Sex and Bondage

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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby Franzia » Sun May 08, 2016 2:42 pm

napy666 wrote:...I am afraid the same cycle will happen again and again.

And so it will unless you can change something.

Since he's not interested in bondage and apparently was only doing it to please you, is there anything you could offer in return? If not sex, might there be something else you could do for him?
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby napy666 » Sun May 08, 2016 9:05 pm

Franzia wrote:
napy666 wrote:...I am afraid the same cycle will happen again and again.

And so it will unless you can change something.

Since he's not interested in bondage and apparently was only doing it to please you, is there anything you could offer in return? If not sex, might there be something else you could do for him?


Him and I have done sexual stuff, oral sex, hand jobs, fingered, all that stuff, but he says its not good enough for him, he wants sexual intercourse, and has a high sex drive.
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby Jimdini » Sun May 08, 2016 10:10 pm

Just face the facts. Either you give in and have intercourse or you end the relationship! Submit or stand on your own two feet!
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby stephanie_cd » Mon May 09, 2016 3:29 pm

napy666 wrote:I want to have all three, because I love all of them very much.


Of course you WANT all three ( or you wouldn't have started this thread and many others like it) but it's looking more and more like you're not going to be able to HAVE all three.

napy666 wrote:My Boyfriend and I got together yesturday but again I treated him poorly and we fought, we did talk things over but I just don't know. I love and care for him a lot and want this to work, but I am afraid the same cycle will happen again and again.


It's BEEN happening again and again, and unless something major changes, it's probably going to continue.

Suggestions have been made: counseling, dumping this one and finding a new boyfriend, giving up on bondage, or giving up your quaint views on premarital sex. It's unrealistic for you to expect him to give up HIS biological and societal need for sex, especially since it's coming up here more often.

Talking things over is all well and good, but unless you two came to some MAJOR decision that you hadn't reached before, you won't break the cycle.
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby napy666 » Wed May 11, 2016 4:22 am

Yeah him and I have talked things over and things are going fine between us now.
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby stephanie_cd » Wed May 11, 2016 4:20 pm

Congratulations!

Did you arrive at any major discoveries or breakthroughs this time?
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby napy666 » Fri May 13, 2016 1:13 am

stephanie_cd wrote:Congratulations!

Did you arrive at any major discoveries or breakthroughs this time?


Ha well things are back to the way they were, and he says he wants sex, he wants that bonding, close-ness with what comes when having sex with someone, and he wants sex in his relationship, but again goes back to wanting us to breakup and then says he wants us together. And that he's frustrated with his life and this and that. So I am thinking him and I may have to break up this time but still not sure.
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby d3vious.g3nius » Fri May 13, 2016 1:49 am

Being that you've never had "sex" you don't understand the concept of intimacy he is talking about. How could you! Beyond your endless referencing of it as simply "sex", there is "making love". It is not the same thing and puts your relationship on a different level in terms of closeness and belonging.

But these are your choices, so you have to deal with them in the relationships you have. As we all do.
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby napy666 » Fri May 13, 2016 10:28 pm

d3vious.g3nius wrote:Being that you've never had "sex" you don't understand the concept of intimacy he is talking about. How could you! Beyond your endless referencing of it as simply "sex", there is "making love". It is not the same thing and puts your relationship on a different level in terms of closeness and belonging.

But these are your choices, so you have to deal with them in the relationships you have. As we all do.


How I can get that intimacy that he is referring too then? Isn't us making out, and doing other sexual acts, oral sex, hand jobs, finger, etc. Good enough?
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby Stahlketten » Fri May 13, 2016 11:30 pm

Intimacy is a mental relationship.
Don't let people convince you that sexual intercourse is the only way to achieve it.
If you are already involved with other sexual play with the exception of intercourse, and still don't feel the intimacy with your partner, perhaps you two are not really a good match.
My personal opinion is that for the man, good oral sex is better than good intercourse.
Intercourse makes for a good "conquest" though.
Sounds like there is a general disagreement that simply does not go away.
It hides for a while but keeps coming back.
One of you craves bondage. The other craves intercourse and doesn't really care about bondage.
Which one of you will change to accommodate the other?
The signs from here are that this relationship is doomed from the start.
There are lots of people in this world and as you can see from here, many of them ARE interested in kinky games.
Why not find one of them more compatible and with a more promising future and just move on?

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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby d3vious.g3nius » Sat May 14, 2016 12:30 am

Yes, please Stahlketten, convince women that to a man having his cock sucked is more intimate/fulfilling than making to love to her! Unfuckingbelievable :?
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby napy666 » Sat May 14, 2016 5:32 am

d3vious.g3nius wrote:Yes, please Stahlketten, convince women that to a man having his cock sucked is more intimate/fulfilling than making to love to her! Unfuckingbelievable :?


Well it could be, couldn't it?
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby stephanie_cd » Sat May 14, 2016 4:35 pm

napy666 wrote:
stephanie_cd wrote:Congratulations!

Did you arrive at any major discoveries or breakthroughs this time?


Ha well things are back to the way they were, and he says he wants sex, he wants that bonding, close-ness with what comes when having sex with someone, and he wants sex in his relationship, but again goes back to wanting us to breakup and then says he wants us together. And that he's frustrated with his life and this and that. So I am thinking him and I may have to break up this time but still not sure.


