Exquisite. I found myself growing genuinely attached to both characters, and fully invested in their story, over and above the obvious fetish interest. In fact, there were a couple of parts where I rushed through those references, just to get back to what I thought was "the meat" of your tale.
As far as critiques, which you asked for, I have only two:
1) Length. I wanted more. Not just the bondage stuff, either. I wanted more explanations of her powers, more close calls with her hunger, and more scenes of the two of them just....being. This is just a testament to how well you crafted the story, though.
2) This critique is trivial, and not something anyone other than a grammar/spelling Nazi like myself would notice. You have a couple of word-choice mistakes, and a handful of spelling errors. These issues are meaningless, though.
I loved every word of this. Well done. Thank you for sharing it.
Playing with Fire
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- Unfettered Newbie
- Posts: 28
- Joined: 18 Jan 2022, 06:14
Re: Playing with Fire
Thank you for your kind words/sentiment, and your feedback.
Re length, this is always tough; I originally envisioned this as a short story, but it somewhat accidentally grew into a medium one. There's always a trade-off between "staying on topic" and meandering too much, and I tried to strike the right balance.
Re word choice, I agree; more proofreading would always help. I did what I could, but undoubtably I missed things.
I am glad you enjoyed it.
Re length, this is always tough; I originally envisioned this as a short story, but it somewhat accidentally grew into a medium one. There's always a trade-off between "staying on topic" and meandering too much, and I tried to strike the right balance.
Re word choice, I agree; more proofreading would always help. I did what I could, but undoubtably I missed things.
I am glad you enjoyed it.