mine.  It is a bad idea to say atwhat exact age it all started but let's just say it was thebeginning of puberty.The Experiment:While playing with an instructional electronics kit there was amistake involving a relay and an audio transformer that generateda square-wave ac signal.  Touching the transformer output byaccident produced a shock to the fingers.  The feelingimmediately captured my interest so I explored further bytouching two wires to various parts of my body.  Fortunately,safety was a concern and there was a clear knowledge not to notdo anything stupid like connect a circuit across the heart. Afterplaying with feet, legs and butt cheeks the next thing was to trysticking one wire up my ass and touching the other one just onthe outside.  With the contact area of single bare wires being sosmall the sensation was instant pinpoint burning pain. That wasnot fun right away but the potential was obvious that there hadto be something worth further investigation.The first step in my exploration was to go from a mistake to aserious electro shock circuit.  Using a simple relay interrupterhooked up to pulse into a transformer worked fine.  The frequencywas too high at first and produced a tickle buzzy kind offeeling.  Adding a capacitor across the relay slowed it downsome.  Playing with different values got the frequency reduced toabout 50HZ which caused the most powerful muscle contractions.The overall sensation wasn't strong enough yet so furthermodifications were needed to produce more output. More batterieshelped and the audio transformer was very small so that wasreplaced with a larger one from a broken radio.  That made it alltoo strong so it had to have a variable resistor added to adjustthe output intensity.Next, it was time to build and test various electrodes to seewhat they felt like.  Larger surface area contacts produced lessburning and more of a deep shock than small contacts.  Also, ifone electrode was large and the other was small then all of thesensation of shock would come from the smaller side.  It was funto place a large foil contact on each butt cheek and causepowerful contractions.  From internal anal experimentation, thegreatest sensitivity and muscle response was produced with theelectrode placed 1/2 to 1 inch inside.  This was determined afterpositioning electrodes at various depths up to about 10 inches.Placing an electrode deeper inside thinking it would give morepowerful sensations is not correct.  It didn't do much even withfull power, it just produced a weird sick nauseous ache insidethat made me nearly throw up.  That wasn't very fun and the riskof damaging an internal organ seemed real so the deep stuff wasabandoned and play was restricted to the outer regions of theanus.  Two circular electrodes running around the probe producedpain but not much in the way of contractions.  Side-by-sidecontacts running front to back along the probe caused a powerfulresponse.  Using the large transformer and touching the batteryto it manually for just one single shock pulse caused acontraction hard enough to jerk the whole lower body around.Seeds of Addiction:It is hard to remember or describe exactly what I first likedabout doing this. The sensations were just so addictive.  It wasunexplainable but I just liked this specific kind of pain fromelectricity and liked it best in my anus and nowhere else.  Iwanted more of it and could not be stopped.  My ass kept gettingused to the shock level and whatever hurt for a while wouldeventual fade and become uninteresting.  This started a neverending desire for a more and more powerful sensation.  The way toget it was adding more batteries and an even bigger transformer.The circuit was finally capable of an output level so high Icould not work up the raw nerve to willingly turn the resistorall the way down.Again, that became easy and boring after a while and newdimensions were needed.  I wanted to feel out of control and pushmy limits of pain so an off switch was hooked up to a wind-upmechanical timer to produce a timed shock.  I would try to justlay still and take it until the timer ran out but any level ofshock tolerable for starting out would eventually become toosmall after a while.  That meant repeatedly reaching over andturning up the shock to get more effect and again it was stilllimited by will power.  That was fixed by hooking up a secondtimer to the variable resistor so the intensity would start outvery small and automatically build up to maximum.  It wasexciting because the resistor didn't always move smoothly andsometimes there would be big sudden jumps in shock level.  Nowhands were no longer needed to adjust the device once started andit was possible to tie myself up somewhat to pretend being stuck. At first it would always be tested briefly at maximum with theelectrode in my ass to know exactly how much it would be and tomake sure it was humanly possible to tolerate it full strength.That was still too much predictability and no real surprise.  So,an extra battery would be added and the timers started withoutknowing how strong it was going to be when the resistor reachedzero.  Again it was not enough excitement because even with allthe timers there was still some level of control since it wasalways possible to just untie the ropes and reach over to turn itoff any time.  The only possible escalation from here was truetotal loss of control combined with helpless submission to anunknown amount of pain.Fantasies of Pain Come to Life:This was the point where it became a true twisted obsession evenat such a young age.  I was addicted to this exact type of analpain and nothing else would turn me on.  The sad thing is that Ididn't even learn how to masturbate prior to playing withelectricity and now I was so jaded there was no possibility ofpleasuring myself without it.  Looking back, there might evenhave been a danger of creating some kind of split personalitywith the sadistic inventor on one side developing ever moresophisticated torture devices to punish the insatiable masochiston the other side.  This is the kind of self-bondage scene I wasinto less than one year after starting down this path:The power source was highly refined now.  It had a delayed start,measured shock duration and automatic power level increasetimers.  Rechargeable batteries were needed because there was noway to explain such a continuous need for expensive disposables.Rechargeables were not cheap either but it was easy to buy just afew at a time and build up to the needed amount.  The chargeronly held four at a time so it took three days to get them allready.  