What's happening to everybody?

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RE: What's happening to everybody?

Unread postby restricted » Fri Aug 19, 2011 3:38 am

I've just been looking through my list of contacts and see they are gradually disappearing.
Jennie. We know the sad tale of her. Feline, Phoebe, Amy, Melody. Where have they all gone? Has Gagged Utopia captured them and is keeping them locked up in a deep dark dungeon?
(I'm now looking over my shoulder in case I am being followed)
 
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RE: What's happening to everybody?

Unread postby happily_locked » Fri Aug 19, 2011 6:33 am

I think many of us old folks have moved on, rather than interact with the new people, who hijack threads, cannot or will not spell or use proper grammar, and who seem to know everything. Other sites I frequent do not tolerate a 25 year od who calls himself a master, since it takes a decade or more to learn the skills one should have to be a competent master.

Perhaps they have come here, since this site seems to tolerate them. Except for a note from the mods about not tolerating some of the things they discuss, I have not seen anyone trying to keep this site what it once was. Some of them even say that us old-timers are participating in their fantasies when we are not. MsBehavin had to correct one recently. I post here much less than I did because most threads are rubbish, and the new folks make many posts instead of one, just to increase the number of their posts. Others come here only to advertise for their pay sites. The result for me is that I add those sites to the list of places to avoid.happily_locked2011-08-19 07:34:26
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RE: What's happening to everybody?

Unread postby pleasewrap » Fri Aug 19, 2011 7:10 am

It's really just "natural" in many forums.  participating takes some effort, particularly compared to media like Twitter or FB.  So members show up, stick around for a while, and go.  Life gets in the way, they find new places to spend their time, they find new relationships.

I participate on a good number of forums and e-mail lists.  Happens on all of them.
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RE: What's happening to everybody?

Unread postby stephanie_cd » Fri Aug 19, 2011 7:39 am

[quote="restricted"]I've just been looking through my list of contacts and see they are gradually disappearing.
Jennie. We know the sad tale of her. Feline, Phoebe, Amy, Melody. Where have they all gone?[/quote]
"Gradually" over the course of two years?? Tongue  But as pleasewrap said, this is one of the sad facts of life on the internet. People come along, join semi-anonymously, participate exactly as much or as little as they want to, for as long as they want to, and then slowly and gradually drift away. Sometimes they say something, sometimes they don't. I've made some great friends since I got my first computer and started online gaming, and have even met a few in person. I've also had quite a few come out and actually SAY  "well, time to move on" and promise to stay in touch, and a couple actually have done that while the rest just drifted away. A week between e-mails, two weeks, a month, three months, poof. And of course, it appears that MOST people just slowly and silently vanish. 

Melody: posted a "hi, it's been a while" in March, hasn't logged on since.

Phoebe: last posted/logged on July 2009. I DO know that she got rather busy with life in a good way, but I'm not sure how much more of HER information I should give out.

Feline: last posted/logged on October 2009.

[quote=happily_locked]I think many of us old folks have moved on, rather than interact with the new people, who hijack threads, cannot or will not spell or use proper grammar, and who seem to know everything.[/quote]
Let's not forget the ones who know absolutely NOTHING:

"where can i buy rope lol?" "what's a ballgag?" "how do I tie a knot?" "what stores sell tape?"

They found THIS site somehow, so you might think they could find and use a search engine for the really easy questions, right?
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RE: What's happening to everybody?

Unread postby RGbargy » Fri Aug 19, 2011 11:43 am

Hmm, insulting members may not be the best way to encourage them? On the other hand.... There does seem a lack of sparkle and innovation. There are some excellent photos but I am finding it hard to participate when there are so few interesting or provocative threads. I do miss Phoebe amongst others although the caption ideas had gone stale even before she left. I suppose things go in cycles and we are on a bit of a low at present. Perhaps someone can take up the story critic post? There is enough material on Gromet and Utopia to last almost a lifetime. What we need is somthing (or somone?) to get our teeth into...
 
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RE: What's happening to everybody?

