Where Do You Find Guys into Bondage?

Latest information for Gromet's Plaza, GaggedUtopia's Archive. Off-Topic discussion, suggestions and comments are always welcome.
BondageSub
Unfettered Newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: 09 Aug 2015, 23:58
Location: NYC

Where Do You Find Guys into Bondage?

Unread post by BondageSub »

Hopefully someone can help shed some light here; I'm having a hard time finding like minded guys into bondage. It might make things harder that I'm gay but it shouldn't really since it didn't take much persuasion to get my ex, who I thought wasn't into it, to break out the rope and do some light bondage when I prompted him one night. Unfortunately anything more involved than simple light bondage was too much "work" for him though... to which I explained it was actually play, not work.

Since we broke up last year it's been difficult. I'm on Recon and have played once with a handful of guys (very infrequently if it happens at all) who don't really seem to have much experience as doms or how to even tie a proper knot. I've ventured out to the NYC bondage Club also only to discover the guys around my age who are switches or more dominant work there and most going there already have some pre-arranged scene setup (most likely through FetLife or Recon I guess). I went during Folsom and most were out of town visitors. It's been a frustrating quest for the past couple of months, I look at Tumblr and see amazing amateur pics of bondage play with guys who are a good match and wonder "Where did they find eachother?"

Where does a young sub find a good dom around their own age? I'm also looking to date again and I wrestle with whether potential dates should be into bondage or not. I've heard of Munches (Munchies?) but have never been to one. With BDSM being mainstream it makes me wonder why it's so difficult though there are a lot of other subs compared to doms/ switches. Maybe I'm not looking in enough of the right places?

Any advice?

User avatar
stephanie_cd
Forever Mummified
Posts: 3246
Joined: 23 Nov 2005, 04:16

Re: Where Do You Find Guys into Bondage?

Unread post by stephanie_cd »

Based on what I've seen in my city, it's definitely worth exploring FetLife and making friends and/or contacts there. Here, FetLife seems to have most every local event listed, as well as a lot of smaller and more specific events like "Beginning Ropework" and roundtable discussion groups for doms, subs, and switches.

"Munches" are also a good way to get to know kinky people in what's usually a "vanilla environment." People get to mix and mingle in normal "street clothes" at a bar or restaurant, in a sort of "undercover" manner. While people may be discussing rope and floggers and so on, it's generally not noticeable by the rest of the "normal" patrons, so to the outsider it's "just a group of friends" who just happen to have kinky interests in common!

BondageSub
Unfettered Newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: 09 Aug 2015, 23:58
Location: NYC

Re: Where Do You Find Guys into Bondage?

Unread post by BondageSub »

Thanks Stephanie for the guidance.

I'm on FetLife but haven't logged in in months since it was difficult to find gay/ bi guys in the NYC area. It's worth another try, but I've heard the objective of the site isn't to meet people from there but is for getting oriented with the local kink community through events and such.

It seems a lot of kinky guys aren't on sites or very active within the community but instead muddle through trying to find like minded guys in the vanilla dating/ meeting friends at "normal" venues...

User avatar
stephanie_cd
Forever Mummified
Posts: 3246
Joined: 23 Nov 2005, 04:16

Re: Where Do You Find Guys into Bondage?

Unread post by stephanie_cd »

BondageSub wrote:I'm on FetLife but haven't logged in in months since it was difficult to find gay/ bi guys in the NYC area. It's worth another try, but I've heard the objective of the site isn't to meet people from there but is for getting oriented with the local kink community through events and such.
Exactly -- it's not a "dating site" per se, since there's no way to search for members in a certain area or of a certain age, but it can be a good way to "network" and meet friends of friends of virtual friends. Eventually and hopefully, someone will have a profile with interests similar to your own!

Post Reply