It was hard to wait that long but it was better to becertain there was enough charge available to push the sessionover the edge and not run out rather than going early andsuffering total disappointment.  Sometimes I would glance over atit while doing my homework and think about all of that fantasticpower storing up to be released back out and delivered straightinto my rectum.  Extreme care had to be taken since that manybatteries short circuiting would easily start a fire leading toeither embarrassing discovery or embarrassing death.When it was all finally ready, I would start by taking out myhomemade 1 1/2 inch diameter 6-inch long dual-contact electrode.The contacts had to be well lubricated to work right and this wasdone with just a bit of masturbation to produce the neededwetness.  Sometimes I would pretend to be that other person, thesadist, running the probe up and down against me picking up mylubrication while ever so lightly patting my buttocks with desireand whispering "oh, just you wait and see what we have in storefor you tonight".  This was an important beginning for the ritualbecause having my own body fluids ensure good electrical contactwas a way of creating a full circle linking my sexual desire tothe pain that was about to be inflicted.  Just the thought of itgave me chills.  The cold probe was then inserted slowly into myanus leaving about an inch sticking out.  Hot-melt glue wassquirted around the exposed end and my cheeks were pressed firmlytogether to make it stick good so it wouldn't fall out when thethrashing began.  The burning of the melted glue against my skinwas just a small tease for all the glorious pain about to come.It would not stick to the inside smooth skin of my rectum but itstuck strongly to the outside.  There was no hair in that regionyet but if there had been it would have certainly been pulled offby all the glue.  There was also a harness of metal cablethreaded through a hole in the end of the probe and wrappedaround my waist and secured with a lock.One by one, batteries were taken from a pile on the floor andplaced into their holders.  It was a marvel that they looked soinnocent and yet so much potential pain lived inside of them ifyou only knew how to set it free.  The electronics went into aplastic box and sat 6 feet away from the bed locked into a deskdrawer.  The heavy power cable was taken from a thick outdoorextension cord and ran out and over to the bed and around a bedpost several times to prevent any pulling from removing it fromthe shock source.  From there it ran up onto the bed and into theprobe in my ass.  It was tied to the metal cable harness verywell to prevent being pulled out of the probe.  My feet were tiedspread eagle to the bed posts with just about a foot of slack.There was another restraint tied to my wrist using a combinationlock and connected to a rope pulling my arm tight over my head tojust about a foot short of the headboard stretching my body outtight in the center of the bed.  The other hand was left free tomasturbate but there was no way using all possible strength itcould ever remove the electrode or undo any restraints.  The roomwas pitch dark but there was a light on a regular wall timer setto turn on just after the session was completed.  Once thatcombination lock on my hand was closed there was absolutely noreturn because it was too dark to see the dial on the lock.Sometimes there was a second or two of hesitation but I neverfailed to click that lock shut and seal my fate for the nexthour.It was an unbelievable feeling just waiting there in the darkanticipating what was about to happen.  Adrenaline pumping in myveins and my heart beating fast.  Counting out the seconds andlistening to the muffled sound of timers ticking away in thedrawer wondering when it would start.  Questions dancing in mymind like how long until the power level built up to causingserious pain and exactly how much pain was going to result thistime when the resistor reached zero and let the full unrestrictedshock flood into my soon-to-be-tortured anus?  Did the timers getset right and what if the off switch didn't work this time?  Didall of the wires get connected properly or was I going to justsit there like a complete fool while absolutely nothing happenedfor an hour? When the shock started it was always just a smalltickle at first but the sexual excitement was undeniable.  Afterabout 6 minutes it went from tickle to slight pain and it wastime to masturbate.  The charge slowly increased and the feelingwas pure pleasure so strong there was a ringing in my ears.  Itwas a precisely timed sort of masturbation.  If the orgasm cametoo fast then the full effect of the shock would be wasted but ifit took too long then the pain level would get so high it wouldstop the pleasure seeking dead in its tracks.  After the orgasmhit me and started to fade, the shock-induced pleasure that wasmy friend would turn against me and become all pain withoutpleasure.  Still, the timer on the resistor ticked down, slowlybut monotonously turning up the voltage bit by bit with theoccasional small jump as the resistor stuck a bit as it rotated.Just a few minutes more and it hurt so bad my body twisted aroundin bed straining at the restraints in vain.  It was no fun now,why did I do this to myself? ... and it was too late to ask.My mind raced over escape plans but there was nothing possible.Sometimes I would claw at the electrode and try to pull it loose. It was no use, the restraints were just too strong but that wasthe whole idea.  Struggling wasn't meant to gain freedom, it wasjust a way of fully acting out the part of a helpless torturevictim. There wouldn't be much need for play acting in a fewminutes because it was all about to get very real.  There was noway to stop this inevitable process of pain.  My whole ass was onfire now, muscles clenching, agony ripping through my rectum.  Ahomemade gag made out of a t-shirt and locked into my mouth witha metal cable prevented screaming out loud.  It was possible tobreath through the gag a bit but it was not enough. I would endup panting through my nostrils as fast as possible because of thepain.  Still, the level of shock increased and now the painseemed to extend out from my rectum into my whole pelvis.  Maybeit took my breath away so much it would not have been possible toscream even without the gag because I was truly gasping for airas quickly as possible just to survive.  This could not beattempted with any sinus congestion or I would suffocate.  Therewasn't even a stray thought to any further masturbation at thispoint.  