Unread postby Sylli » Fri Aug 19, 2011 11:52 am

[quote="RGbargy"]

Hmm, insulting members may not be the best way to encourage them? On the other hand.... There does seem a lack of sparkle and innovation.
 
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[/quote]

I don't know if that's really insulting. I mean, I guess it's a lot more insulting to have 50 new threads each day all asking the same 4 or 5 basic questions... Not saying that I'm the world best poster either, but it does stand out a little bit.

I don't really know where everyone went, I know that it's a trend not only here, but in other Fora as well, and even BDSM RP sites. I guess it all shifted with a new generation, that isn't looking to participate anymore, but just to get entertained....
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RE: What's happening to everybody?

Unread postby VintageGordon » Fri Aug 19, 2011 1:20 pm

Although I havent been here as long as most of yous here I have also noticed that things have sort of died down.   I know some people like mdun have not been posting lately because of personal reasons and I assumed for a while it was because people had been signing up for Fetlife, but I think it might have something to do with certain members already on this forum.   Because quite often I've been yelled at or accused of all sorts of thing just for puting a joke in a post, or if someone comes up (continued)
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RE: What's happening to everybody?

Unread postby VintageGordon » Fri Aug 19, 2011 1:41 pm

with a scinario I think I could try myself but have questions about how I could try it I find that most peoples answers are rather conservitive so I have to ask lots of questions so after a while someone yells at me saying why did I not start my own topic.   I'm not saying that I'm a perfect poster but if one of yous did a double post I imagine I would ask you why before yelling at you.   This site isnt all bad in fact most people here are friendly and very open just the few that make things less good.
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RE: What's happening to everybody?

Unread postby Franzia » Fri Aug 19, 2011 2:18 pm

I miss Phoebe, but at least I'm happy to hear she vanished because she's too busy in a good way.   If only that was true for others, especially Jennie.    

One main change I've noticed with the forum is there seems to be fewer active women here at present, which is unfortunate.   Other things like wannabe Doms, post hijacking (accidental or otherwise), pay site ads, "empty" posts, etc. have always been here so one has to kind of sort through the fluff.   All forums have this to a certain degree, unless they are ruled with an iron fist- and if they are, good luck with encouraging any newbies to suggest an idea.

Of course it may very well be that many of the young people can no longer participate in a forum because their attention spans have "Twittered" away...

And Gordon~ I see your point but why did you continue or break your above post into two??   You spoke of double posting in a type of double post!!    In that situation you could have used the edit function to add the second to the first one.
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RE: What's happening to everybody?

Unread postby roboman » Fri Aug 19, 2011 2:23 pm

   Oh hell, an old guy conversation about the world changing and the dam kids rushing around with no skills, knowledge or abilities. Here I am, joining in. A million years ago I heard from some one some where that we start out life with a very small world that is just family and home. The world grows and we race out to discover it and what we are. We try and become the masters of our bit of the world, then the world starts to become smaller. As time goes by, am I comfortable, what's for dinner and when was the last time I used the lue become the main scope of our world.

   Over the last year and a half I burried my father, grandfather and the last couple uncles. I'm now the old guy in the family and realized I'm the crazy old great uncle who ran all over the world and did all kinds of wild things. Lots of friends have come and gone. The magic formulia for making friends seems to be just happining to be in the same place and working on discovering things that seem to, matter together. If it's something that seems to matter a great deal, a monumental project, and you have a simular direction, a relationship of some sort develops. When directions and interests change people drift off and the new people coming in aren't with you discovering and exporing new things with you. The frantic and desperate questions that come up aren't a fellow traveler discovering things the both of you hadn't known existed and thinking you may be discovering something totaly new and unexplored, they are old and rehashed. All the old friends went off to explore a new thing with new people or just settled down and gave up exploring an area they felt they had explored as much as they wished, ending most of the shared interest that held your friendship together. 
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RE: What's happening to everybody?

Unread postby d3vious_g3nius » Fri Aug 19, 2011 2:49 pm

Great post roboman Clap

I think it's just life and how it transpires differently for us all. Age demographics definitely plays a huge part in this threads concern.
The life style of the young vs. middle vs older, and the "inbetweens"

Also, nothing seems to infuse "life" in the forum more than female interaction. Especially if that is coupled with females who are open,
experimental and sharing. Nothing new here, huh?!