So short answer: "no, nothing changed. Again." :P

napy666 wrote:How I can get that intimacy that he is referring too then? Isn't us making out, and doing other sexual acts, oral sex, hand jobs, finger, etc. Good enough?


Obviously not, or he wouldn't be wanting "sex."

napy666 wrote:Well it could be, couldn't it?


You should probably start reading "Cosmo" instead of hanging around here -- seriously. Explaining sex to a virgin is like explaining music to someone who was born deaf, and no matter how good the explanation is, it barely scratches the surface of the real thing.

Really great sex is an intimate, full body, mentally engaging experience of mutual give and take that ideally should leave both people laying there panting and saying "oh, wow!"

It's (sort of) the equivalent of you both having an amazing six course dinner at a fancy restaurant, while a blow job is the equivalent of "hey, can you pick me up a burger on your way home?" The first will leave both of you saying "omigod, that was amazing!" while the second will leave him saying "thanks" and merely leave you with the satisfaction of doing him a favor.
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby Stahlketten » Sat May 14, 2016 6:51 pm

d3vious.g3nius wrote:Yes, please Stahlketten, convince women that to a man having his cock sucked is more intimate/fulfilling than making to love to her! Unfuckingbelievable :?


The total experience is different, but I would vote that the physical sensations of really good oral sex beat really good intercourse. Really good oral sex while tied to the bed is one of the best physical experiences I can think of. The oral sex can give sensations all over your body. I remember with one lady it was like getting the INSIDE of my shoulders, belly and chest tickled all at the same time.
Consider the best intercourse you ever had. How much did it depend on having your penis in her vagina and how much of the experience was everything else that happened that night?
Having an orgasm was important, but did it really matter how she gave you the orgasm?

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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby d3vious.g3nius » Sat May 14, 2016 11:47 pm

Stahlketten wrote:The total experience is different, but I would vote that the physical sensations of really good oral sex beat really good intercourse. Really good oral sex while tied to the bed is one of the best physical experiences I can think of. The oral sex can give sensations all over your body. I remember with one lady it was like getting the INSIDE of my shoulders, belly and chest tickled all at the same time.
Consider the best intercourse you ever had. How much did it depend on having your penis in her vagina and how much of the experience was everything else that happened that night?
Having an orgasm was important, but did it really matter how she gave you the orgasm?

- Stahlketten.
When it's about intimacy and making love(intercourse if you must) the orgasm isn't important at all ;) It was simply a by product of closeness and connection. The sharing a moment in time to the one person you love the most in the world, as you stare into each others EYES! This kind of experience doesn't end with "Oh my gawd that was fucking amazing... blahblahblah", sometimes it simply ended with continued smiles and laughter. No words spoken at all, or simply an "I love you" escaped our lips.

You described an amazing sexual experience given to you, by your very own words. I can only think that maybe you haven't had this kind on experience, or maybe if you did and it didn't really matter, these things I don't know. But clearly we are talking about two different things.

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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby napy666 » Sun May 15, 2016 8:02 am

Well my Boyfriend and I, ended things earlier today, we wanted to stay together and keep trying but both knew, the same cycle would happen again. Maybe in a couple of months, we could try again if things changed for both of us but who knows. But for now, we have moved on.
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby stephanie_cd » Sun May 15, 2016 3:51 pm

napy666 wrote:Well my Boyfriend and I, ended things earlier today, we wanted to stay together and keep trying but both knew, the same cycle would happen again. Maybe in a couple of months, we could try again if things changed for both of us but who knows. But for now, we have moved on.


Here's hoping that you BOTH find what you're looking for in a relationship now! :D
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby napy666 » Sun May 15, 2016 5:59 pm

stephanie_cd wrote:
napy666 wrote:Well my Boyfriend and I, ended things earlier today, we wanted to stay together and keep trying but both knew, the same cycle would happen again. Maybe in a couple of months, we could try again if things changed for both of us but who knows. But for now, we have moved on.


Here's hoping that you BOTH find what you're looking for in a relationship now! :D


Yeah I guess so.
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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby Stahlketten » Mon May 16, 2016 1:46 am

d3vious.g3nius wrote:When it's about intimacy and making love(intercourse if you must) the orgasm isn't important at all ;) It was simply a by product of closeness and connection. The sharing a moment in time to the one person you love the most in the world, as you stare into each others EYES! This kind of experience doesn't end with "Oh my gawd that was fucking amazing... blahblahblah", sometimes it simply ended with continued smiles and laughter. No words spoken at all, or simply an "I love you" escaped our lips.

You described an amazing sexual experience given to you, by your very own words. I can only think that maybe you haven't had this kind on experience, or maybe if you did and it didn't really matter, these things I don't know. But clearly we are talking about two different things.

- d.g


It sounds to me like we are actually in agreement much as you would like to say otherwise:
How much of the entire "intimate experience" that you describe actually REQUIRED having a penis inside a vagina?
I say most of it does not depend on the actual act of intercourse.
I can remember enough times there were reasons my partner at the time was willing to do anything else but intercourse was definitely out. (Think yeast infection, time of the month, etc.)
The lack of intercourse did not detract greatly from the overall experience.

So how are we actually disagreeing here?

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Re: Sex and Bondage

Unread postby d3vious.g3nius » Mon May 16, 2016 3:49 am

Stahlketten wrote:So how are we actually disagreeing here?

- Stahlketten.
Looking back and rereading what we each have stated, I have no idea!


Good day to you,
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