BDSM Information Links

[Ranai Pahav]

BDSM Information Links: Ranai's Short List


Sometimes I get a request for BDSM information websites. Below is the current list I send to people (English language), with the accompanying text. Feel free to copy, archive, re-post on your website, send to someone who asks you for BDSM information, and amend as you please.

Yeah I know it isn't really a short list. 

Ranai Pahav2007-11-20 15:52:03

[Ranai Pahav]

Here’s a list of BDSM links.
Enjoy!

This collection of information websites is for and by people with various interests. I’m simply sending you the whole lot and you can peruse texts you find interesting at your leisure over the time.

From my personal perspective: Please take everything other people write or say with a grain of salt. Nobody else can ever determine what you are ‘supposed to like’ or how you are ‘supposed to feel’. Only you can discover what is good for you, here and now, by trying out things that interest you, leaving aside things that don’t interest you, and by being honest to yourself and the person(s) you are with. Don’t ever pretend that you like or want something you don’t. Don’t ever assume that you know what another person likes or doesn’t like – ask them what their own wishes, desires and interests are, and listen to them. Please be mindful of safety warnings, physical and emotional well-being, and the ethics of consent: voluntary, informed consent of everyone involved. Other than that, what counts is your inner voice. To find out about your individual inner desires, listen inside yourself.

Best wishes!



Kink, BDSM and Fetish Information Sites

http://www.sexuality.org/bdsm.html - Society for Human Sexuality BDSM Archive
http://www.leathernroses.com - Leather and Roses BDSM Resource Site
http://www.evilmonk.org/A/menu.cfm - Ambrosio’s BDSM Site
http://gloriabrame.com - Gloria Brame, Kinky Resources
http://loveandhealth.ifriends.net/full_ ... fm?topic=5 - Love and health, alternative sexuality articles
http://www.bcwsd.com/backroom/contents.shtml - BDSM Backroom
http://www.tngc.org/tngc/newbie.html - The Next Generation of Chicago Newbie Center
http://www.leatherviews.com/kinkyinfo.htm - Jack Rinella’s Leatherviews
http://www.bannon.com - Race Bannon, Intelligent information, ideas and insights about the adventurous side of sex and relationships
http://www.revisef65.org - Revise F65
http://ncsfreedom.org - National Coalition for Sexual Freedom
http://carasresearch.org - CARAS, Community-academic consortium for research on alternative sexualities
http://www.thebrc.net - The BDSM Resource Center
http://www.soulshaven.f2s.com - Soul’s Haven
http://sagacitygroup.net/main/knowledge - Sagacity Group, British Columbia
http://www.steel-door.com/Chamber.html - Steel Door, an Archive of BDSM / DS Life Articles
http://www.albanypowerexchange.com/BDSM ... ticles.htm - Albany Power Exchange BDSM Info
http://www.nlacolumbus.com/education/edumenu.html - National Leather Association Columbus Articles
http://nelaonline.org - New England Leather Alliance
http://www.arizonapowerexchange.org - Arizona Power Exchange
http://www.cepemo.com - Columbia Erotic Power Exchange
http://www.saroftreve.com/workshop/projects.shtml - Sartan’s BDSM Workshop: DIY Projects
http://www.sadomechanix.dk - Sadomechanix
http://www.jaywiseman.com - Jay Wiseman
http://www.planetmidori.com - Midori
http://www.soj.org - The Society of Janus
http://www.bdsm-education.com - BDSM Education, Electric Switch
http://collarncuffs.com - CollarNCuffs, Femdom Resources
http://www.wizdomme.com - Wizdomme
http://www.frugaldomme.com/frugal.htm - The Frugal Domme
http://www.webmistress.org/crave - Crave
http://leatherdyke.com - Leatherdyke, women-only community space by leatherdykes, for leatherdykes
http://www.smgays.org - SM Gays, social and educational group for gay men interested in consensual, sexual sadomasochism. Information sheets
http://www.pawscave.dircon.co.uk/IML/fullin.htm - John Pendal’s Articles
http://www.hawkeegn.com/bdsm/kink.html - Lord Saber’s BDSM Page
http://public.diversity.org.uk/deviant/index.html - Deviant’s Dictionary
http://www.drkdesyre.com - Caryl’s BDSM Page
http://www.lantoniou.com - Laura Antoniou
http://masterslaveconference.org/MsC201 ... eches.html - Master Slave Conference Keynote Speeches
http://www.safersaner.org - Safer + Saner
http://www.lauragoodwin.org/essays.html - Laura Goodwin
http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdsm.html - BDSM? What? Why? How? Franklin Veaux
http://www.symtoys.com - SymToys, Ideas and Scenarios
http://boybear.us - Slave David Stein
http://latches.webslaves.com - Latches, support for submissive women
http://www.seekers.org.uk - DS Seekers
http://www.vanilla-not.com - Vanilla-not, a DS Web Center
http://www.dsculture.com - DS Culture
http://www.domsub.info - Domsub Info
http://www.ecstagony.com - Agony and Ecstasy (archived)
http://www.leatherarchives.org - The Leather Archives and Museum Chicago
http://www.penitentialarts.com - Penitential Arts, history on the kinky side


