Older I get, the less I want

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Older I get, the less I want

Unread postby therealme28 » Mon Dec 19, 2016 1:17 am

I realize that I'm only 28 and about to turn 29 but the older I get the less bondage and kink I want. I still want on a rare occasion, but the more I'm realizing that I want less and less. I'm also realizing that I dislike things that I thought I might have liked, after trying. The odd part to me is that it took me a long time to realize that I disliked those things.

It took me forever to realize that I dislike gags. I only tried gags on myself so I would be willing to try it again with another human being.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that as I get older, I find that the fewer kinks I desire and want.

For so long, I thought that because I wanted kink in my sex life that I would need to find a dominant. The thought turned me on and I had fantasies for a long time.

The more I learn about myself, the more I realize that I may not be compatible with a dominant.

At one point in my life I wanted to try a lot, explore my fantasies, and be with a dominant.

Now, I’m happy with a little kink and I’m okay if I have no kink at all. As long as I’m compatible with my partner, that is more important than kink to me.

My sexual fantasies have confused me for so long and I’m realizing that a lot of it was just fantasies that I do not want to become a reality.

It isn’t always easy, sometimes lots of fun, and sometimes emotional, but exploring has really helped me a lot.

In March, I was spanked by a man with his hand. I enjoyed it at the time, and was aroused, and wanted it to last a little longer than it did. I even wanted more at the time.

Yet, afterwards when I felt the hurting on my ass cheek and felt it when I sat, I disliked that feeling. I always wanted to feel it and I didn’t expect for it to feel like that.

Fantasy can be so different than reality.

Awhile back I walked away from kink and never wanted to return. 7 months later and I am exploring. I'm tired of the back and forth yet I've never really explored like this before! I've never really had a clear mind like this before.

In my explorations, I'm really learning that d/s is not what I wanted yet a little kink is what I might want. I feel more comfortable now that I know I can realistically know what I want.

Finding someone that is sexually compatible wasn't ever really difficult for me, although there have been a few.

So for someone that likes kink a little, is it more about sexual compatibility than perhaps a d/s dynamic / finding a dominant?

Is BDSM often a part of a persons sexual exploration? Instead of exploring with woman, perhaps I was exploring in BDSM!

Is it common for a person to want less and less as they get older?
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Re: Older I get, the less I want

Unread postby MelbourneDom » Mon Dec 19, 2016 9:37 am

>Is it common for a person to want less and less as they get older?

Not for me.

I first discovered my BDSM needs when I was pre-pubescent boy (about
eight or nine I guess). I am now in my sixties but those needs have
been strong throughout my life and don't show any signs of weakening.
Sometimes, just sometimes... I wish they would :)
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Re: Older I get, the less I want

Unread postby simple man » Fri Dec 23, 2016 2:02 pm

I find myself in a similar yet slightly different situation: I'm 22, turning 23, and this year I found a girlfriend who sometimes plays the role of a mistress for money (nothing sexual to be honest, mostly trampling and feet-fetish, because she is not into BDSM at all, she just does it for money). I was scared by the fact at first but then since I'm into kinks aswell I told her that I could have asked her to be my mistress sometimes and she answerd "your kink is not my kink but your kink is okay" and then she begun to tie me up during bondage, gag me and such kind of light BDSM. She knows that I'm into way more complicated stuff: latex, zentai, mummification, breathplay and many more. However I always told her that since she is not turned on by my kinks it is pointless and makes me uncomfortable to make her do something more than gagging me with her panties, pantyhose or hand. (I'm reaching the point, sorry for the long introduction) At first it was difficult for me, because if you have someone that could possibly satisfy all of your fantasies it seems stupid to prevent her from doing that. However, at the moment, I begin to cast away all of those thoughts, I'm more interested in exploring a normal sexual life with her than imagine myself wrapped in plastic while she is giving me a blowjob (an example) and, might sound stupid, but the answer to me was Love.
Kinks are selfish desires, it might seem not because for many slaves the idea is to be completely submissive, but your mistress is basically focused only on your desire to be dominated and you are just using her to reach your satisfaction. Therefore when I see my lady and she asks me "what you want me to do" I feel that the right answer is not "be my mistress" but "love me as I love you" and if our relation will go on I'm quite sure that all my kinks will be gone, sooner or later. Then, all I wanted to say was: Yes, it might be your age that takes you away from such desires, or yur experience, or Love as in my case; but kinks are likely to disappear or become less and less important in your life.