It was just about the pain and survival now.  In the heatof the moment there was always a sick fear that this was the onetime I had finally pushed it all too far and the current wassurely permanently searing through my rectum leaving a charredmess of tissue burned onto the probe.  That's what it felt likeevery time and even if it was true it couldn't be stopped.  Therewas intentionally no clock visible from my position on the bed toenhance the feeling of uncertainty and it wasn't possible to keepmental track of time while crazed senseless with so much pain. As a result, there was no way of knowing how much time was leftor if the power was even all the way up yet.  It felt like theshock was always getting stronger the whole time without limiteven though that wasn't possible.  The goal was to place myselfinto a universe made up entirely of pain. Time, space, desire andeven fear eventually disappeared.  It just went on and on likethat for about 40 more minutes while I cried continuous silenttears, arching my back, rolling my eyes into my head andsometimes convulsing helplessly all the while knowing there wasabsolutely no escape.That was the exact mental feeling I grew addicted to, beinghelpless in pain from my own actions.  My fiendish inventivenesshad perfected a way of achieving it all by myself at any time.When the shock timer finally finished ticking down it would turnoff the shock and my straining muscles gave up instantly and letmy body collapse like a rag doll.  Maybe a minute or two laterthe light timer activated and lit the room.  I was not able tomove right away.  The weakness was so deep it was only possibleto just lay there shivering for a short while trying to slow downmy breathing and heart rate.  The mental screaming of pain fadeda bit and reality crept back in.  It was hard to open the lockwith my fingers shaking and making mistakes while trying to dialthe combination.  Looking down, my whole body was dripping withsweat so much it had soaked an outline of itself into the sheet.It was important to keep water handy and not get dehydratedbefore starting the next round of pain.  A long electro sessionwas kind of like running a marathon; you have to eat well to haveenough calories to get through it but not too heavy and not toosoon before starting.  The gag scared me, it was obvious thatthrowing up while bound and gagged would have likely been fatal.In a weird way I was proud of being able to do this awful thingto my body like it was some achievement worthy of praise but alsoso embarrassing it was impossible to share with any other person.That fear of having damaged myself internally was always therebut it was too much work to bother with removing the probebetween sessions and checking the skin for blisters.  If wigglingthe end of the probe back and forth didn't cause too much paininside then it was good to go for the next round.The very first time performing a session like this was all so newand scary and filled with unknown risk and adventure.  Just likeevery thrill before it though, enough repetition and it becameold and easy.  Sleep never mattered to me when the craving kickedin so adding a second round was inevitable and so was the third.Each session required a fresh set of charged batteries.  Myinsides started out more raw with each successive treatment sincethey never had time to fully recover from the last round.  Thatmade the physical response increase each time even though it wasthe exact same level of stimulation.  The last round was alwaysthe hardest in terms of mental motivation due to a buildup ofboth pain and exhaustion.  This was the very limit of my body'sphysical resources.  Everything would be setup again and my shakyhand touching the combination lock while conflicting thoughtsbattled each other in my head.  "Don't do it, you've proved yourpoint twice and had enough", "No, there is no such thing asenough, just do it", "Please, no more, I can't take it again","Ha, you know it has to be done" and click went the lock as Itrembled in fear.The first two times were done laying on my back to allow easiermovement for self pleasuring but that was not on the agenda forthe last round.  That would be done on the stomach offeringmyself up as sacrifice to the probe; just laying there letting ithave its wicked way with me injecting a continuous stream ofundiluted evil directly into my bowels for another hour.  Theworld of pain came quickly this time and my mind traveled to somepretty strange places.  It must have been the endorphins rushingthrough my veins.  Right up until then you could call it all someextreme form of pleasure/pain play.  That final scene, on theother hand, had no pretense at reward of any kind.  It was asearch for a new level of self abuse in its most raw form.  Ittruly scared me what lurked inside that could possibly want sucha thing.  The limits of my desire may not have been found but theedge of my physical abilities and willingness to take risk was.It is a good thing I never got around to buying a fourth set ofbatteries because three took its toll plenty.  Once I had my fillthere was a temptation to just fall asleep right there still tiedup with the probe in my ass.  That could never happen becauserisking discovery by my parents was more frightening than amillion volts.  All of the restraints had to be undone and theelectrode carefully removed. The glue stuck to the probe morefirmly than my butt so it would sometimes tear off a bit of skinand form a wrinkly ring around the base of the probe.  I wasafraid to look but it was always a big sigh of relief to see thatmy rectum was intact and not blistered with oozing burns. Despitemy unquenchable appetite, there never was any real permanentdamage done beyond minor first degree burns. The internal part ofthe probe was always hot to the touch and shining with my sweatand other fluids.  Having penetrated my most personal intimatespace and taken full control of my body for hours on end itemerged victoriously smelling of musk, ozone and electrical tape. God, I loved that damned evil thing and what it did to me.  Evenafter a full night of agony and bone-deep exhaustion just themere sight of that electrode, my chosen master, still turned meon and set my blood racing with desires my tired body couldn'tdeliver.  One last step, everything had to be wiped off,disconnected, disassembled and hidden in various places aroundthe room to prevent my parents from discovering my implements ofpain.  That was it before drifting off to sleep with strangelytranquil dreams.-voltsjolts