Recommended Texts

http://sfsi.org/bdsm-fetishes-and-variations - What is BDSM? San Francisco Sex Information FAQ
http://web.gloriabrame.com/domidea/fallacy.htm - Five fallacies about SM by Gloria Brame
http://www.soj.org/miesen1.html - A view on sadomasochism by Don Miesen (archived)
http://www.evilmonk.org/A/terms.cfm#closing - When scene people meet someone by Ambrosio
http://loveandhealth.ifriends.net/Artic ... rticle=358 - Types of consensual submission by Gloria Brame
http://loveandhealth.ifriends.net/Artic ... rticle=199 - What is the nature of erotic dominance? By William A. Henkin
http://www.fetishalliance.net/Stories/S ... nghaus.htm - Switching: What’s a switch?
http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdswitch.html - What’s with switching, anyway? By Franklin Veaux
http://web.gloriabrame.com/glory/glorbio2.htm - How a nice Jewish girl like me became an unrepentant pervert by Gloria Brame
http://www.sexuality.org/latrans.html - Laura Antoniou transcript
http://www.tngc.org/tngc/NC_safetyzone.html - Out of the safety zone: codes of conduct and identity in SM communities by Alison M. Moore
http://web.gloriabrame.com/domidea/abused.htm - Are you being abused? A notice about domestic violence in the SM/fetish scene
http://loveandhealth.worldgroups.com/Ar ... rticle=366 - Intimate Partner Violence in BDSM Relationships by Blaise Astra Parker
http://tnlr.org/about-partner-abuse/sm-v-abuse - The Network / La Red: SM vs. Abuse
http://www.hawkeegn.com/bdsm/oldgd.html - The old guard: the history of leather traditions by Guy Baldwin
http://loveandhealth.ifriends.net/Artic ... Article=57 - Fetishes: History and Practice by Gloria Brame
http://www.revisef65.org/supportWHO.html - Scientific and political support for the Revise F65 reform. Second report to the World Health Organization by Odd Reiersøl and Svein Skeid

Glossaries and Reference

http://www.evilmonk.org/A/terms.cfm - A glossary of terms and some words of warning about BDSM jargon
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glossary_of_BDSM - Glossary of BDSM in wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_BDSM_topics - BDSM topics in wikipedia
http://wipipedia.org - Wipipedia, fetish and BDSM encyclopedia
http://kink-wiki.dreamwidth.org - Kink Wiki
http://www.bcwsd.com/backroom/library/dict_us/index.htm - BDSM Backroom Dictionary
http://web.gloriabrame.com/domidea/chgloss.htm - A Glossary of Scene Slang
http://towerofbabel.com/sections/erotic ... index.html - Index of Terminology
http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/encyclopervia - Informed Consent’s BDSM Dictionary
http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdglossary.html - BDSM Glossary
http://www.datenschlag.org/english/bisam/index.html - BDSM and fetish books: searchable international bibliography BISAM


