'Serious' bondage talk

[Bootsandducttape]

Greetings to all.Like all of us, I have had fetishes since I was very little. I am now 18, and I've grown quite curious about my perversion. Why bondage and boots and heels, why not bare feet? Why did I become a pervert in the first place? No one in the bondage fora I post asks questions like my ones. I have scrutinized all the memories I have from my early childhood, yet I haven't discovered anything that can explain my obvious attraction to stuff most people seem to be rather neutral about.I have found this book: http://junglegirlandme.comIt's an old man's auto-biography. He's the only fetishist I've found on the web who has shared the impact his fetish had on his life, and who tries to explore the nature of his fetish, as well as its cause.From what I've seen, it looks like most fetish sites serve as masturbation material only. How come there aren't any topics discussing bondage a little bit more 'seriously'?Bootsandducttape2012-01-08 14:54:43

[karnautrahl]

Fetlife does in the writings of various members on there.As for me, I was 6 when I started heavily fantasizing about being trapped, locked in, buried, sealed up, built into machines and worse; some of which are even legal desires. All of me being the victim. Six years old dammit. Mom and Dad did not keep porn and I didn't see sex mags till I was 11.The real cause? Dead easy one. I'm not very sensitive in my cock. 2 years old, had an infection, was circumised due to over tight foreskin and infection.Left me with far less sensitivity and yes, at 6 I had the urge to hump against my bed for some weird reason. I couldn't finish the urge, didn't know what it was BUT I found if I imagined certain things, the urge would get closer and the feeling wanted to go somewhere. So the images and stories got more extreme.Emotional friction in other words. This required taboo, disgusting and confining scenarios with some humiliation, dehumanisation and conflict. Eventually one day I got off...I was a bit old. 11 I think.By then, I wanted to fuck cars and be bound, buried and all kinds of goodness; all of which made me ashamed in the daytime-mildly only!-and horny as fuck at night.No fears, traumas or hidden abuse or early sexualisation from other sources. It started in my body, in my head.Incidently, the detailed machine plotting boosted my mental abilities significantly I theorise. At least, I can feel, see and talk my way through multiple solutions to a properly, building things in my mind. These days, usually bondage kit. I suspect way underage fantasizing is in fact good for intellectual capacity and imagination development.Downside?Vanilla does nothing whatsoever for me. It's not exciting enough.

[roboman]

It's been brought up here a few times. Lots of shrinks like to search for an event that caused someone to become 'kinky'. Most of the stories about that seem to be more a story of some one discovering their 'kink' then about the moment some one became "kinky'. Then there is the old, mom or dad spanked them so they became 'kinky'. Lots of people have an event that they feel caused them to become kinky and lots of others either feel they were always that way or that puberty or some other event just opened their eyes to what was already there. My guess is that to one extent or another, both sides are right. Physically and mentally there aren't any two brains exactly the same, just as no two people  grow up exactly the same.   I don't think it was a childhood event that caused my eyes to be brown, gave me a natural aptitude for math or layed the ground work for me to become kinky. I do believe life has shaped the ideas in my head to some extent, but not the basic aptitudes or interests. I don't know as it's changed my eye color at all In the nurture vs nature question, I don't think it's one or the other. I think we are born with interests and potentials. What happens with those  interests and potentials is in large part life and what we do with it.

[Bootsandducttape]

To karnautrahl: Some interesting points you make.Also:[quote="karnautrahl"]Fetlife does in the writings of various members on there.[/quote]Thanks a million for sharing this. [quote="karnautrahl"]Downside?Vanilla does nothing whatsoever for me. It's not exciting enough.[/quote]Same here too. This has caused me much trouble.I have had girlfriends, but I am pretty sure that none of them shared my kinks. It kills me that I still haven't done what I've been fantasizing forever!I mean, people who like vanilla have much more chances of doing what they like!....not to mention that due to my love for high heeled shoes, I end up trying to find a girlfriend who wears them, and in this, I have failed every time.Each time I get close to an excellent pair of heels, it reminds me of how much I long for some shoeplay or at least to get intimate with a girl in a hot pair of boots! And it hurts a little bit..Bootsandducttape2012-01-09 13:33:48

[karnautrahl]

I am lucky; I don't submit in life that easily, despite my needs; instead I take more and more control and deliberately acquire by making, adapting, perverting whatever I need.However, I've met people who enjoy me worshipping their car.I know there are women who would love to watch you lick their shoes cleawn and worship them. LOTS of such. Why not be direct and upfront online and ask for this.I do with cars, I get cars; often enough for my needs.