Help with writers block story

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Help with writers block story

Unread postby abrank » Tue Aug 12, 2014 4:08 am

I have written about 48 pages of a story called “Writers Block” The story is ostensibly about writing stories and writers block, but the primary themes are male self-bondage and female domination. Since John no longer allows corrections to posted stories on his utopiastories website I would like someone to proof read it, or part of it, find typos and make suggestions for improvement before I post it. I have carefully edited it to remove errors and typos, but from experience there are no doubt some that remain.

In return I would do the same for that person’s story.

For example my story is written in the 3rd person from the POV of a male. I just read FictitiousSlave’s guide to writing erotic stories who recommends writing in the first person. Should I change my story to first person? That would be relatively easy to do.

Something happened at the end of the story, or at least at the end of the story as written, and I cannot continue it. I would like an assessment as to the value of the story; is it interesting, is the pacing OK, should it be continued, etc.
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Re: Help with writers block story

Unread postby DarkLizerd » Tue Aug 12, 2014 4:47 am

48 pages, that would be a lot to re-write just to change the POV...
I hate it when I write myself into a corner...
Move it into a word processor program, that could cover typos and grammar errors, but,
it may not help with the flow of the story...

1st person, 3rd person??? It depends on what you are trying to tell...
I have a story set that is mainly 1st person, but had to jump to someone else for a few bits...

You could always link it here and 'try' to get feedback...
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Re: Help with writers block story

Unread postby abrank » Tue Aug 12, 2014 6:27 am

Thanks DarkLizard for your helpful reply.

but

I have not written myself into a corner, it is in a word processor, I have edited it several times to remove all errors I can find, I really like the story so don’t mind editing again to change the voice. (Some errors will be missing words since my brain subconsciously puts them back in when I read.)

I didn’t want to post it since 48 pages might be too offputting. I note that stories posted in the authors corner section get very few reviews so would expect a 48-page story to get zero.

I thought I wanted a thoughtful review, that’s why I offered reciprocity. But perhaps what I really want is validation.

I wrote a preface to the story which now reads:


Preface

Deleted.

What was in the preface, you may ask.

Why should I tell you? There are things better not told, like what is inside a blocked up chimney.



There is, of course a blocked up chimney in the story. I also wrote a postscript. To read it will spoil some of the surprises in the story. I should perhaps explain that Dylan and Catherine are two characters in my story, and Dylan is writing a story in which one of his characters is also called Catherine. Since the postscript is aimed at myself it probably would not be posted as part of the story, but I give it here since you might gain some insight as to why I stopped writing.



Postscript: Another writer's block (or notes to myself).

After had completed this story up to about half way through Chapter 8 I saw, by chance on late night TV, Truffaut’s movie ‘Jules et Jim’. I was struck by the coincidences that the female lead had the same name, Catherine, as mine, that she enchants men with her beautiful; smile, and that she explores the world through sexual adventure. Were these really coincidences, or can fiction and reality never truly be separate? The movie is based on a semi autobiographic novel by Henri-Pierre Roche and mixes fact with fiction.

Although my story is of an entirely different, genre, medium, and style, I felt it compared unfavorably with Truffaut’s wonderful movie, became discouraged, and lost interest in finishing it. I forced myself to complete chapter 8, have an outline for chapter 9, and know where the plot is going, but I doubt I will ever finish it. It will join the many other incomplete stories of mine, but since I have written so many pages, I may post it somewhere.

What I find interesting in reviewing what I have written is the extent of the parallels between what Dylan was experiencing and what he was writing. Some of it was deliberately contrived, but not all. For example, at the end of chapter I write that Dylan is writing that his fictional Catherine discovers Ambrose in the dungeon while at the same time my fictional Catherine discovers Dylan in the cottage. Both Ambrose and Dylan are in bondage and the cottage is like a dungeon with thick stone walls, strong wooden door and a dark and gloomy interior. This coincidence was not consciously planned and I didn’t even realize the full extent of the similarity until writing this postscript. And no, I have not edited that scene except to remove typos.

The deleted preface noted that the story is not all fiction. I am amazed at the unexpected interconnections between Dylan’s fiction, his reality, and my real life.
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Re: Help with writers block story

Unread postby DarkLizerd » Tue Aug 12, 2014 8:11 pm

48 pages would be a hard read... for someone looking for a short "erotic" story...
Which may be the preference around here... ADHD or something ')
Personally, unless the story captures me in the first few paragraphs, I start skipping
ahead to see when the fun starts...
If it gets interesting, I go back and read what lead up to the part that got my interest...
I've had a few that rambled at the start... then re-reading, I felt that the ramble is required
to set the characters up.