Starting out, Relationships, Dating, Personals

http://www.leathernroses.com/generalbds ... psheet.htm - Tip sheet for beginners by Lady Green and Jay Wiseman
http://www.leatherviews.com/kinkyinfo/9906.htm - Overcoming fear by Jack Rinella
http://www.sexuality.org/l/bdsm/domadvic.html - Advice to a novice dominant
http://www.fetishalliance.net/Stories/D ... ongray.htm - How can I learn to be a good top?
http://www.fetishalliance.net/Stories/S ... bottom.htm - How can I learn to be a good bottom?
http://www.leathernroses.com/domination ... icedom.htm - Lord Saber’s views on being a novice dom
http://www.leathernroses.com/submission ... icesub.htm - Lord Saber’s views on being a novice sub
http://www.akashaweb.com/women/goodgirlpreview.html - The good girl’s guide to domination by Akasha
http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdniceguy.html - Domination for nice guys by Franklin Veaux
http://www.jaywiseman.com/SEX_BDSM_10Ti ... ubfem.html - Ten tips for the novice, single, heterosexual, submissive woman by Jay Wiseman. (Good advice and warnings to take to heart for any person starting out.)
http://www.pawscave.dircon.co.uk/IML/beef23.htm - Gaining SM confidence by John Pendal
http://www.jaywiseman.com/SEX_BDSM_MunchGuide.html - A beginner’s guide to munches by Jay Wiseman
http://www.netdatingtips.com/adhints.html - How to write a good ad by Maureen. (General advice about writing personal ads which applies to kinky people as well.)
http://www.darksideofpassion.com/personal.htm - How to write an effective personal by Atheris. (Written for men who are looking for a dominant woman; useful for anyone looking for a relationship that includes BDSM.)
http://loveandhealth.worldgroups.com/Ar ... rticle=255 - Creating an Irresistible Online Profile by Yvonne K. Fulbright
http://www.lesbotronic.com/advice-for-l ... onals.html - Advice for using the personals. (Essay series on Lesbotronic about writing and interacting on personals sites; helpful for people regardless of gender and orientation.)


Safety

http://web.gloriabrame.com/domidea/playsafe.htm - Six thinking points before playing with someone new by Gloria Brame
http://www.bcwsd.com/backroom/library/a ... afety.html - Safety first - fun second: safety when meeting for the first time
http://www.leathernroses.com/generalbds ... netorl.htm - Meeting people from online in real life
http://www.leatherviews.com/kinkyinfo/9918.htm - Rules for meeting strangers by Jack Rinella
http://www.recon.com/safety.aspx - Guidelines on safer dating, Recon
http://www.leathernroses.com/submission ... advice.htm - Slave safety: advice from one slave to his brothers by Coyote
http://www.bdsm-chicago.com/chism/NC_safety.html - Safety tips
http://absafecall.ca/ArticleMenu.html - Alberta Safecall articles


