review - The Cargo

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RE: review - The Cargo

Unread postby feline » Sat Jul 08, 2006 6:25 pm

The Cargohttp://fetish.pornparks.com/boundstories/storiesad/the_cargo.html
New address:
http://www.grometsplaza.net/boundstories/storiesad/the_cargo.htmlshortly i am going to go on about how wonderful, in so many ways, this story is!  but first, there is something i just have to get off my chest.dear author, please take a pile of paper, and a pen, and write out, long hand, 100 times "i will put a proper marker in my stories when i change the scene"going from one paragraph to the next and not knowing if we are in the same place, with the same people, or suddenly - as happened once - in an entirely new location, with entirely new characters we had never heard of before...  this is confusing!!!  so please put a marker when doing this, to help the reader!now onto the story its self.  there are lots of furry characters, which some might find off putting, but personally i really like (no surprise there Smile ), but to be honest this does not really matter.  first and foremost they are characters, people we learn about and care about.the story is quite long, which is good, given how much is packed into it.  the writing is smooth, flowing, and easy to read, which is always a bonus.it did take me a little while to get everyone sorted out in my head, and i found the initial cast of characters to be more confusing than helpful, but that may just be me.there is lots of creative, wicked, teasing, and oh SO fun to read about bondage in this story.watching the count down from the central computer was a joy, as it added a lovely element of suspense and interest to the story, leaving one wondering what was going to happen, but expecting it to be very good indeed when it happened.from a logical point of view i am left with one big question, what happened to priority number 2 for the computer?  this reads as if keeping the crew in suspense and on the edge of orgasm is one of the main things to be done, but look at the incredible scene with the knotted ropes...  this seems to be designed to produce lots of orgasms, which is in contradiction to priority 2.  i would like to have seen this explained, or to have it explained some time soon.after finishing, and really enjoying, this story i went back and re-read the cast of characters, this time with a lot more understanding.  this gives me some idea of where the story is going, and i really do hope there is another part being written!  i want to read it now!!!  sooner would be good Smile
gromet2006-07-09 06:42:59
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RE: review - The Cargo

Unread postby gromet » Sun Jul 09, 2006 5:42 am

In Sabina's defence she did state when she sent them to me that she is "not a good editor". The story was sent to me in three parts and I combined them (naughty gromet)
 
Thanks for taking the time to review the stories feline, it gives great feedback to the authors.
 
Have contacted the author to let them know of this review.
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RE: review - The Cargo

Unread postby sabina » Sun Jul 09, 2006 1:49 pm

By bad editor i meant no editing at all. i really just sit down and write, what you see is pretty much first draft with a spell check.

There are two more chapters of Cargo written and am working on another, so more is coming. And i have other stuff i can send Gromet if you like.

Was Cargo the only one i sent you Gromet?

Oh, and thanks for the kind words feline, i was hoping you would like it.
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RE: review - The Cargo

Unread postby feline » Sun Jul 09, 2006 1:50 pm

so what you are trying to tell me is that you share half of the blame, so when it comes time to tie up and spank those responsible, you want to make sure that i do not unfairly victimise the author... Whipping

or was it that you want to make sure you get your fair share of the correction? Wink
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RE: review - The Cargo

Unread postby restricted » Sun Jul 09, 2006 2:46 pm

[size=15]Welcome Danielle. Have fun with all of us. Big smile It is a great site with (usually) friendly people! Cheers[/size]
I used to be weird and kinky. But then I joined Bound Forum and became normal.
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RE: review - The Cargo

Unread postby gromet » Sun Jul 09, 2006 8:18 pm

[quote=Sabina]Was Cargo the only one i sent you Gromet?[/quote]
 
Yes the first three parts of Cargo was all I received.
 
