130 / 80 / 153
Main financial goal: 41% (83% was required)
Second financial goal: 29% (completed)
Musical projects 3 complete out of 3 (completed)
Porn Count: 57.17% (one watched this month)
Side Missions: 67.84%
Exercise Daily from Feb, twice daily from March: 126 not done / 197 done
Out of bed by alloted time from February (7.30/9.30 W/Es): 43 not done / 274 done
Failed Reports to MsBehavin: 11
Reported and in bed before 1.30AM from February : 216 not done/ 95 done
Full weekends in chastity: 33 partially out / 19 fully in
Orgasms this year: 2
Enforced lockups: 4
I guess an update on recent developments and a round up is in order, I started this in some free time yesterday (we got let out 75 mins early at work ) so I'm kinda rewriting things as I go along, if I miss something or something is out of place, forgive! If it seems random as to how I place this all, its not an intention to put weight or significance in the order I write it, as it comes to me I'll note it down. Note: Its kind of a turned into a monster post so again, forgive grammar, spelling, etc..
3rd musical project is complete. COMPLETE!!! Artwork and all, I'm immensely proud of this one, to the point where I'm listening to it now and thinking was that really me? I had a big push over the last few weeks to get it done and write music I find valuable to me. I did end up junking the one piece that didn't work and came up with things that did. Again, just so proud of myself for sticking to this. The last project had less of a theme and not so much of a narrative either, and has been open ended in terms of the instrumentation and approaches I've allowed. That further opens up the world of possibilities to me again.
With the three projects, I have recorded a total of 1 hr 23 worth of music for my projects, whilst that may seem small, this has involved everything from writing, constructing drum patterns, guitar & bass parts, piano & orchestral elements, a lot of learning as always and at some points sheer willing the laptop/music program to work. Coupled to 6 additional pieces (4 including vocals) I recorded on a week off before Xmas and various pieces not used, its around about 1 hr 40 worth of music written and recorded this year.
This means that with my secondary & third financial goal complete, and a few days away from porn count being under the required amount for the year, I will (hopefully) meet 4 out of the 5 main goals, and to be honest with the next couple of days ahead, I'm not really going to get chance to get the porn count up, not that I should be watching any this month so I will stick to that.
80% success is huge to me, I've never really set goals, said that before, but to have really walked it, yes, that's been a big thing to me. You can try and control your finances but, well, things happen. Everything else was down to me and its really made this year, totally made it. Without trying to be corny, I've seen how staying positive and approaching things from a less fearful view can change you for the better, as well as trying to achieve what you set out to do.
A big development, and I guess this kinda relates more to next year now, is on Xmas Eve I received a Steelworxx Steelheart 2 (SH2). I wasn't really expecting it to arrive this year as I ordered it early-mid November but Father Chastemas (go on, you can use that one) was very kind to me. A thing of such absolute awesomeness, I can only describe it as beautiful, does deserve its own post but suffice to say other than a few family hours on Boxing Day, an hour yesterday to compare and contrast with CB6Ks copy, and a few hours out at a birthday celebration last night, its been on constantly. Even at work.
I guess I should mention the main devices that have all played their own part in this. Of the CB3000, I was glad to only get 2 months in with the large POI in total, I still hold a place in my heart for that device, being my first, but getting a lot of the chaffing from the ring was always a problem. In the 2nd half of the year, the CB6Ks copy became the main device and thats where I spent a lot of time, once again chaffing and pinching were problematic, certainly the U channel in the ring made longer wear painful. Does the real CB6000 have that channel? I'm certainly not a fan. However the device was a very good fit for me. And last but not least, the cheap metal ringed cage that was my home for 10 days back in September. That device was a lot of fun but was never the same again due to the brown residue that came as a result of the long lock up.
Looking at the figures, and I'm not sure how this has happened, the early morning/late night/exercise figures are 30 days off from where they really should be. I must have miskeyed at some point or maybe I just had a series of brain wrongs throughout the year. I
should go back and see where it went wrong but in reality not logging only impacts on keeping the secondary goals lower so where not noted, I haven't benefitted, in both senses of not acheiving the difference and figuratively.
In total, as noted above, I have failed 11 pre 7.30/9.30 reports to MsBehavin since April, a success rate of 96%. I really do have to thank her for that, helping me to stick to one of my goals, where I could. That she invested in this for me too, just as simple as reading a message daily really, it was a very generous thing for her to offer and really appreciated. Thank you very much!
Sticking to exercising has been another great thing this year. I picked up a recurring shoulder/neck injury a few years back and that has flared up a couple of times this year. I certainly recall the pancake fall at work that caused trouble for a bit. But its been encouraging overall and am considering it more. I will be looking at my diet next year. I don't eat an awful amount but it'll be interesting to see what else I can do. I have invested in some cold weather leggings and new running shoes so I will be picking the jogging up again.