Techniques and Activities

http://www.leathernroses.com/generalbds ... niques.htm - Eight techniques for maintaining trust and communication during a scene
http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdsm_scenarios.html - Toys, techniques, role-playing scenarios
http://nelaonline.org/cmsms/index.php?page=safesexbook - Basic guidelines for safer sex and SM interactions, New England Leather Alliance
http://actoronto.org/home.nsf/pages/bdsm - BDSM: Safer Kinky Sex
http://www.bdsmclasses.com/safetymanual.php - Safety manual by Catherine Gross
http://safersm.org/SaferSM/SaferSMPamphlet.html - Safer SM. Practical guidelines and advice on HIV & STD prevention within SM play
http://www.helseutvalget.no/tpl.html?catid=5&artid=424 - S&M and fetish sex between men. The brochure deals with how to go about this kind of sex safely without transmitting HIV and other kinds of sexually transmitted infections. Gay and Lesbian Health Norway
http://www.frugaldomme.com/esoteric/default.htm - Techniques and scene ideas
http://www.frugaldomme.com/dangers/default.htm - Techniques and safety
http://www.leathernroses.com/generalbds ... igging.htm - Figging, the art of ginger root play
http://www.bdsmwaxplay.com/erotic_waxing.htm - Wax play
http://www.officerwes.com/electrical/index.html - Electricity. Erotic uses by Officer Wes
http://sexuality.about.com/od/sexualrol ... yroles.htm - How to explore fantasy sexual role play by Cory Silverberg
http://www.jaywiseman.com/SEX_BDSM_BreathPlayMain.html - Essays on breath control play by Jay Wiseman
http://www.jaywiseman.com/SEX_BDSM_Fainting.html - Assessment and Treatment of “Fainting†During BDSM Play by Jay Wiseman
http://venusenvy.ca/sex_ed - Venus Envy Sex Ed Articles
http://www.medicaltoys.com/doc-lib.htm - Medical Fetish Library. How-to’s, safety precautions, resources
http://www.leathernroses.com/generalbds ... ercare.htm - Aftercare by Chris M.
http://www.leathernroses.com/generalbds ... ercare.htm - Aftercare by Jersey Girl


Communication and Checklists

http://www.wizdomme.com/infopack/negotiate.shtml - Negotiation questionnaire
http://www.cepemo.com/Negotiate.pdf - What Do You Want to Do? Basics of negotiating bdsm play (PDF)
http://www.pawscave.dircon.co.uk/IML/beef14.htm - Topics to cover with a new SM partner by John Pendal
http://www.cepemo.com/checklist.html - 200 Question BDSM Checklist, printable version
http://sagacitygroup.net/main/knowledge ... t.doc/view - BDSM Checklist. A list of BDSM activities and instructions for rating them. Useful when negotiating with a partner. MS Word file for download. To fill out on your computer, or print and fill out by hand.
http://www.soulshaven.f2s.com/nchk_main.php3 - BDSM checklist to fill out online
http://www.vampirespet.com/ActivityChecklist.html - Submissive / dominant / switch activity checklist
http://mojoupgrade.com - Mojo Upgrade. Interactive sex questionnaire for couples to help them discover the fantasies that they might both enjoy together. Sex in general and kink
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advic ... _stocklist - Yes, No, Maybe So. A sexual inventory stocklist. For sex in general. Scarleteen
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexua ... _checklist - Ready or not? The Scarleteen sex readiness checklist. For figuring out if we’re ready for sex with a partner


Bondage Tutorials

http://www.bcwsd.com/backroom/library/a ... kurs01.htm
http://www.sexuality.org/l/bdsm/steelbon.html - Steel bondage
http://www.grometsplaza.net/packaged/te ... hyxia.html - Positional asphyxia by Gromet
http://www.shibarilover.com/bondage101.htm
http://meninrope.com
http://www.houdini-connections.co.uk
http://www.smgays.org/infosheets/classicbondage.asp- see under 'Information sheets'
http://park.kir.jp/gay/gana/common/shib ... ibari.html - Rope bondage, click on the yellow Japanese text in square brackets for step-by-step photos
http://www.ecstagony.com/eng/info/artbond.htm - Functional bondage (archived)
http://jackelfrink.com/tutorials
http://japanrope.com/tutorial.html
http://www.bedroombondage.com/bondageu/ ... index.html
http://www.twistedmonk.com/video.htm
http://www.knottyboys.com
http://www.cepemo.com/instruction.html
http://www.washi-nawashi.com
http://monkeyfetish.com
http://www.officerwes.com/ropeman/harness.htm
http://touwtjes.tk
http://tgv9.free.fr/bondage/savane1.htm
http://www.bdsm-chicago.com/cram/CRAM_tuts.html
http://www.symtoys.com/ideas_bondage.html
http://ds-arts.com
http://www.bondageproject.com/public/info-tipps_e.htm
http://www.bindme.nl/eframes.htm
http://www.ropefashions.com
http://www.ropemarks.com
http://www.mummified.net/mum_techniques.html - Mummification