While I understand the OP's dismay, it just the way it is!

 - d_g
 

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RE: What's happening to everybody?

Unread postby LockedInALocker » Fri Aug 19, 2011 3:08 pm

[quote="Franzia"]Of course it may very well be that many of the young people can no longer participate in a forum because their attention spans have "Twittered" away...[/quote]
     If an alien species wanted to take over earth and dominate it, they may not need to use armies or fancy weapons - if they were prepared to take their time over it, maybe they could just introduce Twitter, and wait for all the youngsters to fall for it, have their attention spans so shortened that their efforts to do anything sustained are scattered. Then the aliens could come in, and everyone (the hitherto youngsters, now grown up and many in leadership positions) would be so scattered that they would not be able to plan an effective defence, and would be subjugated.
     Science and science-fiction author Arthur C. Clarke said maybe 40 years ago, "Those whom the gods would destroy, they first give television." Maybe being conquered by Twitter is an updated version of that.

Regards, Michael.

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RE: What's happening to everybody?

Unread postby VintageGordon » Fri Aug 19, 2011 3:14 pm

@ Franzia The reason I double post is because last week my computer broke and the house computer is in the kitchen.   So for the past week I've been puting posts up on a PSP which is very limited in its abilities for example any posts I do can only be so long so for longer posts I have to edit it so it fits or double post.   Also I cant even select the post options so if I do want to add something to a post I have to add a new post or forget about it.
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RE: What's happening to everybody?

Unread postby Dianag » Fri Aug 19, 2011 3:22 pm

Is it my imagination, or has the reduction in contributions tied in with the global recession? I wonder if those who used to post regularly have other priorities these days - like keeping their jobs/homes etc. so cannot spare the time for "luxuries" like browsing their old web sites. Also, people develope. I know I haven't been as regular a visitor to this site as I used to. Possibly a combination of both ideas?
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RE: What's happening to everybody?

Unread postby MsBehavin » Fri Aug 19, 2011 3:42 pm


Ok so the story so far as I see it... Phoebe and co have been spirited away by aliens... mummified they reside snugly in individual travel capsules only able to tweet their thoughts to each other.... meanwhile here on earth the age divide leads into a two tier level of communication developing here on the forum where the over 30s having the ability to use google take over the forum and the WORLD.... MUAH HA HA HA HAAAA!

Being female AND Dominant does that mean I get to be Queen?

Seriously... a thing I would like to see whatever the age of posters is sensible questions asked by folk who have first used the search facility to read around the subject so there isn't the same old rehash of old, old topics. Another would be for a little more fun between posters... some threads have been an absolute scream (remember the calculation of the volume of a double dildo Bob, Steph_cd and Knot?). Finally, this is a forum of discussion and a spirited debate is great too... and for me a point of view different to my own that's eloquently put is irresistible.

As others have mentioned even forum regulars are subject to the natural selection that comes with real life but everyday there are new members registering... new life blood to the group.

The status quo is constantly changing - nothing else is more certain.
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RE: What's happening to everybody?

Unread postby GuidoG » Fri Aug 19, 2011 7:42 pm

First and foremost, I would like to apologise for my "younger" generation. I myself am 21, I have been interested in bondage for a while but only by browsing the internet and has only been recently that I have been able to start spreading out and purchasing fun, so my questions are usually due to the fact that I like to ask more experienced people their opinions of what is best and what is not. So I ask you to bear with me if I ask questions that seem stupid. And finally I apologise for myself if I am one of those annoying members.
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RE: What's happening to everybody?

Unread postby happily_locked » Sat Aug 20, 2011 10:42 am

A perfect example of one of the reasons I visit less and post less is about 9 posts up, where vintage gordon made two posts, the first ending with "(continued)" when a single post should have been made. That post also has quite a few spelling errors, which spelling checker would catch. I never respond to posts like that, and over time, they drive me to other sites.

