subGrrl reviews

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RE: subGrrl reviews

Unread postby subgrrl » Tue Mar 06, 2012 9:01 am

Hello... My name is subGrrl. Um... that's just an alias.

Perhaps you have lingered in the comments section over at utopiastories.com recently. If so, you might have noticed that I have been reviewing some of the new and updated stories as they get posted. If you wish me to do so, I will review a story that you have written, as well, regardless of how long ago the story has been posted in this thread. If you command me to...

There are some rules, but no guarantees. For example, you probably do not want me to review your work if it does not match my personal preferences. And so, I will focus on female related stories (f, F/f preferred). Specifically, I do not care to review male submissive stories (No F/m or M/m). I can deal with male dominant stories (M/f ok), but if there starts to be too many men or the content starts to get too Gorean-y any response you receive may not be pleasant (M+++/f bad). I may make exceptions.

I promise that I will be respectful and somewhat constructive. At the same time, I may poke some gentle fun at your characters or your content. On occasion I may be brutally harsh. Because of this I will only post a review here if you ask me to.

Another rule is that I will only review stories that are posted on either Gromets Plaza (etc.) or UtopiaStories. I'm too scared to creep around some of those other nasty sites. So simply list the name of the story and the author, and I will find it.

I cannot guarantee that my reviews will be timely. I cannot guarantee that I might one day simply disappear and never review again. Regardless, know that I respect the time and effort it takes to write and deliver your babies.

Why am I doing this, you may be asking...

1. I want to study the structure and content of various stories, in order to improve my writing.
2. I want to advocate for story scenarios that speak to my personal preferences.
3. I want to (hopefully) help and amuse and thank authors that contribute.

What are my credentials?

I've got none. In fact, I wouldn't trust a single piece of advice that I ever give you.

So, if you want, suggest away...

--subGrrl
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RE: subGrrl reviews

Unread postby RGbargy » Tue Mar 06, 2012 4:13 pm

You are welcome to peruse my stories on Gromet. I even have my own section.
 
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RE: subGrrl reviews

Unread postby subgrrl » Wed Mar 07, 2012 9:03 am

Life Sentence by R G Bargy

There will be spoilers, so you should read the story prior to reading the review. I am about to ruin the ending.

Commentary:
This story is a terrifying horror story.

It started off simply enough with a particularly engaging bit on depreciating your assets in a manner that would enrage your accountant. Then the reader gets teased that around any corner some device of bondage diabolicality will leap out and ensnare the hapless bondagette, Anne, but alas... The kicker comes when the husband announces the upcoming dinner guests will be Anne's parents and brother. Sheer horror!

I suppose that at some mental level, the revelation of the identities of the dinner guests, may have an erotic appeal. After all, if dear mother won't save you from your life sentence, then who will? Regardless, for me, there was only terror...

Cut to phone call between Lover Lisianski and Mama Grrl:
"Hello, Mrs. Grrl? I wanted to let you know that sub and I will be coming for the holidays... Huh?... Um, yes. We are still together and sub is still 'one of them lesbians'... I was wondering if your house is handicap accessible... Oh, no! sub is perfectly fine. It's just that, well, she also has a bit of a predilection towards bondage, and... and she has welded herself into a small cage that has no door. But, luckily we have been able to attach wheels to roll her around from place to place. Hello?... Are you still there?..."

Yeah... That wouldn't go over so well...

One cliche that you often see in fantastical bondage stories is that the young woman's parents have been tragically dispatched in some way. As a reader of fiction, I admit that I almost take comfort in that kind of setup. The ugliest fantasies sometimes thrive within such neatly outlined boxes.

Then again, perhaps a predisposition towards bondage is really a genetic thing. A diabetic is bound by a needle. Poor eyesight is passed from generation to generation. Even generalized anxiety disorders that make you prefer confined spaces can be traced to particular genes. Maybe RG Bargy is right and our parents already know that we like bondage. I, for one, am NOT going to ask...

I enjoyed RG Bargy's stories. I will read more.

And that, my friends, is that.

I might start to get mean if no one else chooses to subject themselves to my scrutiny. So, please, throw yourself, naked, upon the court of critique. (And feel free to critique my critiques.)

--subGrrl

Cut to another holiday scene:
"Young Jimmy! How many times have I told you to wear a helmet when you use your crazy aunt sub's cage as a soap box derby car? And cover her up! The neighbors might be watching!"
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RE: subGrrl reviews

Unread postby Lobo » Fri Mar 23, 2012 3:52 am

I'm always glad to hear what people think of my stories, so feel free. There's a couple to choose from, and always more on the way.
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RE: subGrrl reviews

Unread postby RGbargy » Fri Mar 23, 2012 4:17 am

Fascinating review. I didn't recognise my own story yet the actual content is accurate.
 
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RE: subGrrl reviews

Unread postby subgrrl » Sat Mar 24, 2012 8:49 am

After perusing Lobo de la Sombra's collection of stories on Grometsplaza, I decided to read and review Kira. I really enjoyed it, and recommend that you read it as well prior to reading my review. Otherwise I might ruin it for you.