Groups and Gatherings

http://www.drkdesyre.com/meetppl/orgs/orgs.html - BDSM groups in various countries
http://fetlife.com/events/all - Upcoming events, Fetlife
http://fetlife.com/places - Places and regional groups, Fetlife
http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/uk/ - Groups, munches and events in the UK
http://www.darkheart.com/usalist.html - USA sorted by states
http://www.fetishscene.com/fetishscene/cgi/main.cgi - USA and various other countries
http://www.theleatherjournal.com/?q=clubdirectory2 - Leather clubs, various countries
http://sm-finder.bvsm.de - BDSM groups in Germany
http://www.schlagzeilen.com/de/smgruppe ... ammtische/ - Germany, Denmark, Netherlands, Austria, Switzerland
http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/xx/ - Various countries
http://kinkforall.org and http://kinkforall.pbworks.com/OrganizeALocalKinkForAll - Kink For All, ad-hoc informational unconferences on sexuality
http://www.thebdsmeventspage.com - BDSM events
https://ncsfreedom.org/resources/kink-a ... onals.html - Kink aware professionals, psychotherapeutic, medical, legal
http://www.bdsmrights.com - Human rights and activism groups


Discussion Forums and Online Social Networks

http://www.boundforum.com - The Bound Forum, bondage, BDSM, selfbondage, mummification, chastity, latex, rubber, packaging
http://www.fetlife.com/login - Fetlife, a social network for kinksters and people curious about kink
http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/boards - Informed Consent, UK BDSM discussion boards
http://askthekinksters.livejournal.com - Ask the kinksters livejournal community
http://collarncuffs.com/phpBB/index.php - Collar n Cuffs, a femdom community
http://www.she-makes-the-rules.com - She Makes The Rules, discussions for women and men about daily living in the reality of a female led relationship
http://www.recon.com - Recon, fetish profiles, personals and chat site for gay men
http://www.lesbotronic.com - Lesbotronic, general lesbian personals site for lesbian/bisexual/trans/genderqueer women. Romance and dating, friends, hook ups, lesbian community. BDSM welcomed. Worldwide
http://www.collarchat.com - Collarchat, general BDSM forum part of the dating site Collar Me http://www.collarme.com
http://bondage.com/forums/default.html - Fetish, Bondage and BDSM message boards
http://okcupid.com - OK Cupid. General dating site. Heterosexual, bisexual, gay. Kink friendly


General Sexuality Information

http://www.sexuality.org - Society for Human Sexuality
http://sexuality.about.com - About sexual pleasure and sexual health
http://www.scarleteen.com - Scarleteen, sex education for the real world
http://www.thesite.org - The Site, your guide to the real world
http://www.sfsi.org - San Francisco Sex Information
http://loveandhealth.worldgroups.com/home_article.cfm - Love and Health
http://www.sexualhealth.com - Sexual Health Network
http://www.brook.org.uk - Brook, free, confidential advice on sex and contraception
http://www.clitical.com - Clitical, female masturbation and sexuality
http://www.the-clitoris.com - The Clitoris, dedicated to female sexual pleasure and health
http://www.gmfa.org.uk/sex/bettersex/index.html - Better sex for gay men
http://www.superdrewby.com/sex - Gay sex guide
http://www.tht.org.uk/informationresour ... ubid=31348 - Below the belt. The penis and testicles and how to stay healthy
http://www.tht.org.uk/informationresour ... ubid=31354 - The bottom line. Guide to anal health
http://www.sexualpositionsfree.com - Sexual positions, hetero
http://www.puckerup.com - Tristan Taormino, pucker up
http://www.tinynibbles.com - Violet Blue, open source sex
http://www.susiebright.com - Susie Bright
http://sexualintelligence.org - Sexual intelligence newsletter, Marty Klein
http://www.duckydoolittle.com - Ducky Doolittle
http://www.charlieglickman.com - Charlie Glickman
http://www.positive.org - Coalition for positive sexuality