PS: I'm not saying that people that practice BDSM even at 60 or more are wrong, everyone is different :)
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Re: Older I get, the less I want

Unread postby Petrajane » Fri Dec 23, 2016 4:49 pm

simple man wrote:PS: I'm not saying that people that practice BDSM even at 60 or more are wrong, everyone is different :)

Oh good, I'm glad you're not saying that! :gag: :D
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Re: Older I get, the less I want

Unread postby simple man » Sat Dec 24, 2016 12:10 am

Petrajane wrote:
simple man wrote:PS: I'm not saying that people that practice BDSM even at 60 or more are wrong, everyone is different :)

Oh good, I'm glad you're not saying that! :gag: :D

I think I will never stop feeling aroused with an hand over my mouth, though. I'm just cutting off all of the heavy and difficult stuff ;)
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Re: Older I get, the less I want

Unread postby RAE123 » Sat Dec 24, 2016 2:18 am

i AM 70, and I still have on my bucket list to try a pro-Dom once and
get really tied up, where I can not move a mussel.
So am I to old to want some extreme bondage.
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Re: Older I get, the less I want

Unread postby boundBinder » Sat Dec 31, 2016 8:04 pm

About to hit 50, and I literally still want to be bound and gagged, constantly. Truthfully, my desire for 'vanilla' has diminished, instead. As I've grown older, my urge for more thorough, and more strict restraint has increased, as well.
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Re: Older I get, the less I want

Unread postby lanad » Wed Jan 04, 2017 11:13 am

I probably stay longer in bondage as get older, as I enjoy the struggle to free myself and the dreams, and the chastity, and the complete freedom to do absolutely nothing except fight for escape.
looking back there is a pattern to my kink and that is a year of wanting to be tied up and a year of not being bothered about bondage, perhaps it's a way of dealing with the problems of life.
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Re: Older I get, the less I want

Unread postby FatherOfFour » Wed Jan 04, 2017 7:12 pm

Last couple years, since discovering kink, my vanilla sex life is better: my selfbondage sessions give me more "playfulness" and while my wife is pure vanilla, I'm more satisfied with her, keeping sex out of my sessions.
I too have a few weeks of not even dreaming, and then three sessions in a row...

@Lanad: so, if 2016 was an active year, should we hear less from You this year? It would be sad, because I'm inspired by Your life adventures!

Have fun, kink till You drop,
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Re: Older I get, the less I want

Unread postby lanad » Thu Jan 05, 2017 11:59 am

lanad wrote:Lanad: so, if 2016 was an active year, should we hear less from You this year? It would be sad, because I'm inspired by Your life adventures!


currently doing a lot of writing (in my spare time) about my "adventures", not easy as most of my notes were made after the sessions and are as if I was drunk and a bit scrambled,
I have one that's about 3 years old and quite detailed, a simple bed bind.
one about suspension that is quite recent.
and 1 or 2 others.
but I'm currently on a no bondage since my suspension adventure.
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Re: Older I get, the less I want

Unread postby BoundToWait » Thu Jan 05, 2017 12:58 pm

We change with time and age. That's a process everyone goes through. There are a lot of older, kinky people, so I think kinks usually stay with most people, but you might be an exception. What's important is not so much if you like gags or not, but if you feel comfortable with what you are doing. It doesn't really matter if that's something you liked 10 years ago or not.
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Re: Older I get, the less I want

Unread postby lanad » Sun Jan 08, 2017 10:50 am

RAE123 wrote:i AM 70, and I still have on my bucket list to try a pro-Dom once and
get really tied up, where I can not move a mussel.
So am I to old to want some extreme bondage.
Rae

I have made a crappy video of selfbondage. you can see it hear on

http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?v ... 0ba06a545c

I will remake it when I have the time.
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Re: Older I get, the less I want

Unread postby lanad » Sun Jan 08, 2017 11:45 am

therealme28 wrote:

My sexual fantasies have confused me for so long and I’m realizing that a lot of it was just fantasies that I do not want to become a reality.

In March, I was spanked by a man with his hand. I enjoyed it at the time, and was aroused, and wanted it to last a little longer than it did. I even wanted more at the time.

Yet, afterwards when I felt the hurting on my ass cheek and felt it when I sat, I disliked that feeling. I always wanted to feel it and I didn’t expect for it to feel like that.


Is it common for a person to want less and less as they get older?


you should allow your fantasies to come true, because as you get older they will over power you reality. it's part of your sexual appetite.
I always wanted to dress as a woman, and in my youth I attempted this but was overcome by sexual desire, and it was not until I reached 40 that I actually fulfilled my dream.

my self bondage has been with me since I was a child before puberty. the desire came and went for almost 50 years until I finally achieved the entire fantasy. (dressing and bondage)
.
you are influenced by what you see on the net, so you probably think that is what you want, so you must try it, the young people of to day are overwhelmed with to many choices, but it only you that can chose which one you will follow.
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Re: Older I get, the less I want

Unread postby Hertoy » Tue Jan 24, 2017 11:55 am

I am part of a lifestyle couple in their 60's, we've been married for 23 years, together for closer to 30. If there's one thing we've learned its how to read each other by picking un cues in body language, speech & general actions. We're both into pretty much the same things. My wife fully embraces her dark side (as have I) and over time has learned how to both tease, please and terrify me all the while without causing injury. I wouldn't say we want less over time, its just that we know what we each want and are able to communicate freely and openly with each other.

Fantasies are sometimes just that. Fantasies. Life would be pretty freaking dull without them. There's only one way to find out if you really want to experience something. If it works for you, fine. If not, move on.
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