I have noticed that even a horrible writer can envision and relate a diabolical bondage scenario which sufficiently stirs one's arousal. On the other hand, I believe that it is particularly difficult for even the best writers to describe in detail the specific steps involved in manipulating one of the characters up the hill towards a climax. How many times have you read a story and discovered that you are just skimming what should be the hottest part..? "Ok, ok, boobs were squeezed, places were rubbed, blah, blah, blah, insert tab A into slot B, screaming, blah, blah..."

Maybe I'm just jaded.

I believe, however, that Lobo de la Sombra did an excellent job in his description of the way in which the protagonist, Kira, was teased and manipulated. I was not skimming. I was cursing right there along with her. Excellent job!

I love the respect that Mr. de la Sombra has for his characters as well. We are informed of Kira's desires. We know that she longs to receive the King's touch. Yet, the author does not suffocate us with an overly domineering King. Indeed, I can envision that the King spent many torcherous nights longing for Kira as well. Whether he did or not, to some degree, is left to the reader's imagination. I like that.

I do not like to be a complete sycophant, so I have thought up a few negatives as well.

First, there is the title, "Kira". How many erotic stories out there are simply named after a woman's name? The title needs to grab the reader's attention. The title needs leave the hapless reader no choice but to click its small link amongst the hundreds surrounding it and open the world of its story.

Second, the temptresses were apparently under duress to perform their job. Their failure would result in a particularly drawn out session of being sexually teased. As a punishment, that is a little flimsy. I have this vision of the three temptresses hanging around the bar after a hard day's night fighting over who's turn it is to fail.

"Jezra, I know that you pushed last night's victim over the edge prematurely just so you could fail! It was my turn to fail."

"No way, Mya. You failed two nights ago! It was my turn!"

"Oh yeah, Kim? But you failed three times last week alone."

Meanwhile, the dungeon is filled with particularly satisfied prisoners and a line out the back door knocking to get in. Certainly, the job of temptress would be an awesome job to be particularly bad at.

Congrats, Mr. de la Sombra. A wonderful story!

--subGrrl
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RE: subGrrl reviews

Unread postby Lobo » Sat Mar 24, 2012 9:11 pm

Thanks for your words about Kira, and I'm glad you enjoyed the story. It's not always easy to get the emotional aspects down properly, especially when you're a man writing from a woman's point of view. As to the two negatives...... *grinning* I do have to reply, you know. I generally try to keep the titles as simple as possible. Instead of a preview of the story, my title is, I guess, more of an invitation to click and ask yourself, "What kind of story is he telling this time?"
I really enjoy putting a little twist into the ending of my stories, and what good is a twist if the title untwists it before you start reading? For the second, pleasure as torture isn't something I think would be used a lot. Only for special cases. Besides, faced with the prospect of who knows how many hours, or days, of stimulation with no chance of relief, would you risk it? When pleasure becomes pain, and you can't tell the difference, you've been stimulated just a bit too much, I think. Anyway, thanks for your kind words about the story. I look forward to seeing whatever you might have to say about some of my other work.
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Re: subGrrl reviews

Unread postby gagged1 » Sat May 12, 2012 1:09 am

I would appreciate a review of "Of Female Bondage"

I had written a continuation, but I didn't like how it ended so never posted it. And now I have lost the text. So a suggestion for the rest of the story would be welcome, if you think it worthwhile.

You also might like "My Daring Self-Bondage Public Walk" and "Burka Bondage"

The problem with self bondage stories is that they are often too predictable. An account of a normal session where I got free without difficulty is too mundane. An account where I got stuck and then got free, although now fortunately rare, is too predicable. Discovery while bound is another well worn theme. I did have a dream about being abducted by aliens while in SB, but the dream was somewhat incoherent and in editing it to make it more seamless it became too unrealistic. (The point of the dream was simple, but it took too long to tell)

Anyway, I applaud and appreciate you spending time to write reviews.
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Re: subGrrl reviews

Unread postby subgrrl » Sat May 12, 2012 6:30 am

Ok, cool. I'll be happy to look at "Of Female Bondage". It may take a little time to get to it, but I will.

--subGrrl
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Re: subGrrl reviews

Unread postby graymangazer » Tue Sep 25, 2012 11:04 pm

I would love to have you comment on `Just browsing` by graymangazer, anything you say would be welcome.
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Re: subGrrl reviews

Unread postby subgrrl » Wed Sep 26, 2012 12:12 am

graymangazer wrote:I would love to have you comment on `Just browsing` by graymangazer, anything you say would be welcome.

ok... Let me reread it.
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Re: subGrrl reviews

Unread postby subgrrl » Sun Sep 30, 2012 6:26 pm

I recently read "Of Female Bondage" by gagged1.