Like MsBehavin, I find many of the posts seem to indicate that the poster cannot use, or is too lazy to use, the search facility of their choice, because a simple search for what they ask will return hundreds of references to it. Those posts not worth the time to reply, either.

The result is that I now need to read many, many posts to find anything interesting here. Therefore I show up less and less often. This site is going downhill more and more quickly. Most of the friends I have here are also on other sites, and we communicate there MORE EASILY. I have not thought it worth communicating with a newcomer for months.

This site is becoming a waste of my time, no longer interesting.
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RE: What's happening to everybody?

Unread postby stephanie_cd » Sat Aug 20, 2011 1:23 pm

[quote="happily_locked"]A perfect example of one of the reasons I visit less and post less is about 9 posts up, where vintage gordon made two posts, the first ending with "(continued)" when a single post should have been made. That post also has quite a few spelling errors, which spelling checker would catch. I never respond to posts like that, and over time, they drive me to other sites.

Like MsBehavin, I find many of the posts seem to indicate that the poster cannot use, or is too lazy to use, the search facility of their choice, because a simple search for what they ask will return hundreds of references to it. Those posts not worth the time to reply, either.[/quote]
I addressed that as well in the fourth post:
[quote=stephanie_cd]They found THIS site somehow, so you might think they could find and use a search engine for the really easy questions, right?[/quote]

If someone else can't be bothered to put forth a minimum amount of effort in either researching a topic so they at least know what they're talking about, or can at least spell-check something so they can be understood, why should I bother to write a reply that they may not even bother to read, or may not be able to read? I'm sometimes afraid to use polysyllabic words with people who have already proven their inability to use and navigate sites such as dictionary.com. 

[quote="happily_locked"]This site is going downhill more and more quickly. [/quote]
[quote="happily_locked"]This site is becoming a waste of my time, no longer interesting.[/quote]
You at least made the time to reply, implying that the site might be salvageable. "Downhill" is rather vague, though -- perhaps you could quantify that a little more so that we CAN salvage something before it's too late? 
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RE: What's happening to everybody?

Unread postby pleasewrap » Sat Aug 20, 2011 1:58 pm

If I might try to tone things down a bit:

1.  For any forum that is open to public membership, you're going to find people joining that don't contribute as much/the way folks think is good/positively.  Unless we institute some type of membership rule, that's inevitable.

2.  We've lost some really interesting people and gained some really interesting people.  And we will again.  Given that the forum's been around for over 6 years and is still going, it's outlived lots and lots of other forums I've seen and more than a few that I've participated in.

3.  If you think the site's going "downhill" then perhaps it's time to move on.  Talking about newer members in a negative tone isn't going to be particularly helpful or improve the site.  And trust me, the mods tend to see more than most since we clean up lots of new members that really don't belong and/or don't post positively.

The forum is what it is - a place to come, talk, and participate.  We can't force people to do so positively if they don't want to, nor can we make it a popularity contest.  And trust me, there are members that have been here a while who I don't find particularly positive in terms of contributions that are still around.

Reply to what you like, ignore what you don't.  I think the forum's doing just fine because it's still letting people share & talk about things that "the normal world" wouldn't be so accepting of.
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RE: What's happening to everybody?

Unread postby Mc Gary » Sat Aug 20, 2011 2:37 pm

When talking about the "quality and spelling" of the posts, the mentioned "downhill" can simply be due to world changing. The current Messenger -generation creates shorter, more straight-forward notifications about life and do not handle simple forum post as a essay to the school. I have found this disturbing (in other forums also) but its inevitable, so it has to be played along.

When it comes to hostility, and the way of expressing things, it has to be bared in mind, that not all of us are native english speakers. I myself have learned english in an older age (and my native language being totally different from english), and despite knowing that I have developed a pretty good english, I still make mistakes and most importantly have difficulties in expressing emotional things. So Vintagegordon, before judging me hostile, please see things from my side. I was simply noting what I saw propriate.

Lastly, it is true that this forum sometimes lack interesting topics, but like said before, people move on. I myself have been away for longer periods, just like I do with my fetishes. People "purge" such things as fetishes. Today something is ok and normal, next day it isn't.

Ps. Pardon "mah english".
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