[quote=Feline]tie up and spank those responsible[/quote]
 
Can I have my fair share too!
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RE: review - The Cargo

Unread postby sabina » Sun Jul 09, 2006 11:50 pm

Just call me sabina.
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RE: review - The Cargo

Unread postby _MiG_ » Mon Jul 10, 2006 1:51 am

Very well done :)

I'd read that story once before, and like it a lot. Sci-fi, bondage, what isn't to like?
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RE: review - The Cargo

Unread postby feline » Mon Jul 10, 2006 6:37 pm

looking back at this thread i suspect cross-posting took place, i donot recall seeing any words from sabina last time i was here *rollseyes*

since you are here, *considers* what else did i want to say aboutthis?  i get board talking to myself about others stories, so tend topost short reviews.

one of the main things that really sticks in my mind are the two core directives of the AI, and the echo's of Asimov's 3 laws of robotics.

as someone who likes romantic and loving stories rather than dark stories this was very close to ideal, since it was all loving, yet naughty enough to really be good fun!

as a fan of furry this just added a bonus to the story, but it was also quite easy to look past this, and enjoy the characters for the people they were.

the image of the captain and her engineer off along in space for weeks at a time, with nothing to do but engage in endless kinky bondage games...  *big happy smile*

i did wonder as i was reading it where the "balance" came in, since the core directives given to our lovely AI do not say anything about ever letting our captives go, yet you only have to look at the new route that she plots to see that common sense is alive and well.

i am jumping around a bit here, i know, but short of sitting down and taking several hours to work though the story as it was posted there is not much else i can do.

the comment early on about locking people into the chest at the bottom of the bed, plus if you think about it all of the crates of various sizes on hand offer some tantalizing posibilities for packaged bondage games, another personal favourite topic Excited

turning to the setting and the background, combine the computing power and physical strength of the AI plus her body, with the enhanced bodies of our lovely (and furry *yummy*) ladies and you have logically and sensibly allowed the story to push boundaries of position and duration of bondage that simply would not work for normal characters.  once the initial "suspend belief" is achieved, everything else comes along for free, which is a nice bonus.

i really do want to know what happens next, and what is going on with our war "machine" in the chest.  is this someone / something with a deeply kinky bent?  i do hope so.  certainly i am hoping that this is someone who will make short work of the pirates, since i really do not want to see them spoil the happiness we have so far!

as for gromet and his editing, perhaps you need to find some way to encourage him to do a bit more work next time?

as for other stories, where are they, and when do i get to read them???  i am waiting...
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RE: review - The Cargo

Unread postby sabina » Tue Jul 11, 2006 12:59 pm

i like a mix of darkness and romance really. The characters i always like the best, and tend to write about, are kinky themselves. On some level they do enjoy what's happening even if they are in over their head. Completely unwilling victims are not so interesting to me, but i also don't like silk scarf, i can get free at anytime bondage. The best, for me, is person X wanted to be tied up, and once they where Captor Z took FULL advantage even taking things a little too far.

That's pretty much a thread in anything i write. No snuff, some body mods, but again nothing too radical (with one exception but i rarely share that story).

And as a side note every character in this story is based on someone. Admiral Gray is based on Anne Gray! Thomas is based on the artist TAW, both of whom i have been in email contact with and shared ideas, stories, drawings and the like with. Jenka, Celes, Frostbite, Leece and Amanita are all people i know from different MUCK's and are presented here pretty much intact. (Yes Leece clones herself, last count i think there were seventeen of her.)
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RE: review - The Cargo

Unread postby feline » Tue Jul 11, 2006 5:58 pm

*giggles* as someone who has quite happily had a conversation between the different me, on this forum, at various times, i can relate to Leece :)  i tend to feel that 3 of me is enough for most people though *innocent expression number 28*

my tastes on bondage fiction seem quite similar to yours, which helps to explain why i enjoyed this so much.

at the risk of sounding eager, have you submitted the next parts to gromet yet?  some of us are eagerly awaiting what happens next :)
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RE: review - The Cargo

Unread postby gromet » Wed Jul 12, 2006 12:30 am

Sabina has just sent me 3 stories. Basement - 10 parts, Kidnapping of Jenka - 6 parts and The Party.
 
Will be posting soon...
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