I haven't covered the milking and estim so much, well, not that I recall. Due to the two orgasms, I have only had 4 of the proposed 6 milkings this year. The last was yesterday, quite short but I dripped for quite a while afterwards. Thats a sensation that is new to me this year, I've occasionally leaked a small but noticeable amount over a sustained period, feeling it run slowly down through the shaft, that has often been (A) a product of being horny and (B) sustaining that horniness, being unable to stop the constant feel of oozing. I am due one more estim punishment tomorrow, which I will switch to the CB3000 & medium POIs for. No orgasm, just the torture of sensation whilst locked. Lets face it, though, I do enjoy it. I'm not really into the whacks and thuds, more the builds, twisting and pulling feel of it. The real punishment was that I only got to do it 5 times this year...
Getting to have my key held this year, very special. I covered that in more than a few posts and the friendship born out of the back and forth continues to grow still, valued way beyond the kinky stuff already.
The side missions. Something I set up to push me to keep on top of things, sometimes as punishment or annoyance, sometimes as reward or to push. A few random ones and some explanations, shows some of the randomness of my thought, in no real order:
The ebay sale - not done, tons of rock tshirts to be gotten rid of &, well, not...
Sort out the credit card - done, I sorted it!
Daily posts on Twitter - 179/335, an error in reporting? I don't blather on but its been most days. Sometimes annoying to have to do, especially if I wasn't in the best of moods, I haven't allowed myself to vent, but my Kanye West inspired reporting of a car boot sale I was helping out at was lot of fun
Complete Batman Arkham City - not finished, I do believe in "relaxation is required" but the disc has remained on the shelf since 2011.
Fetish wear in the monthly meeting - 11 out of 11, even the ones that got cancelled, I made sure to be somewhat stealth kinky that day
Covering the xmas period at work and in chastity: Set as a punishment for sure, so far I have done Thursday & Friday, with Monday still to go. The Steelheart 2 has been a breeze, no pains so far at work despite extended periods sat in one spot.
Soundcloud page for projects: Done, I started putting them out to be found, I don't even look at the stats but as I rarely advertise I do them, I doubt its huge numbers
Yes, well, the side missions weren't a complete success, in terms that I didn't necessarily get a feel for it totally. I guess, starting out, I wanted to feel a sense of time dragging, as this was all born out of an initial sense of punishment, I wanted to
have to experience incremental changes and have to microupdate regularly for little gains, but learning that I prefer the feeling of encouragement, knowing that I'm building toward something, it just didn't NOT turn out as planned, figures etc in the main worked fine, hard to describe but I didn't get as much out of it. But well, I started so I'll finish...
What can I take from all this? A question I don't fully know how to answer. I (will have) failed one of the 5 goals this year so this means I will be submitting myself to chastity again next year but had I not failed, had I succeeded completely, would I put myself into chastity again? I guess, yes, I've grown accustomed to the feeling of being held, constantly and securely. I've certainly understood that the lusty wants have become tidal. The purchase of the SH2 is obviously a move in line with wanting longer unbroken periods in chastity. I never though of myself as having some kind of chronic problem, but the submission to it, the denial of it. The thought of earning orgasm. Wrapping my need to create in with my desire, I guess is utterly strange but, look at it this way...
I finished project number 3 on Xmas Eve, selfdenied and breaking in the SH2. I have yet to "celebrate" the finishing of my projects, knowing I have so little left of 2012 and that to falter now, whilst not the end of the world, I asked this of myself and I want to see it through in total.
I hope you guys have certainly enjoyed reading through this adventure. Going back over my posts occasionally, I've thought "Did I really write/do that?".
Bidding farewell to 2012, I'm still thinking of 2013 and trying to figure out what should be. I know what I want project wise. The financial goal is reset. I'm still bouncing ideas around so passing into 2013, I will undoubtedly stay locked until I figure it out.
And bidding farewell to this thread too, excepting any questions that may be asked relating to my 2012 journey, and please feel free to ask if there's something I haven't covered, but its been an interesting ask of myself too, to keep writing here, to describe what I may not necessarily have really understood at times but very much how I've felt. I've been surprised at the volume of words I generate, I guess in that sense of not having someone to bare my kinky side to (try to read that with a "real tortured soul" voice in mind
) and that I am quite a shy person, its been easy to put that here and once I get going, its been hard to stop.
As a preview to the
FINAL DAYS OF 2012, I have a second birthday party to attend tonight, work on Monday & I think a NYE get together that night, the 2 gatherings with friends will be out of chastity, but the remainder of the year will be in the SH2 (love at first sight, did I say?) or the CB3000 for one hour.
Chastity at work rocks, BTW!!!
So this years adventure is coming to a close. Not an end to the journey, just an end to this adventure. The are other adventures to be had, for sure. If you've been keeping up with this thread, thanks for reading.
See you next year
thisisabind
New adventures.
Seems weird to me... 
That'd certainly get them to put the chop chop on getting you moved in without messing you around. 
, it feels good to be working towards and achieving something and at the very least TRYING to do it.