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Virgin Saving Self for Marriage a Thing of the Past?

Unread postPosted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 6:30 pm
by napy666
I am a virgin, almost 30, come this fall, and I am saving myself for marriage to have sexual intercourse. I am proud to be a virgin, but trying to find another person that is a virgin, and wants to save themselves for marriage is difficult and I don't think I will ever find someone like that, that wants the same as I do. I have tried religious dating websites and apps, but even those guys aren't into waiting, let alone saving themselves for marriage. Not sure where else to look or what to do. Am I a really bad person for being a virgin and wanting to save myself for marriage? Since not many do this sort of thing anymore. What should I do?

Re: Virgin Saving Self for Marriage a Thing of the Past?

Unread postPosted: Sat Mar 18, 2017 1:21 pm
by LockedInALocker
     Not ever having been into dating, and being a single person, I cannot answer your question about where to look for a partner who has the values you want, and I don't know how common or rare it is now for people to share your view about virginity (except that it seems clear it is now less common than a few decades ago); but I am curious about where you got the idea that being a virgin and wishing to remain so until marriage makes you a bad person. This is purely up to you and what you believe in and wish to live by, and I don't see it as either good or bad inherently. If anyone has said that your values on this are bad, or implied that by the comments they make, I would say that this narrowness of outlook (regarding something different from themselves as bad) simply demonstrates that you don't need to take any notice of their opinion. If you are sure this is the way you wish to live, I would encourage not to take those opposing, intolerant views seriously.

Regards, Michael.

Re: Virgin Saving Self for Marriage a Thing of the Past?

Unread postPosted: Sat Mar 18, 2017 2:08 pm
by Petrajane
Yes, you are correct, saving yourself for marriage does seem to be a thing of the past. A shame really. It used to mean so much more in my youth, being a virgin and saving yourself I mean.

I'm sure many of the girls in my class lost their virginity whilst still at school even them, and probably regret it to this day.

The comment about christianity dating sites does however suprise me greatly. I'm by no means religious though my late mother was but I always assumed that those religious types where more willing to be chaste until marriage.

Mind you, anyone like me who likes dressing up and bondage ain't going to find too much sympathy from the religious crowd I fear.

Good on you for wanting to remain a virgin until you find that one true soul.

Re: Virgin Saving Self for Marriage a Thing of the Past?

Unread postPosted: Thu Mar 23, 2017 7:37 pm
by FatherOfFour
Besides technicalities (Your interest in bondage, Your ex-boyfriend, ...) there is a serious trade-off:
A. - Usually, by living/having sex together/ being engaged for a time before marriage assures You a trial period, some sort of return policy we're used with as educated customers...
Certainly, there is no certitude in marriage (>50% fail), but at least You could weed out the unfits!
B. - By marrying a virgin, You put other constrains (family, economics, blue-blood, politics) above Your sexual match, and expose the relation to the old triangle or more... but, divorce usually is out of the question...

So, it's not a question about the past, but about the future!
What do You want from Your Marriage?

Also, What will You both virgins do in the deep dark of the Wedding Night?

Have fun, with or without sex...
f4

Re: Virgin Saving Self for Marriage a Thing of the Past?

Unread postPosted: Fri Mar 24, 2017 5:09 am
by Stahlketten
Virginity and lack of knowledge are not necessarily the same.
Just because you have never had intercourse doesn't mean you haven't experimented with a lot of other related things and do not know what to do or even what pleases you.
There is a kind of attraction to you and your partner discovering and exploring sex for the first time with each other.

Napy666,
You decide how important this is to you and what you want. If it is what you want, you don't need to keep asking for assurances and validation from others to keep doing what you are doing.
There are billions of people in this world and in some cultures, premarital sex is not so common. Even in our culture, it seems to come around in cycles.

Re: Virgin Saving Self for Marriage a Thing of the Past?

Unread postPosted: Fri Mar 24, 2017 2:54 pm
by Franzia
Yes, you need not ask for assurances or validation from us- judging from the replies, we understand your views even if no one else does. Now if only some of the regulars here were located in California, your search might be successful.

Re: Virgin Saving Self for Marriage a Thing of the Past?