Carumbad
Chair Bound
Posts: 74
Joined: 16 Oct 2005, 20:45

RE: How I got into self electric pain play

Unread post by Carumbad »

And for some info on safe electric play, you may wish to try: http://www.smartstim.com:)GaggedUtopia38641.6782175926

voltsjolts
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Posts: 7
Joined: 16 Oct 2005, 04:31
Location: United States

RE: How I got into self electric pain play

Unread post by voltsjolts »

I am familiar with smartstim but there was no web at the time of that story.Even today, there are no other options for such an extreme need for pain.The device as it exists today is more evolved and computerized but itstill uses a sharp DC pulse into a transformer to make brief bursts of120v AC.  The device i use now produces uncontrolled screaming at25% power outputdefinitely not the safest thing in the world but as safe as can be while still getting the job done.-voltsjolts

maunalani
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RE: How I got into self electric pain play

Unread post by maunalani »

I'm wondering if voltsjolts can help me understand how I got unexpectedly shocked with my ErosTek.Sometimes for relaxation--rather than erotic stimulation--I use thevaginal dildo in addition to a butt plug electrode. I set the machineto a low level of a not-too-stimulating program. I'm often soothed tosleep this way.One night I was shocked awake and couldn't get the electrodes out fastenough, locate the machine and turn it off. I might have enjoyed thatsort of shock in another sort of play, but this was unexpected.What could have happened? These were wooden plugs, each with two metal strips running the length of them.

voltsjolts
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RE: How I got into self electric pain play

Unread post by voltsjolts »

maunalani,i'm not sure what it could have been.  has anyone ever reportedthe ErosTek to be unreliable?  The only other thing i can imagineis that one of the metal strips had a jagged edge that cut intoyou.  this would result in a very high current density at thatlocation resulting in an extreme pinpoint burning sensation.voltsjolts

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lanad
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Re: How I got into self electric pain play

Unread post by lanad »

god this is so interesting, I don't have time at the moment but I have travelled down roughly the same path as you. must be 20 years ago and have perfected my system.

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