International Kink Resources Directory

Kink, BDSM, fetishes, sexuality and relationships.
All genders and orientations.
An international directory of resources in many languages.
http://ranai.wordpress.com/kink-resources


More Places to Look

Book recommendations in English.
Kink resources in print, Andrea Zanin.
http://sexgeek.wordpress.com/kink-resources

Introductory texts about BDSM for educational settings
http://ranai.wordpress.com/2011/12/02/i ... l-settings

If I were writing the 101 course, Ranat, Beyond the hills.
This is a collection of posts, articles, and what-not that I would have liked to have come across when I first dared enter “dominance and submission” and “sadomasochism” into search boxes.’
http://beyondthehills.wordpress.com/if- ... 101-course

Kink and sexuality related blog posts and fiction. Tagged by themes and authors.
Ranai Pahav on Delicious.
http://delicious.com/ranaipahav


I edit and update the lists occasionally. If you should find a broken link, or a website that has moved, or would like to recommend further resources, I’d appreciate a note. Thanks!
Ranai

Ich berarbeite die Listen hin und wieder. Falls ein Link nicht mehr funktioniert, oder eine Seite umgezogen ist, oder du weitere informative Seiten empfehlen möchtest, würde ich mich über eine Nachricht freuen. Danke!
Ranai

FAQ - http://ranai.wordpress.com/kink-resources-faq

[s661055]

shouldn't www.slavefarm.com be on the list too?

[hunnyBeez]

Hello Ranai

Thanks for a great list.

If you have time to check out my site www.dsculture.com and if you think it is appropriate I would love it to be added to your list.

hunnyB


hunnyBeez2008-01-01 10:13:51

[Ranai Pahav]

Thank you for posting your site, hunnyBeez!
This is the kind of informative website I'm looking for. I've enjoyed reading around very much, especially the texts in the "BDSM our way" and "Our story" sections, such as the bondage and mummification descriptions and texts about discovering your interest in switching. I have included your site under General Information.

Currently I have this link list posted on discussion forums and a blog on wordpress:
Here on the Bound Forum, on the discussion forum Fetish Lore (edit: defunct forum), and on the femdom forum Collar N Cuffs. So when I make an update, I update it everywhere so I don't get confused. :) I'm glad you find it useful.

Edited to update link.
Ranai Pahav2011-06-24 06:51:46

[askit]

Thank you for your list this is great alot of information. 

[Ranai Pahav]

You're welcome and I'm glad you are finding the links helpful! Just a minor update today.

There are also various good blogs and audio or video podcasts by kinky people around. I haven't fitted them into this short list, but you can find a selection in the Kink Resources Directory. As usual, please use your own good sense and a broad variety of resources.


Edited to update link.
Ranai Pahav2011-06-24 06:30:08

[phoebe]

Thank you for the updates Ranai.
Good to see you!

phoebe

[Ranai Pahav]

Thank you for your feedback, phoebe.
And a smile from you is always lovely.

Due to the fluctuating nature of the net, I continually have to ditch websites that have vamoosed. If their owners put them up again, I hope I can add them again some time in the future. On the plus side, I continue to discover stuff I hadn't seen before. Another list update done for now (I hope).

[BestBdsmBargains]

Dont forget my site....Add it to your list....

[Piper]

It seems like those entries on the list are more informational than they are retail-oriented.

[ValerieKapture]

Wow I totally forgot that I posted this. Lol. And I still haven't found a spider gag. :(

[Trekkie]

[quote="ValerieKapture"] Wow I totally forgot that I posted this. Lol. And I still haven't found a spider gag. :([/quote]

Got mine from Rupert Huse.

[Ranai Pahav]

[quote="Piper"]It seems like those entries on the list are more informational than they are retail-oriented.[/quote]
Yep, that's correct. The sites I'm looking for, for this list, are informational. One of the criteria I'm using here is: links to sites selling gear are only included if the store has a special section for informational resources. It should be original content, not articles filched from elsewhere, and more than just one or two alibi pages. Links to sites selling online porn are not included. Porn can be a fine entertainment thing, but porn is fiction, not information.