So, is your story about someone writing a story and they had the writer's block???
Or one deeper?

Post a link to the story....
And true, you may not get any responses, but by counting the downloads, you may get a feel
for how many people maybe a bit interested...
You could post a snippet to wet someone's interest...
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Re: Help with writers block story

Unread postby abrank » Tue Aug 12, 2014 10:10 pm

Dark Lizard, thanks for your comments. You have made a valuable criticism even without reading the story or knowing what it is about.

I usually write my stories in chronological order for my own pleasure rather than for other people, and felt a deep compulsion to write this one. When I think of other people reading my stories I sometimes reorder the time line if there is too much of lead time before getting to the (hopefully) erotic bondage part. This story is no exception. As is stands it is in chronological order. I need to think about the beginning and perhaps reorder it to make the first few paragraphs more interesting. I keep forgetting this and other simple tricks.

The first paragraph currently reads:

“It was late on a beautiful sunny Saturday in early June when Dylan drove his heavily laden car along the winding dirt lane leading to the small stone cottage he had rented. The two-room cottage was halfway up the gentle sloping side of rural valley and surrounded by fields of wheat and barley. He had selected it for its isolation; he wanted quiet for his writing and privacy for his fetish.”

This is not exactly attention grabbing.

The story is about Dylan, a wanna-be writer who can’t finish stories because he keeps getting writers’ block. It may not exactly be writers’ block, I don’t know what the correct phrase it, because Dylan can start, but not finish stories, whereas I believe writers’ block refers to a long period that lacks creativity. He has an idea for a historical novel and plans to motivate himself using bondage if he fails to meets his daily writing target.

I am not sure how deep the story is. Beyond what the characters do and how they interact, perhaps the interest lies in what Dylan writes and what later happens to him in a time-shifted linkage. Not a perfect linkage, but a kind of foreshadowing. For example, he writes that his historical fictional Catherine has a friend Elinor whose father is a blacksmith. He later meets a friend of the real Catherine named Emily whose father is a part time farrier. Both Elinor and Emily have traits in common.

What I find interesting, as I wrote this, is what Dylan can or will do to save his own situation. Hypercat asked in this forum if anyone ever felt mercy towards the victims. I replied that I did not, but for Dylan this could be crucial. He writes about one of his characters, Ambrose, who is horribly tortured, and it may be clear to the reader, if not to Dylan, that there is some kind of linkage between them since he has already experienced some torture. The question is, will Dylan show mercy towards Ambrose or will he let him die. And will whatever he does be mirrored in his own life. This particular question is not answered in what I have written so far, but there is some indication because you know part of the outline that Dylan plans to write.

But maybe the story is deeper than I realized. Dylan decides he wants to change the plot line of his story in a certain way, but finds he cannot, he has to make a different change. Maybe this relates to reality, we can change some things in our lives, but not everything.

I just had a thought; if Dylan kills off his character Ambrose, then the story should be told in the third person since telling it in the first person would indicate that Dylan was not going to die and consequently that Dylan was not going to let Ambrose die. Keeping it in the third person creates more uncertainty as to what will happen.
Last edited by abrank on Tue Aug 12, 2014 11:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Help with writers block story

Unread postby d3vious.g3nius » Tue Aug 12, 2014 11:51 pm

I have some time, can you link it to me in a PM? I will check for typo's, similar words misused(your/you're), perspective and grammatical errors. Grammatical errors are not my strong point I just know when it reads wrong!!!

I will be completely honest with my opinion but remember it's just that, my opinion. Beyond that, you have to be confident in your writing and realize my opinion or not my purpose is to help ;)

Let me know,
- d.g

P.S.

EX. "... The two-room cottage was halfway up the gentle sloping side of rural valley and surrounded by fields of wheat and barley."

Now correct me if I"m wrong, but unless "Rural Valley"(capitalized) is the name of a specific place it should be "a rural valley"?
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Re: Help with writers block story

Unread postby abrank » Wed Aug 13, 2014 12:02 am

Thank you d3vious.g3nius, you are correct, the word 'a' is missing. It well illustrates my problem, I have read that paragraph many times and each time my brain inserts the word 'a' without telling me it has done so.

Thank you for your kind offer which I accept. Two minor things, first I want to rewrite the beginning based on the previous post, and second I am not sure how to link it. It only exists on my PC. I know how to email it, and I presume I could put it into a PM. But linking, I am not sure what that entails.
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Re: Help with writers block story

Unread postby d3vious.g3nius » Wed Aug 13, 2014 12:15 am

I'll send you an email address in a PM to which you can forward me your story ;) - d.g
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