Tags: F-f, f-self, reluctant, bondage, chastity, D/s, role, public nudity

Reception: utopia rank: 66; 4.56 stars

subGrrl compatibility: I am always worried that my reviews are heavily tainted by my own predilections. Indeed ALL erotic elements in this story are interesting to me.

Review in brief: Read it!

There will be spoilers, so read the story first.

There are many ways to develop conflict in a story. One way is to first give the reader a sense of what is "normal". Once the reader understands "normal", suddenly a kink is thrown in. The conflict, then, is watching how the characters react to "not normal".

Self bondage stories often use this style. A narrator, for example, instructs the reader how they plan to bind themselves and their expectations for extracting themselves or reaching some erotic nirvana. Then in the course of their bondage something unplanned happens and the character is challenged to adapt to the new circumstances.

"Of Female Bondage" uses this technique in an interesting manner. In the first part, the female narrator (named G) meticulously plans an outdoor, naked, bondage walk through the woods. This is the bit where the "normal" is painted for the reader. However, gagged1 shakes up the "not normal" presentation. The narrator just happens to come across another woman (Sabrina) who, by chance, is actually doing an outdoor, naked, bondage walk. The reader realizes immediately that the meeting of the two creates a "not normal" situation and the conflict - the erotic jeopardy - flows in.

It's a wonderful technique.

This approach also creates an interesting way for the reader to understand the narrator's desire to perform this activity. We see the fantasy. Rather than a long, dry bit describing why someone would want to walk naked and bound, we get to watch the narrator interact with Sabrina, the bound walker. This is where the Dom/sub elements come in.

Okay. There are some drawbacks to this story path. When G comes upon Sabrina, there is NO WAY to get around the sense that we have just entered fantasyland-wish-fulfillment-ville. What are the odds? But, you know, if the elements of this type of erotica are compatible with your tastes, who the fuck cares?!

I enjoyed this story.

The story also describes the first night together of what I hope will be a long and loving D/s relationship. I would gladly read about the secondo noche or anything else down the road.
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Re: subGrrl reviews

Unread postby subgrrl » Thu Oct 11, 2012 1:49 pm

I recently read "Just Browsing" by Graymangazer.

Tags: FFf, consensual, non-consensual, bondage, slavery, spanking, torture, tricked

Reception: utopia rank: 247; 4.39 stars; 121 votes

subGrrl compatibility: I am always worried that my reviews are heavily tainted by my own predilections. This story contains a number of elements that I like to read about in stories, however there are also a number of elements that I do not find erotic. Indeed, overall, I did not find this story particularly erotic. I think that the torture aspects were a bit too heavy handed for my tastes. So, I believe that it is possible that my review will be a bit more critical in that context. It's ok that I don't like the content. I will attempt to remain constructive in my review.

Review in brief: Read it. Regardless of the lower subGrrl compatibility rating, the story is well written and has wonderful elements to it. 121 voters can't be wrong!

There will be spoilers, so read the story first.


Yes. The story is well written. I can envision the action described vividly in my mind. The characters are distinguishable. Grammar and spelling are not a distraction.

This story relies on a common sex story trope. One commenter referred to it as a "sex toy shopping gone wrong" story. I think of it as a sex story fable where instead of dark woods we have racks of latex and leather for our little red riding hood, Sarah with an H, to go skipping off into. In this case the wolf is made of two characters, Megan and Dominique.

I've been trying to identify where the conflict arises in stories recently. Initially, this story seems to be about innocent Sarah and her unexplored interest in kinky sex, that is, woman-vs-herself. But, the point-of-view is 3rd person omniscient and we quickly find ourselves bouncing out of Sarah's head and into Megan's. I believe that this was used to foreshadow (or state outright perhaps) that things were not going to go well for Sarah. In fact, we forget about Sarah and her internal struggle while a new conflict is introduced: Megan versus Dominique. We are informed from the beginning that Dominique is despised - she is the antagonist.

Dominique is quite the sadistic bitch. She is easy to root against as she beats our poor, innocent, freshly-minted submissive black and blue.

You've already read the story, right?

The best part of the story is the resolution. As one rereads the story, one will find that, in fact, the whole story is built to deliver this resolution. I would even go so far as to say that we are manipulated to some degree in order for the resolution to be powerful. The resolution is so powerful, in fact, that some commenters stated that they belived that Megan had a "good heart" despite the fact that she has made lots of money trafficking innocent women into horrible lives of slavery and torture. (Hmmm...)

Many commenters requested a sequel, but I just think that they wanted more material from the author, Graymangazer. I think that the story stands alone. A sequel would contain the same characters, but it would be a different story.

I think that I would have preferred if the author had stuck to a single point of view, particularly, it would have been interesting and challenging to stay only in Megan's head and focus on her process of how she came to the particular decision that she made. But, while that might have made a more compelling story in my eyes, it may have detracted from the pacing of eroticism.

Overall, a well-written story, not for all tastes, but still, interesting.

Thank you for your effort and sharing the results with us.

Next up: a story of my choice from Darqside.
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