If someone else would like to start a list of vendors, it seems like a good idea to me, if it is all right with the forum rules. A new thread with a list collecting the retailers for bondage equipment that get mentioned in threads on this forum might be useful, and probably appreciated by many. Just sorted alphabetically, or by country and region, or by the types of things they sell? I just don't feel up to doing it myself, because then I would have to commit to keeping it updated. If there's a member around here who would enjoy upkeeping such a list, send me a PM, and I could send you some links to retailers I have as a starting point; and then I suppose you'd want to scour the forum for more, and people would add more posting to your new thread. You'd need to check the links once in a while, throw out dead ones and add new ones, as bondage and BDSM gear sellers disappear, and new ones appear.

[Ranai Pahav]

I've updated this list today.
There are some new additions in Bondage Tutorials and General Information.

The Kink Resources Directory is updated too.

Enjoy!


Edited to update link.
Ranai Pahav2011-06-24 06:31:43

[Ranai Pahav]

Updated today! Happy reading around. If you have new suggestions of informational sites for this short list or for the directory (including international links in languages other than English), let me know any time in a post or message.

Edited to update link.
Ranai Pahav2011-06-24 06:33:20

[Ranai Pahav]

I've made an update and added various more recommended articles.

People who are writing a personal ad and profile about themselves, you might especially be interested in the articles about 'writing a personal ad' and 'creating an online profile'. You find these articles under Starting out, Relationships, Dating.

Enjoy reading and let me know about any further link recommendations you have.

[Jerry]

Data overload... I love it!  Thanks!

[Acunga]

Hello, i decided to ask here if anyone knows any websites with some free BDSM galleries and full series?I can not post a new tread so excuse me if my question is not for here.

[Ranai Pahav]

Hello Jerry, you are welcome! Let me know if you have any additions to the lists to suggest.

Hello Acunga, when you’ve participated on the forum for a bit (30 posts) you’ll be able to post new topics in ‘Links & Site Reviews’. Check out the link posting rules for details. You can take a look around the existing threads too: perhaps you’ll find links to images that interest you.


I’ll elaborate a bit on a thing which I hope a lot of people reading this already know anyway.

I don't include sites meant for entertainment only, such as galleries or stories or films. Porn and erotica in written or image form has a legitimate primary objective, and that’s to entertain and turn on. It tells a story. For entertainment purposes, whether it has anything to do with how people interact in real consensual relationships is optional. This should be obvious... but apparently it isn’t to everyone, considering you come across people taking porn narratives at face value, as if performers and fiction authors producing stuff for our entertainment were people describing their personal lives. Entertainment media can, at times, indirectly inspire things we do. But then it direly needs reality checks.

Another pitfall of entertainment media used as how-to source is, of course: Whom was this produced to turn on? If, for example, a visual medium was produced for a hetero male viewer only, don’t be surprised if, for example, hetero women who want to see hot men in an attractive light, yawn and go away.

People using entertainment media as if they were a guide to social interactions get unpleasantly surprised when they realise that their fiction-based expectations make them vulnerable to deception, posturing and scams, and that other, sincere people consider their fiction-based behaviour not consensual, or just rude, obnoxious and a turnoff.

People endanger themselves and the people in their lives if they transfer so-called ‘knowledge’ acquired from entertainment media directly to reality. Much as I enjoy consuming kinky stories and eye candy that is to my taste, it would be dumb and rude of me to transfer an idea to our life just because it turns me on, without realistic consideration and without educating myself. ‘Oh, that’s so hot’ is not enough.

For doing kinky stuff ourselves, thankfully, more and more education sources become available to us, in person and in media. Side-effect: when it’s well formulated and well presented, info and discussion is entertaining as well. And yep, every one of these sources need to be weighed with sceptical, critical consideration too. As presenters and writers are human, have their own limited perspectives, and to make mistakes is human – here too we get to apply our own brains.