Unread postPosted: Fri Mar 24, 2017 5:57 pm
by napy666
Yeah I just don't see myself finding my special someone, I just don't think he exists and I will be forever alone.

Re: Virgin Saving Self for Marriage a Thing of the Past?

Unread postPosted: Wed Mar 29, 2017 2:06 am
by Stahlketten
napy666.
If I were your age. the remaining a virgin part would be something I could respect and deal with.
Wanting to keep your virginity would actually have been attractive to me back when I was your age.
The idea that you have a great attraction to bondage would be another rare positive at least in my case.
I believe there are a few other factors that are affecting your ability to find a suitable partner and virginity is not the greatest of them.
I do not know you and have never even met you but what I perceive from your communications here is that you are very particular about what you like and are not flexible in your play. You also seem to be quite needy and not terribly secure in your views. You have outright asked why people were not interested in on-line role playing with you. Even in online role playing, there were so many restrictions which made no sense in an entirely imaginary game that there was no reason left to play. What are you offering as a submissive, either real or imaginary that would keep your partner interested in coming back for more?
Perhaps this response was a bit too direct and perhaps my perceptions are incorrect in your case, but this is the impression I have been getting from what I have seen here. This was not meant to be insulting. It is only a quantification of what I perceive and why.

- Stahlketten

Re: Virgin Saving Self for Marriage a Thing of the Past?

Unread postPosted: Wed Mar 29, 2017 6:30 pm
by napy666
Oh I see.

Re: Virgin Saving Self for Marriage a Thing of the Past?

Unread postPosted: Wed Mar 29, 2017 11:32 pm
by napy666
Well I will not disclose those matters sorry. I am saving myself for marriage and I know what I like and what I do not like and it is going to remain that way sorry.

Re: Virgin Saving Self for Marriage a Thing of the Past?

Unread postPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2017 4:01 am
by Stahlketten
Who ever asked you to disclose ANYTHING?
My objective is not to meet you.
I just thought you might want to know how you appear to others (at least to me) because the things you saw as big issues are not the biggest as I see them.

Re: Virgin Saving Self for Marriage a Thing of the Past?

Unread postPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2017 5:21 pm
by tiemeupalso
stick to your beliefs and dont give yourself away.
stay a virgin as long as you please.
as far as finding someone else that will happen when it happens and you will know then.

Re: Virgin Saving Self for Marriage a Thing of the Past?

Unread postPosted: Mon Apr 03, 2017 8:16 pm
by napy666
tiemeupalso wrote:stick to your beliefs and dont give yourself away.
stay a virgin as long as you please.
as far as finding someone else that will happen when it happens and you will know then.



I hope that I can find someone but I highly doubt I ever will honestly. Come on now, I am almost 30, I should have already been married with my own job, car, and place of my own, and yet I have none of those things, or marriage. It just sucks everyone else is going up the ladder and I am not. :(

Re: Virgin Saving Self for Marriage a Thing of the Past?

Unread postPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2017 5:12 pm
by tiemeupalso
i would really love to do bondage on you,just for the sake of bondage.
do you really want to know you fucked your way up the ladder and didnt get there because of your skills?

Re: Virgin Saving Self for Marriage a Thing of the Past?

Unread postPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2017 7:10 pm
by napy666
What skills are you referring too? As in sexual intercourse or bondage sense? Bondage sense is easy, I am the submission damsel in distress role. And sex isn't happening until I am married.

Re: Virgin Saving Self for Marriage a Thing of the Past?

Unread postPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2017 2:41 pm
by tiemeupalso
the skills of whatever career you decide to persue.

Re: Virgin Saving Self for Marriage a Thing of the Past?

Unread postPosted: Thu Apr 20, 2017 4:18 am
by napy666
Uh ok, I guess.

Re: Virgin Saving Self for Marriage a Thing of the Past?

Unread postPosted: Fri Apr 21, 2017 1:32 pm
by Kleanthes
First of all: Do whatever feels right to you. There's no sense in doing something that feels wrong, so if you don't want to have sex, don't have sex. That's the simple part.

