Sex and Bondage

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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby napy666 » Fri Apr 22, 2016 5:17 pm

And he does have a job. It just takes him a while to get money.
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby stephanie_cd » Fri Apr 22, 2016 7:18 pm

napy666 wrote:And he does have a job. It just takes him a while to get money.


According to you, he didn't have a job six posts ago on Wednesday:

napy666 wrote:Him and I have been together for a little over 1 year. We could get married, but we don't have the money to do a wedding, or buy any of the wedding items. and neither of us has a job, so no money to even buy ANYTHING. So.....


[Emphasis added]

If he already has a job, it just changes to "if he wants to have sex, he needs to get a better and/or better-paying job, in order to get more money faster, in order to pay for a relatively fancy wedding!"
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby tiemeupalso » Sat Apr 23, 2016 4:37 pm

again its back to all he wants is sex.pleasing you seems low on his priorty list.
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby napy666 » Mon Apr 25, 2016 12:02 am

tiemeupalso wrote:again its back to all he wants is sex.pleasing you seems low on his priorty list.


Yeah, thats what I am feeling.
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby napy666 » Mon Apr 25, 2016 12:03 am

stephanie_cd wrote:
napy666 wrote:And he does have a job. It just takes him a while to get money.


According to you, he didn't have a job six posts ago on Wednesday:

napy666 wrote:Him and I have been together for a little over 1 year. We could get married, but we don't have the money to do a wedding, or buy any of the wedding items. and neither of us has a job, so no money to even buy ANYTHING. So.....


[Emphasis added]

If he already has a job, it just changes to "if he wants to have sex, he needs to get a better and/or better-paying job, in order to get more money faster, in order to pay for a relatively fancy wedding!"


I honestly don't even know his job situation, he always says this and then another so its confusing. I know for a fact, it isn't a simple like "yeah he works at Jack in the Box from 9-5 7 days a week". No his job situation is always weird.
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby tiemeupalso » Mon Apr 25, 2016 4:22 pm

soundsw like to me he is lieing to you about his job.
either that or he is an international spy,which i doubt.
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby napy666 » Fri Apr 29, 2016 6:28 am

Haha, he has a job in training for the next 6 months, as a security guard. He has to get his training and guard card and all that.
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby Stahlketten » Fri Apr 29, 2016 9:23 pm

This situation seems to be getting uglier every time we find out more.

No interest in bondage
Overly controlling to the point where you are not allowed to play online
Keeps pestering about sex even after multiple agreements to wait until marriage
No money to get married even if he were interested which is questionable
No job and no income
No marketable skills to make money to get closer to the wedding day
No ability to communicate to the point where you have no real idea whether he is employed or not

Sounds like a pretty lousy set of circumstances to get married and create and support a family.
Have we missed anything here?

There are a lot of people in the world. Dump him and find someone more suitable.
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby stephanie_cd » Sat Apr 30, 2016 3:57 am

napy666 wrote:Haha, he has a job in training for the next 6 months, as a security guard. He has to get his training and guard card and all that.


SIX MONTHS?! What's he going to be doing for the other 25 weeks? :roll:

http://www.bsis.ca.gov/industries/g_train.shtml

http://www.securityguardtraininghq.com/ ... alifornia/
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby napy666 » Sat Apr 30, 2016 5:28 am

He is doing job training at this school or some place and he will likely work at this place after training is completed? He AGAIN brought up how he wants sex, just the other day this week. :(
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby napy666 » Sun May 01, 2016 6:45 pm

Is bondage sex? That's what my Boyfriend thinks, he says why do bondage and why have sex with it? Because bondage is sex. Yes bondage can have sexual intercourse involved with it, and then it cannot. It all depends on the pair at hand.

To me, I have always loved bondage, but my aspect of being into it, consisted of liking the aspect of being tied up and gagged, me being helpless and waiting to be saved, I really am into that damsel in distress role, I have mentioned it countless times.

But he insists that bondage is sex and has sexual intercourse end of story. He also went on to say that he isn't into bondage period. So me ever doing bondage again won't be happening, let alone role playing either.

What do you think, do you think bondage being sex?
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby steellover » Mon May 02, 2016 4:02 am

IMHO bondage is bondage, sex is sex, period. You can do them together or separately. One does not require the other. They are not the same thing. He is clearly trying to do anything he can to talk you into having sex and, from what you have said, will continue to do so until you give in. Personally, I'd give him the heave ho and move on. Love, however, is blind, deaf, dumb, stupid, and overwhelms any amount of common sense. You have to decide if you love him enough to accept his behavior as normal and live with it or not. Only you can make that decision but be honest with yourself when you do.
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby tiemeupalso » Mon May 02, 2016 8:00 pm

i agree,if he doesnt respect you enough to grant you wishes about sex and bondage,get rid of him.
i wish i could find somebody like you.
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby napy666 » Tue May 03, 2016 4:48 am

I want him and I to work things out so badly but him and I keep fighting and I am just making things worse.
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby tiemeupalso » Tue May 03, 2016 5:48 pm

you arent the one making things worse.it is his insisting on sex is whats the matter.what has he done to deserve a woman like you?
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby steellover » Wed May 04, 2016 2:16 am

Have you ever considered counselling? Sometimes having a neutral professional involved can give insights you'd never reach on your own. Of course, the ideal for counselling is to have both parties involved but if he refuses consider going on your own. It may help you work through your own issues at any rate. If finances are an issue there may be programs geared toward low income families that would help.
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby napy666 » Fri May 06, 2016 5:34 am

steellover wrote:Have you ever considered counselling? Sometimes having a neutral professional involved can give insights you'd never reach on your own. Of course, the ideal for counselling is to have both parties involved but if he refuses consider going on your own. It may help you work through your own issues at any rate. If finances are an issue there may be programs geared toward low income families that would help.



Him and I have considered couples counseling but he didn't make it for the appointment. And me going alone I don't have health insurance at the current time and if I did have to pay I'd like to pay little to $5-$20 at the max anything higher is too much money.
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby tiemeupalso » Fri May 06, 2016 4:07 pm

you have considered couneling and you arent even married yet.what a fucked up relationship.
i give up.you are helpless till you at least will consider finding someone else.
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby stephanie_cd » Sat May 07, 2016 7:03 pm

napy666 wrote:Him and I have considered couples counseling but he didn't make it for the appointment.


That's usually a "red flag" right there -- if someone doesn't make it to an appointment, that means that there's at least one thing they find more important than the relationship itself. If he couldn't make it because the hospital found a match for the kidney he needed or was donating, he gets a "pass." If "something came up at work" or "he forgot" that's a problem.

napy666 wrote:And me going alone I don't have health insurance at the current time and if I did have to pay I'd like to pay little to $5-$20 at the max anything higher is too much money.


"You get what you pay for" applies to many things, including relationship counseling. Right now you're getting free advice from an internet forum, which is probably better than asking random people at a bar or a death metal concert, but almost surely not as good as advice you would get from a professional.

Since you're not following through on any of the suggestions you're getting, though, maybe it's good that you're not spending (and thus wasting) any money.

It really sounds like you need to decide WHICH ONE of the following is THE MOST important and go from there: your relationship with "him," your love of bondage and roleplay, OR your views on premarital sex. You've already proven that you CANNOT successfully have all three, so at least one of the three has to go.
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby napy666 » Sun May 08, 2016 6:07 am

I want to have all three, because I love all of them very much. My Boyfriend and I got together yesturday but again I treated him poorly and we fought, we did talk things over but I just don't know. I love and care for him a lot and want this to work, but I am afraid the same cycle will happen again and again.
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