Of course, there are some points I would like to make:

First of all, let's not forget that the idea of "no sex before marriage" comes from a time where you simply wouldn't have been unwed with 30. That was something that didn't happen very often. So, what you are doing here is taking one specific idea from another time, but without also taking the whole context in which this idea might have made sense.
Back then, your parents would have told you to marry X when you were 20. End of story. You don't love him? Come one, love will come, or at least a bit of sympathy. You don't have anything in common? Who cares. etc. So, what you are expecting today is something that you would not have gotten back then, a modern marriage - but with both virginities intact. And of course, that's a problem, because you want a modern partner, someone to fall in love with, with common interests, etc. - but you want him to be into the whole antiquated stuff, too.
Doesn't take a rocket scientist to tell you that this combination will be hard to find (but not impossible - people sometimes also win the lottery). Perhaps it would be easier to let your parents determine someone to marry for you?

And second, don't believe that nonsense that is sometimes floating around. Sex is something nice to have. Sometimes it's messy, sometimes it's akward, but often it's great. Most people don't regret having sex, because sex doesn't make you lesser, it doesn't take something away from you, it doesn't make you bad or broken. The people who regret it are the people who believe that they have to regret it, so it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Of course, if you tell people that having sex will make them bad, then they will feel bad after having sex, wow, what a suprise. Sex is only as dirty as you wish it to be. And sex doesn't make you a lesser person, no matter with whom or how often.

Personally, I wish you happiness and if that's what makes you happy, stick with it. But if it doesn't, then I suggest asking yourself, what you actually want and why you want that.

Re: Virgin Saving Self for Marriage a Thing of the Past?

Unread postPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2017 1:08 am
by napy666
Kleanthes wrote:First of all: Do whatever feels right to you. There's no sense in doing something that feels wrong, so if you don't want to have sex, don't have sex. That's the simple part.

Of course, there are some points I would like to make:

First of all, let's not forget that the idea of "no sex before marriage" comes from a time where you simply wouldn't have been unwed with 30. That was something that didn't happen very often. So, what you are doing here is taking one specific idea from another time, but without also taking the whole context in which this idea might have made sense.
Back then, your parents would have told you to marry X when you were 20. End of story. You don't love him? Come one, love will come, or at least a bit of sympathy. You don't have anything in common? Who cares. etc. So, what you are expecting today is something that you would not have gotten back then, a modern marriage - but with both virginities intact. And of course, that's a problem, because you want a modern partner, someone to fall in love with, with common interests, etc. - but you want him to be into the whole antiquated stuff, too.
Doesn't take a rocket scientist to tell you that this combination will be hard to find (but not impossible - people sometimes also win the lottery). Perhaps it would be easier to let your parents determine someone to marry for you?

And second, don't believe that nonsense that is sometimes floating around. Sex is something nice to have. Sometimes it's messy, sometimes it's akward, but often it's great. Most people don't regret having sex, because sex doesn't make you lesser, it doesn't take something away from you, it doesn't make you bad or broken. The people who regret it are the people who believe that they have to regret it, so it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Of course, if you tell people that having sex will make them bad, then they will feel bad after having sex, wow, what a suprise. Sex is only as dirty as you wish it to be. And sex doesn't make you a lesser person, no matter with whom or how often.

Personally, I wish you happiness and if that's what makes you happy, stick with it. But if it doesn't, then I suggest asking yourself, what you actually want and why you want that.


Thanks for those words of advice. I am going to stick to my guns and remain a virgin until I get married. It is what I want to do.

Re: Virgin Saving Self for Marriage a Thing of the Past?

Unread postPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2017 5:09 am
by joe01
I completely understand where you are coming from. I'm a 26 year old virgin male and plan on keeping it that way until marriage. I had a handful of opportunities to lose my virginity in high school and college, but couldn't do so because I'm old fashioned, I guess. Some nights get very depressing realizing everyone my age is getting married or is sleeping around.

I very strongly used to feel I wanted to marry a virgin and still do, but with each passing day it seems more and more impossible. Add on the fact that I'm a submissive male and my chances of winding up with someone feels pretty much 0.

I commend you for your strong morals and wish you best of luck.